Please Help Me, Now I'm Scared!

[ItsGottaGo! 0]

Well, I made the awful mistake of going over to OH.com and reading the memorials page. I am terrified now. I had my mind made up and am going to see the surgeon on Thursday for the lapband. I did the seminar last week. I have been reasearching for 3 months now. I know the complication/death rate is much lower than RNY, but, how much lower?? I am a 42 yr. old single mother to a 5 year old daughter. Her father is not in her life at all. If something happens to me, she is an orphan. I have dieted and regained weight my entire life, but up until 5 years ago, have never been this weight. I gained all of my weight with pregnancy and due to events in my life since then, have been unable to take it off sucessfully. I have lost and gained the same 15lbs 3 times in the past year. Diets are not going to work for me and I cannot excercise because every bone in my body hurts. My feet feel like they are broken. I need to lost 80-100 lbs (ideally), but anything at this point is better than what I am. I'm scared now. I cannot afford to die to be thin. Other than my weight, right now I have no other co-morbidities, except for high-cholesterol. I honestly feel like I need the band to keep my weight off for good. If I don't do it now, I never will. I just need some reassurance after reading those memorials, I am terrified. Help!:help:

[vinesqueen 2]

((((hugs))))

You poor thing!

There is a very good reason there are no memorial pages here at LBT. We've only lost one person, Blossom. She was one of the sweetest people on the board. She died tragically when her tractor over turned while she was doing some major landscaping, and not from direct complications from her band.

Some would say that if she haddn't gotten banded, then she wouldn't have had the energy or strength because she wouldn't have lost any weight.

[FunnyDuddies 6]

There are no deaths related to the band. So you have no worries. There ARE deaths directly related to other weight loss surgeries.

[ralheit 1]

I know the fear you have for your daughter, but if you don't do something for yourself now, will you be there for your daughter later? My motivation was my grandchildren, I want to see them grow up and I want to be able to be active with them while I'm watching. This surgery was my choice because I know the statistics for other WLS. You have to do what you feel is right for you, but I think your fears are unfounded. Bless you and best of luck with whatever you choose to do.

[marieforme 0]

Oh I know it is scary but it will be OK! You will be much healthier and live a more fulfilled life for your daughter. Just think about how great it will be when ya'll can go to the park and play together without getting tired? And you won't have to worry about the very serious problems that come with obesity - diabetes, high blood pressure, etc. You are doing a great thing for you and for your daughter also. She doesn't want to lose her mom to obesity related disease and that is tons more common than severe problems with the band. My doc says this surgery is the best thing you can do for yourself and your children, too. I was scared to have the surgery, but even more scared of dying from a stroke or heart attack. God Bless you and there are lots of people praying for you!

[princess_n_thep 2]

I had the same fear. I think we all did. In my case, it was a do or die situation (emotionally). If I didn't lose the weight I would be lost and dead anyways. I took the leap. I am glad I did.

[ItsGottaGo! 0]

Thanks everyone. I am not afraid of the pain or the lifestyle change, I am only afraid I will die on the table or from a complication after, in other words, directly related to the surgery. I really want to have the procedure done, it's just when I read the memorial page on OH I panicked. I am pretty much emotionally dead right now, at 225lbs, probably more now, as i have been eating like I am going to the electric chair, and 5'1" tall, I hate myself, and am of no use to my daughter like this. Just afraid of dying because I was a failure at dieting and needed to have a surgical intervention.

[MsButterKup23 1]

I too have looked at the memorial page. I have yet to find anyone that was on there that had Lap Band and died as a result of it. I have heard of one person dying shortly after surgery and she was a city councel lady I believe from Chicago who's surgeon messed up.

Something you really need to think about is the risk of staying obese. Meaning what are your chances of developing diabetes, heart disease, strokes etc vs risks that happen from surgery. I found that the risk of me dying from being obese was much greater and I went for the surgery. You also have to look at quality of life for yourself and your child. I actually play and chase my daughter around. :Banane56:

Trust me I know the jitters, I was going through heck this time last year as I am almost 1 year post-op and down almost 120lbs. I am still overweight, but I have a lot more energy to play with my almost 2 year old daughter and my quality of life has improved. Would I do it again?? In a heartbeat.

Please take care and keep us posted.

[Bettina 0]

You won't die, your surgeon will make sure that everything runs smoothly..you will have a lot of pre-op testing also! You're doing it for the right reasons...your daughter and yourself. You are gonna be awesome!!!!

Take care!

[Mert 0]

I read those memorials on OH too and they scared me away from a brief consideration of RNY. All the memorials I read were RNY patients, lap band is much safer. I am in your shoes too. Don't let anybody talk you into RNY. My surgeon tried to and I said no, but it upset me because I have small children and nobody can ever love them like their mama does.

:Banane56:

[bitteroldhag 0]

Lord. I was a terrible candidate for lapband surgery. I had a double heart bypass 13 years ago, diabetes, and general debility. I came through just fine. In fact, this was a minor surgery. Go for it. You can only help your daughter. And be glad you just have to fight fat. A friend of mine has breast cancer and a 7 year old daughter. You can do it if I can.

[beachgirl 2]

I think your worrying over nothing. Dr. Sanchez told us after surgery that he'd done over 6600 lapbands, not rxy, and had NEVER lost a patient. That's damn good odds. Our odds are lots worse of getting killed on the highway.

I don't think you should worry about anything. It happens so fast and quick that you don't know what hit you. As soon as I came to Dr. Sanchez came back to check on me and he said I lifted the covers and said "Why didn't you put my band in" he said he laughed and laughed.

You'll do wonderfully and it's not dangerous.

[Paulax 8]

Good luck with your decision. I for another one, think you will be WAY more healthy and emotionally happy with a lap band.

There are many posts on this board, including mine, that say how fearful we are of dying on the table, even a few of us who thought of jumping off the table in the surgical room and running away. ha I am so glad I didn't.

I too am happy for my 3 children, age 6, 8 and 11, that they will soon have a healthier mother who will most likely live longer and healthier 100 pounds thinner....(haven't lost that yet, but I plan on it.)

hugs and keep us up on your decision.