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Hubby Doesnt Understand



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I have a huge support system, that does not include him....I have 2 besties who are great and another sleeve sister from another month and 3 sleeve sisters from same day! I use this forum as a major source of information, support, and knowledge. I swim 3 X a week and walk the other 4. I have gained so much energy from the weight loss of 75#, my knees don't hurt, my back doesn't hurt...and I am going crazy redoing my dining room and living room.

And it never fails when we get company or have just gone to Ranch and Home supply store or grocery store that there isn't at least one person that with exclamation asstounds how awesome I look and that I am just glowing....It is great inspiration for me and he has to have some acknowledgement of my weight loss, though he has not uttered one word in praise or encouragement.

I have overcome the wishful thinking he will one day he will too acknowledge that I am losing wight and that I do look alot better and more healthy than I have in years!

I love my friends, family, and community who do support me openly in public and in private....some people don't know how to approach the fact that I have shrunk #75 but you can see it on their faces...."do I say something or not"

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Grandmaof4. You are doing so great. Good for you.

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I didn't want to be seen and I also cared what others thought. My fiancé use to get so angry with me. He loved me that way and so should everyone else. He did not understand that I didn't feel good enough and that I was always being judged. My ex is verbally abusive and that started getting to me as well. I am 12 days out and down 21 lbs. It's amazing how much this has helped my self esteem! You are makin the first decision towards a happier life and even with my complications I would do it all again!

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I didn't want to be seen and I also cared what others thought. My fiancé use to get so angry with me. He loved me that way and so should everyone else. He did not understand that I didn't feel good enough and that I was always being judged. My ex is verbally abusive and that started getting to me as well. I am 12 days out and down 21 lbs. It's amazing how much this has helped my self esteem! You are makin the first decision towards a happier life and even with my complications I would do it all again!

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I have never been married, so I offer no advice on spouses, but it seems to me that it is so helpful for sleevers to have their own forums, perhaps it would be helpful to create a forum just for spouses where they could talk to others of their own kind and express opinions, yay or nea or just confused. They could get feedback from others in similar situations and not worry about being considered un sympathetic or clueless. I have not read everything on the board yet, is there such a forum? Diva, you are a moderator, just a thought from a single pre-sleever.

Robbe

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    • BabySpoons

      Sometimes reading the posts here make me wonder if some people just weren't mentally ready for WLS and needed more time with the bariatric team psychiatrist. Complaining about the limited drink/food choices early on... blah..blah...blah. The living to eat mentality really needs to go and be replaced with eating to live. JS
      · 2 replies
      1. Bypass2Freedom

        We have to remember that everyone moves at their own pace. For some it may be harder to adjust, people may have other factors at play that feed into the unhealthy relationship with food e.g. eating disorders, trauma. I'd hope those who you are referring to address this outside of this forum, with a professional.


        This is a place to feel safe to vent, seek advice, hopefully without judgement.


        Compassion goes a long way :)

      2. BabySpoons

        Seems it would be more compassionate not to perform a WLS on someone until they are mentally ready for it. Unless of course they are on death's door...

    • Theweightisover2024🙌💪

      Question for anyone, how did you get your mind right before surgery? Like as far as eating better foods and just doing better in general? I'm having a really hard time with this. Any help is appreciated 🙏❤️
      · 2 replies
      1. NickelChip

        I had about 6 months between deciding to do surgery and getting scheduled. I came across the book The Pound of Cure by Dr. Matthew Weiner, a bariatric surgeon in Arizona, and started to implement some of the changes he recommended (and lost 13 lbs in the process without ever feeling deprived). The book is very simple, and the focus is on whole, plant based foods, but within reason. It's not an all or nothing approach, or going vegan or something, but focuses on improvement and aiming for getting it right 80-90% of the time. His suggestions are divided into 12 sections that you can tackle over time, perhaps one per month for a year if a person is just trying to improve nutrition and build good habits. They range from things like cutting out artificial sweetener or eating more beans to eating a pound of vegetables per day. I found it really effective pre-surgery and it's an eating style I will be working to get back to as I am further out from surgery and have more capacity. Small changes you can sustain will do the most for building good habits for life.

      2. Theweightisover2024🙌💪

        That sounds awesome. I'll have to check that out thanks!

    • BeanitoDiego

      I've hit a stall 9 months out. I'm not worried, though. My fitness levels continue to improve and I have nearly accomplished my pre-surgery goal of learning to scuba dive! One dive left to complete to get my PADI card 🐠
      I was able to go for a 10K/6mile hike in the mountains two days ago just for the fun of it. In the before days, I might have attempted this, but it would have taken me 7 or 8 hours to complete and I would have been exhausted and in pain for the next two days. Taking my time with breaks for snacks and water, I was finished with my wee jaunt in only 4 hours 😎 and really got to enjoy photographing some insects, fungi, and turtles.
      Just for fun last week, I ran two 5Ks in two days, something I would have never done in the past! Next goal is a 10K before the end of this month.
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      Hi everyone, I wrote back in May about having no strength. I still get totally exhausted just walking from room to room, it’s so bad I’m using a walker with wheels of all things. I had the gastric sleeve Jan. 24th. I’m doing exactly what the programs says, except protein shakes. I have different meats and protein bars daily, including vitamins daily. I do drink my fluids as well.  I go in for IV hydration 4 days a week and feel ok just til evening.  So far as of Jan 1st I’ve dropped 76 lbs. I just want to enjoy the weight lose. Any suggestions or has anyone else gone thru this??  Doctor says just increase calorie intake, still the same. 
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