What A Difference 18 Months, 20 Thousand Dollars Worth Of Surgery And 130 Lbs Lost Makes...

[ouroborous 519]

I can say, as silly as it sounds, that attention from males is really bugging me at this point. I'm irritated with the sudden over-helpfulness of male sales associates, the sudden messages from strangers on Facebook, etc. I was always the girl with the "pretty face" AKA FAT ASS BODY, so nowwwwwwwwwwww you want to be nice and attentive?

I know i'll get past this stage, but right now, I know exactly what you are referencing.

Ah, well, I guess that's the difference between men vs. women. Before I lost the weight, women would always be friendly, but never show any interest of their own. I would never get a woman "making the first move." Now it happens regularly. I don't want to act like I'm some kind of swingin' super stud -- I'm not; I'm still basically a shy, nerdy guy who's far happier with a book than at a sports bar. But just because I'm not "Austin Powers" doesn't mean I don't want a hint of "James Bond" in my life...

On the other hand, men are socialized to be aggressive and make the first move, so I can see where going from zero to... full on over-the-top male attention might be... overwhelming. But hopefully you'll get used to it; do what I do, just smile, enjoy the attention, and move on. And, I guess, if they don't take no for an answer, tell them where they can shove it...

[ouroborous 519]

Thanks for all the kind replies, folks. I just felt like I needed to post a little positive thinking after realizing today that I don't stop to smell the roses often enough...

[newgrandmother11 25]

the best story i have read regarding weight loss. im so happy for you boo. i myself dont want a man coming up to me when i get small. i still have the same loving heart as when i was fat.

[Dooter 1,457]

Haha!! What a blast! That's awesome. Just remember, when those girlies start flirtin'... be aloof....make 'em work for it!! Goooood tiiiimes....

[Aussiegirl 580]

What a great thread. Congratulations on all your success and how you have changed your life.

Enjoy the flirting

I am waiting for the flirting to begin...bring it on I say..

[Veda 12]

Congrats!! I enjoy reading your posts and replies to messages. You should write a book as your style is understandable and relevant - clear and entertaining. Thank you for sharing the details and how you are dealing with the TWO YOUs. I really miss the me I used to be and hope to see her again soon.

All the best to you in your journey!

[Sleeved&Hopeful 182]

That is awesome ! I think you deserve some flirting. I am sure it is flattering. When I was thin, men were overly helpful and pretended to just want to be friends when they really just wanted to get in my pants. I was trim when I got married 10 years ago but I'm not anymore. The attention from men would probably not be welcome at all since I'm happily married. I might smile and feel flattered but that is where it would end. My husband is territorial LOL. I hope that HE is happy with how I look in addition to myself. Anyone else's opinion would just be icing on the cake, but not necessary. I think for me the main things are 1) to put my diabetes in remission 2) to be more confident and outgoing. I have zero social life and don't like going places anymore because I'm insecure. I really hope that changes with this.

[CT Fats 82]

Always love reading your posts, its great for a male perspective on things! Sounds like you are on the last leg of the mental journey that goes along with the sleeve. i now I am still working on that aspect. People compliment a LOT lately and when I look in the mirror I still see that fat guy. But its like you say, its that little self defeating voice thats inside all of us that wants to keep you manic about some body issue.

[christin 54]

Great post! Gives me a taste of what I have to look forward to! Congratulations!

[Mr_Worm 129]

Great post man!

[SKCUNNINGHAM 298]

Ouroborous, I am proud of you, and happy for you. You have made an impressive journey - I'm glad you are enjoying yourself now. You have to tell that critic that lives inside your head to take a hike - or he needs to learn a new line of chatter - the old stuff doesn't work any more.

I hope you enjoy all of the female attention and are lucky to find a woman that deserves you.

[mnbsleeve 87]

What a great post Ouroborous! Congratulations on all of the changes you've made in your life! What strength and courage!!!!!

[NtvTxn 1,262]

I would say that the hardest part of this entire journey is really getting used to the fact that I'm just not that guy anymore (ya know, that fat, depressed, invisible, un-sexy, out-of-breath, exhausted, sick guy; if you substitute "gal" in there, I bet it might hold true for some of you ladies, too!)

That's what really amazes me most, and that's what I have to fight with, literally every day. I'm not that guy anymore, and I'm never going to be him again.

The head games we play!!! What a fun journey it is!! It's taken a while but I am no longer going to the large womens clothing dept. I still glance over there and remember how I hated to shop, how I ONLY shopped when I had to get something new. It is strange and wonderful the way people react to us now, at least I think so. I didn't feel invisable before but I think I wanted to be invisible at times. I always felt like the largest girl in the room and now, seriously, I feel like and I AM the smallest woman in the room. Wow!!! Yes, what a difference eighteen months make!!! Life is good!!! Congrats to you!!!!

[NtvTxn 1,262]

The additional attention from men since losing weight just tells me it is REAL. I think women treat me differently as well. My glass is more than half full!!!!

[ouroborous 519]

The additional attention from men since losing weight just tells me it is REAL. I think women treat me differently as well. My glass is more than half full!!!! :smile1:

Yeah, this sort of stunned me, too; now I feel like men take me a lot more seriously. Dunno what that's all about, but it's not unwelcome, either.

People really see you as a completely different person when you're in shape vs. obese. It shouldn't be that way; we should judge everyone by their merits (brains, humor, kindness, etc.) But the cold hard facts of the matter are: looks -- and weight is a huge part of "looks" -- really are important in this society. My feeling is that I can either rant and rave about how that shouldn't be the case -- and achieve nothing, and be miserable -- or I can just do what I can to look the best I can, and enjoy the rewards.