Returning To Work

[Pookeyism 1,143]

I had my surgery on the 4th, and my Mom passed away on the 11th. I had to fly to Va from Tx to take care of everything and returned on the 20th. I have spent alot of time crying and pushing myself to take care of everything. The stress had been signifigant and I am recovering but I cannot see myself returning to work this week. Predominant symptoms include excessive soreness if I sit upright for very long, extreme fatigue that pops up out of nowhere (to the point that I almost and sometimes do fall asleep). I get disoriented and lightheaded to the point that my Hubby has pointed out I should not drive, and I agree.

I have a 'final' doctors appointment on Tuesday where I have already been advised I will be released, since "nothing went wrong" with the surgery, and these complications are associated with my Mom's death. WTF? How can they determine that? I was told if I needed more time I needed to take it to my PCP and ask. I was told they would not do it because if they delay my release it looks like they did something in error.

Has anyone ever heard of anything like this? It sounds to me like I was told I am on my own because they will not admit I could be having complications.

[fern 195]

Is it a problem to see your pcp? It sounds like your surgeon's only looking out for himself. You may find it easier on yourself to make that extra visit. I'm so very sorry to hear about your mom. That would be such a huge stress on your body mind and soul. Of course it would delay your healing!! Hugs coming through to you!!

[ProudGrammy 8,322]

Hi Pookey

I remember when you told the forum about your loss. It must have been so hard for you to have to deal with final things surrounding your moms death, taking care of your family, kids etc. Also trying to take care of yourself after WLS - my heart goes out to you.

I would once again go back to your surgeon with a different approach. He can yes clear you from surgery, but say something like "do to all he new personal problems" i feel she needs more time to re-cuperate. "Surgery was totally successful, but it would be advantageous for her to recuperate a little more at home, due to her anxiety from her mothers death, this might benefit her recuperation.

As far as you PHP, who shouldn't even be as worried about the "success" of the surgery, (since he wasn't even surgeon involved) I feel he should definitely be more sympathetic saying something like - "yes, she could go back to work, but i feel it would be beneficial to stay at home for a bit re-couperating a little from her personal problems due to the death of her mother then having more time to deal with her WLS.

BTW - isn't there maybe a time off you get for a "death in the family."

Wish you well , take care of yourself at this hard time

Kathy

:hug:

BTW - what is your boss like? is she in your corner at all?

[LoserMama 37]

Ridiculous I say. I am so sorry for your loss, pookeyism. But yeah, I'd take the extra step and get the PCP to help out. Nothing you've described sounds out of the ordinary for where you at. When you get to a month you'll hopefully not be in pain anymore...about 3.5 weeks is when it all pretty much went away for me. I have a sedentary job that most of the time Iwork from home. i had planned on take two weeks off, went back for two days, and then decided I need another week. It wasn't pain so much as it was fatigue! So I understand.

As far as other options, do you work at a place that also has a policy for bereavement leave? Many companies offer anywhere from a day to a couple of weeks off just for the loss of a close family member.

Hugs.

[Pookeyism 1,143]

Thank you all.

The bereavement leave would just about be over, too. It was Wed. before last. I will discuss it with my doc tomorrow and if he refuses to keep me off any longer I will go to my PCP the next day and go from there. As is I was not informed of there being any problem with being allowed any extra time if needed until Friday as I was getting ready to board a flight home to Houston, so I have not been able to get a PCP appointment until Wed.

My immediate supervisor and I have been in a strained relationship since I told him I was having surgery. Well, actually he feels I have had excessive mourning days in 2011 - my Grandmother passed away last January, my Grandfather in October and my godchilds Grandmother in May. I only took a vacation for the latter but he really was ticked off. With that said I usually work a 10 hour day, and get it OT on the weekend to the point I most often work 60 hour weeks.

Ironically, if the work situation were better, and I had any reason to believe I would be offered any way to not have to move around ALOT, lift heavy objects, run back and forth to chase down my warehouse guys who will not respond to repeated messaging, and a whirlwind 2-3 hour end of day crunch to get paperwork and the like ready for assigning export forwarders (warehouse is allowed to turn in paperwork hours late daily) I might could return. When I go over it and think of everything I woud go through (my boss never expressed any sympathy to me for my Mom's passing) once back, I know I need more time. I need to be able to go back in at least to a point to be sharp enough to give my boss tit-for-tat.