Help - advice and opinions

[bigreddog 0]

Hi All

I'm 34, 396lbs, father of a 3 yr old living in the UK. I really need help to get myweight down to a point where I can start running around with my little boy, and generally being well again.

A friend reconmmended lap banding to me, and I've been looking at it. My only concern is that the weight loss looks quite slow, and that it may not get me down low enough. Also, I enjoy the martial arts, and I worry about contact sports.

Anybody got any advice, encouragement/discouragement, tips or useful experiences for me.

There's lots of good stuff on these forums, but I guess I want someone to help me say 'Do it - it'll transform your life'

Thanks in advance

BRD

[Wheetsin 714]

Hi BRD. Everyone's experience will differ, and in theory you should lose faster than a female, but I had a similar starting weight and am down just under 100 lbs in 5 months. I've already lost over 50% of my excess weight, so in theory I should beat the statistics in the next month or two. Now - please PLEASE don't take that as "look how great I'm doing" -- but take it as reassurance that it CAN be done. I too had doubts about the LB being able to help me lose as much weight as I needed to, so I asked on another board for people who had lost 100+ pounds and got TONS of responses. So then I asked for people who had lost 200+ and still got TONS of responses. That really helped give me reassurance!

I too practice martial arts - Aikido - and haven't had any problems but I don't do it competitively either, don't test for belts, etc. I just do it b/c I enjoy it. So sparring is very limited, and mostly just for the motions. I wouldn't see any problems continuing, but when you get to the stage of looking for more information, it would be a great question to ask the surgeon.

I did it. It is transorming my life. I can't help but be full of hope and thoughts like, "Just think where I'll be this time next year!". For the first time in a very long time I truly feel like I just might be able to get there this time, and stay there longer than a week!

[NewSho 20]

Quite honestly - no one can tell you which surgery is best for you, your metabolism, your lifestyle.

But this quote stands out at me:

... My only concern is that the weight loss looks quite slow, and that it may not get me down low enough. Also, I enjoy the martial arts, and I worry about contact sports.....

So you think that at nearly 400#, you are a better athlete than you would be if you lost 150# or more pounds with a LapBand? This makes no sense to me, honestly. I mean you can't think that the LapBand is going to interfere with your sporting activity? It doesn't, people are very active after banding with no trouble. But wow, it's incredible to me to think that at just under 400# your concern is how this will affect your sporting.

I don't mean to be harsh BRD, but hopefully you will find some method that really works for you. Being obese is the toughest thing in the world, and no matter what surgery you choose I'm sure that getting 150# to 200# off your frame really will 'Transform your life' as you hope it will.

Good Luck!

[Loving-It 0]

I think you should do what I did and research both methods. The pros and cons of each. For myself, the cons of gastric is what convinced me to go the band route, but that might not worry you. It just depends.

I do agree that with you being male, your weight loss will be faster on the band than a female, but that depends on how you are able to control what you eat. If you have a hard time with that then gastric might be the way to go. But again, you should do your research and figure out which method will be the best tool for you.

Good luck in whatever you decide! :clap2: And good for you that your involved in karate. Activity is definitely key no matter what you do!

[Loving-It 0]

So you think that at nearly 400#, you are a better athlete than you would be if you lost 150# or more pounds with a LapBand? This makes no sense to me, honestly. I mean you can't think that the LapBand is going to interfere with your sporting activity?

I don't see where he said that? I read that he's concerned about the contact part of the activity and with having the band. Sounds like a good question to me. You don't want a kick in belly.

[Wheetsin 714]

I don't see it either. At all.

I see someone wondering if he'll have to forego certain activities post-banding. Just like many of us did. I know I was on the horn with Inamed re: scuba diving many times before my operation.

[bigreddog 0]

Spot on - newsho, it's the contact that concerns me - I know I'd be better lighter. I don't want the band ruptured ot the port tearing lose if I take a shot.

[Elisabethsew 50]

You need to ask these questions to a surgeon. A forceful blow to the abdominal area MIGHT injure your port so I would check it out with your surgeon and see what restrictions, if any, are imposed.

I have a male friend who was banded on July 1, 2005. He was 350 pounds and now weighs 180 and is 43 years old. Men lose faster than women and heaven knows this guy did NOT do a lot in the way of exercise.

