What A Difference 18 Months, 20 Thousand Dollars Worth Of Surgery And 130 Lbs Lost Makes...

[ouroborous 519]

How bizarre. In 18 months, I've gone from an XXL (bordering on XXXL) everywhere with a 46 (going on 48) inch jeans waistline, to XL in the shoulders, L bordering on M in the waist, and M for undershorts. And my jeans are 36 inch waist, and that's getting a little baggy; I can now fit into 34's without too much work, and I expect to be comfortably wearing 34's by the summer (doubt I'll get much smaller than that, since that's basically my hip bones!)

I've basically gone from being shaped like a giant jiggling amorphous blob to having the classic male "inverted wedge" shape with a tiny little stubborn tummy roll (I HATE you, jelly roll, I hate you! I do crunches and obliques EVERY SINGLE DAY and yet still you persist...). I seriously NEVER expected that I could look in the mirror and LIKE what I see. It just didn't occur to me. I find that my self-criticism is having a hard time lately; since it can't point at all my rolls and rolls of fat, it's having to do things like point out that I'm getting older (see! you have a sprinkling of silver at your temples! see! there's a faint visible line on your brow! old man!) and the last little bits of fat (see! there's a jelly roll at your tummy and especially on your flanks... FATTY!). In some ways that's sad that I talk like that to myself (but don't we all, secretly?) but in some ways it's kinda comical that this little sad cynical part of me is having a harder and harder time finding things to complain about!

I've gone from being utterly invisible to the female gender; an "LJBF" (let's just be friends) kinda guy -- friendly, smart, nice, but sexy? no... To having the very cute 20-something barristas at the local coffee shop openly flirting with me (a 40-something guy!) whenever I go in. In fact, that's one change I have a hard time dealing with, since -- at the tender young age of 41 -- I have almost zero experience in dealing with women reacting to me physically -- you know, as a male -- as opposed to simply emotionally or mentally. The idea that some woman might think I'm physically "hot" -- well, that's a completely new experience to me. I'm not Brad Pitt, but you know... I'm not bad looking! That's an utterly novel feeling for me. But I like it, and better late than never!

I went from being unable to walk more than a couple of blocks without being in excruciating pain from sore feet, sore knees, and chafing thighs... from being unable to stand up for any length of time because it made my lower back hurt... from being unable to run for more than a couple dozen feet without becoming EXTREMELY winded... to being a guy who hits the gym five days a week for weights. A guy who walks 2.5 miles every day without breaking more than a light sheen of sweat (and that's at about 4mph, up a rather steep hill half the way). A guy who runs -- RUNS! -- for five minutes to warm up for his workouts, and is seriously considering whether or not he could actually, you know, RUN for exercise in the mornings (when it's not so goddawful cold, anyway). I mean, who IS this guy?

I've gone from a heart attack waiting to happen, high blood pressure on the border of needing medication, diabetes any day now, zero energy, zero libido, always sick to never sick, perfect blood pressure (104/68!), perfect blood sugar numbers, almost zero risk of heart attack, high energy with the libido of a teenager.

All this is in the course of 18 short months. I haven't worn a 34 inch waist since elementary school. I haven't been a "normal" weight since, well, ever. It's easy to lose track of it since it's the new normal (oh and, hint to guys getting older: the gym is your FRIEND!) but when I look back on how much things have changed in less than two years, it's just... astounding.

It's like I've lived my life as two different people -- and folks, that first guy sucked.

I just had to share that because I know all too well just how easy it is to become so focused on the negatives (and let's face it, if you look hard enough, you'll ALWAYS be able to find something about your body that you don't like) and overlook the incredible, unbelievable, amazing positives.

[Lissa 2,631]

Sounds like you're doing serious head work right now!! Good for you! Enjoy the attention, although I get why it bugs you somewhat. You've really done great things with your sleeve and it was all so EASY, right? The workouts you talk about are what no one seems to get...if you want to succeed at this, you HAVE to WORK at this.

Congrats on feeling and looking better!!!

[fluffylibra30 323]

Congrats on your weight loss!!! You have so much to be proud of!

I completely understand what it feels like to look in the mirrror and not like what you see, ive only lost 30 pounds so far but im already picking myself apart in the mirror, then i look down and I CAN SEE MY FEET!!! It was my first NSV!!! I am so excited for those Ahhaahaa moments.

You have worked hard and now it is time to reap your just rewards! Good luck with the ladies! Hope that is me in 18 months! (excpet the ladies part ahhhaaa)

[ouroborous 519]

I would say that the hardest part of this entire journey is really getting used to the fact that I'm just not that guy anymore (ya know, that fat, depressed, invisible, un-sexy, out-of-breath, exhausted, sick guy; if you substitute "gal" in there, I bet it might hold true for some of you ladies, too!)

That's what really amazes me most, and that's what I have to fight with, literally every day. I'm not that guy anymore, and I'm never going to be him again.

[New_Hope 54]

Thanks for the update. You are looking great, and an inspiration for those of use that have not had the surgery yet.

[Beyon Sleeve 57]

Outstanding! Love the positivity. Your words are very encouraging. I've already had a WTF moment when I put on a pair of pants and they literally fell to the floor, but in the same breath I beat myself up because next to them is a pair I'm not ready to wear. Internal struggle is a "b"! Congrats are on tremendous transformation!

[skinnybeyotch 5]

You are my hero!

[longer-life 139]

Loved your post. :clap2: Congratulations on your new life.

[ocean_ophelia 31]

Great post. No, you are not that guy, and that's something to Celebrate. Now, go flirt with the barrista!

[yecats 109]

You seem to have a very healthy attitude. I believe you are in a great place right now. You know the saying it always look greener.... or you want what you can't have well.... you might have lubs around the middle, and you are not perfect , who is? Live in the moment, enjoy where you are at. Also , to your benefit remember that men generally get better looking with age, not so true with women. Maybe all would not agree but I beleive but I have witnessed that.

I must say (and know I am not coming on to you lol) you are a handsome guy, I also think these ladies would agree and say since you are sharing so much I think that you should share a full body shot pics. You sure got my curiosity up. Relish the moment and live in it, Let everyone revel in your progress lol....

[Ms skinniness 3,003]

Congrats! All of us have pretty much the same struggle. We should or will learn to embrace our beautiful new bodies and live to enjoy today. Enjoy! We all deserve it..

[Steve Demko 8]

Dude you rock I've been working on this for a short time now, I can't wait to join you! I have the same thoughts of myself that you did in your PAST life body. I can't wait for the ladies I'm going to kill it! Thanks for making my day, I'm going for a walk.

[Shalon 10]

I can say, as silly as it sounds, that attention from males is really bugging me at this point. I'm irritated with the sudden over-helpfulness of male sales associates, the sudden messages from strangers on Facebook, etc. I was always the girl with the "pretty face" AKA FAT ASS BODY, so nowwwwwwwwwwww you want to be nice and attentive?

I know i'll get past this stage, but right now, I know exactly what you are referencing.

[renee5d 13]

Just what I needed to read tonight! I'm only ten weeks out and was feeling yucko because after skiing six hours yesterday, I gained two pounds overnight! I know it will come in time! Thanks for the smiles! Good job on all your triumphant moments and enjoy the ones to come!

[favoredone 590]

Awesome job!!! Great post...