Look at ALL forms of weight loss surgery and choose the one that's right for you.

[Wheetsin 714]

Ok Jack. Aikido. BSU. Anything else?

[bigreddog 0]

OK, so that's all positive. Thank you.

So can anyone suggest any reason NOT to go this route? I think I've made my decision, but I need to explain it to my nearest and dearest, some of whom I know are going to be opposed to it (we've mentioned it in passing).

So what views can you expect people to throw at you - and how do you counter them?

[mousecrazy 2]

You might get a laugh out of this...about two months before my surgery, my niece had lapband surgery, and I teased her about it! So, even those who might make light of your decision, CAN be converted! Those who scoff are just people who probably need a bit of an education about it, first of all, and most of all, they are NOT you, and you are the one who is living in your body. YOU get to decide!

There is no question that the decision to have this surgery, and then follow through during this year with learning better ways of coping with stress than eating, and staying on the LBT boards (willing to learn), have transformed my life.

I have an 8 year old DD, and one of the most important reasons for choosing lapband was to be able to participate in her activities. That has happened! I can walk all over the place, climb rocky beaches, dance with her...I even helped lead the music class at vacation Bible school, which was 3 hours of movement and singing...I seriously could not have done it last summer.

I am wholeheartedly, 100% happy with this decision!

Good luck to you, BRD!

[Wheetsin 714]

Is that baby wearing a loincloth??

[Wheetsin 714]

So what views can you expect people to throw at you - and how do you counter them?

I really haven't faced much adversity. My family's perspective was pretty much, "We know you can lose the weight, but you have a ahrd time maintaining. We know you aren't the same person you were when you were thin. We miss that person. This is probably what it's going to take for you to keep the weight off, which will give us our Wheetsin back, so we'll support you in every way we can."

Co-workers have all been REALLY curious. They want to know all about it b/c most of them have never heard of it. They want to see my scars, they want to know what I can/can't eat... etc. No bad reactions at all. In fact, three of the girls upstairs have gone to my surgeon's seminar, and are in the process of filling out their preliminary paperwork.

DH at first was against it, but he didn't understand it. He knew what RNY was, and assumed all WLS involved similar reconstitution of the organs. He went to info night with me, got a little educated, and decided that if it's what I wanted it would be OK. Now - that evolved, and the closer surgery came, the more "for it" he started to get, until one day I asked if if HE wanted me to have the surgery and he said "As unselfishly as I can possibly make this sound, yes. I want you to be healthier so we have more years together." Now that I'm getting my body back, my confidence, esteem, etc. - he's thrilled. He tells me all the time.

Now, all the warm fuzzies out of the way, here are the things I kind of expected people (not my family) to say (which is another way of saying, "here's what I'm telling myself"):

1) "That's the easy way out." To answer this one, here's something I posted in another thread:

You know... so what if it is an easy way out? Does that make the outcome any less valid? Does it have to be "the old fashioned way" to count? Is a size 8 somehow not a size 8 if you got there with the band? If you have to somehow "earn your stripes", I'd say the trauma of surgery, discomfort of healing, and pain of stuck foods pretty much earns them.

You know, there's the old fashioned way. And it's called "old" for a reason -- because there are such things as progress and technology and advances. Medical advances, like the band. I could lose the weight the old fashioned way. I did it. Twice. And it came back each time. I'm proud of my band. I'm proud I found in myself the courage to have my first surgery, voluntarily. I'm proud that I'm losing the weight for good. 90 something percent of the people doing it "the old fashioned" way aren't. So maybe this is the easy way, but maybe it's also the smart way.

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2) It's so unlike you to give up. But you can look at it at least two ways: a desperation move, or a control move. Are you desperate and this is your only choice, or are you tired of playing the game and this is you stepping in and decising enough is enough.

3) You're not that fat. (I did hear this one). I'm sorry? My BMI is 50. I'm 200 lbs above my "ideal" weight. How am I not that fat? (answer was - "Well, you carry yourself well. You move well. You don't act fat.") LOL

4) Isn't there another way? Sure there is, but this is the way I've chosen.

[cris35 2]

I hope my ticker works thistime. sorry to get off the subject.

[bigreddog 0]

Thanks boys and girls.

Just sent in my application form (gulps nervously!), so I guess I'll hear in the next couple of days about my date and stuff.

That'll be another post then.....