I Feel Like Maybe I Should Cancel My Surgery?

[AllForMy4 58]

I had my surgery on Jan. 10 and my surgeon did not require a pre op diet. I just had to do Clear Liquids the day before drink the Mag Citrate. Up until the one day liquid diet, I had the biggest food funeral you can imagine. Went to all my favorite restaurants, had my favorite dishes during the holidays, Desserts, you name it. I had my consult with my surgeon 6 days before surgery and he asked me to cut back on really fatty foods for the final few days. He told me that it doesn't take long to shrink the liver. My surgery went smoothly with no complications. In fact, he called it "nice and boring".

Now, by all means follow what your doc tells you! I am in no way encouraging anyone to break diets. Just sharing my experience with not being required to do one.

By the way, I'm 11 days post op and down 18 lbs!! WOOO HOOO!!

I also have to drink the magnesium citrite the day b4. Bleck!

[MzPecanBrown 86]

I think thats awesome that you did so well. Congrats

(null)

Thanks! My recovery from the surgery went really smoothly. I had an ovarian cyst rupture a couple of days after I came home. I've been in the ER twice for complications from it. If that would resolve itself, I'd be on easy street. I originally planned to return to work on Jan. 23. We'll see...

[MzPecanBrown 86]

18 lbs in 11 days?!?!? Awesome! I am feeling slightly better that a few ppl cheated and still got to go through with the surgery. It's crunch time now.. My hubs is mad bc I threw out ice cream and Cookies,o well.

Thanks! I'm SO excited! Does your facility mandate pre and post op classes? I have some that are mandated and some are optional support groups. We are encouraged to bring a support person to those groups so they will know how to support you through each stage. I would recommend your husband attend with you if he already hasn't. You'll eventually be able to have those things, but remember, we have to make the most out of the first year after surgery. Weight loss slows at a certain point and you wouldn't want to be sabotaged early on and waste this valuable time.

Good luck to you! I hope for a speedy recovery for you.

[circa 333]

Thank you. I am trying to talk to him,it's like talking to a brick wall. At the last minute,he doesn't want me doing the surgery?? SO confused right now,this is ridiculous! The only support I have is here! WOW

Well, we are always here! If you need someone to talk to - PM me and I'll give you my phone number. You DESERVE to be supported for bettering your health!

[Mr_Worm 129]

Its ok to reschedule surgeries. It sounds like your support system on this is already failing. The pre-op diet is SO important to shrink down your liver prior to surgery to make the proceedure go more safely and to also see if you can mentally follow the diet after surgery. No one said you had to be in a hurry in doing all this. Just make sure you feel ready to do it and know your support is going to be there and you've made the mental commitment to follow the change in lifestyle. Once its done, there's no turning back!

[AllForMy4 58]

Thanks! I'm SO excited! Does your facility mandate pre and post op classes? I have some that are mandated and some are optional support groups. We are encouraged to bring a support person to those groups so they will know how to support you through each stage. I would recommend your husband attend with you if he already hasn't. You'll eventually be able to have those things, but remember, we have to make the most out of the first year after surgery. Weight loss slows at a certain point and you wouldn't want to be sabotaged early on and waste this valuable time.

Good luck to you! I hope for a speedy recovery for you.

Thank you so much. We are required to take post op classes for support. The preop was the nutrition class. I hope he comes with me so he can understand more. He went to the seminar with me.

[Puja 148]

Before having the surgery, I had a talk with everyone in my immediate support network about what I needed from them and why. I cried a lot, it was difficult, but it has worked wonders.

My boyfriend was supportive, but sad I was having the surgery, because he felt he was losing a foodie partner. Even today, he doesn't enjoy eating out as much, because I'm not sharing a big 3 course meal with him. I no longer let him eat off my plate (unless I'm finished), and don't let him eat my leftovers that I bring home with me. It's not only my lifestyle that has had to change, but also his. The difference is, he had no choice in the matter.

Just before the surgery, I know he was tense and worried, and acted out in ways that I didn't understand. Finally, he asked me not to have the surgery. I went ahead with it, knowing it was best for me.

My parents indirectly and unwillingly also did things that hurt my previous and post op diets. It was important for my future health to sit down and have a talk.

It's difficult for patients to deal with their health problems, but it's usually even more difficult for the loved ones of patients. They sometimes have a difficult time communicating their needs and emotions.

Long story short, try to have a sit down and really discuss what is going on with him, and the both of you. Find out what he needs from you, and let him know that things will not change all that much.

[SLL 6]

Take a slow, deep breath. You are in a perfectly "normal" spot for pre-op. Most of us have a mental freak-out just before surgery. It's a big decision & a big deal. I am 2 months post-op & have lost 45 pounds...it was worth it! I still have some more to lose, though. I went through a bunch of different emotions before surgery...& I had mine JUST before Thanksgiving! So, that meant mushies over the holidays! Hard times. Anyway, my advice is to go ahead with your surgery as planned. It will be a huge relief when you are past that big part of this journey. For me, waiting is always the hardest part. And it sounds like you have made your decision to do this. You're just having last-minute jitters, which is completely fine & healthy! Also, there are ALWAYS going to be people who are going to have "bad foods" around you. Just make up your mind that YOU are the one in charge of your feelings about what you choose to eat or not eat. You CAN totally do this! YOU are in charge of the choices you make for you, regardless of what bad foods are around you, whether it be at home, on the road, at work, at the grocery store, at your family or friends' homes. That's the name of the game from here out. Making "better" decisions for yourself every time you have a choice to make. Block the bad stuff out. It's simply "off limits". (Although you are eventually going to be able to have things you currently enjoy that are not exactly healthy, just in moderation.)

You need some other support people too. Check to see if your surgeon has a support group he can recommend for VSG. My bariatric center has one every Thursday night, & I go when I can. It is so neat to be with other people who have been where you are & who are going through what you are going through. And you get some great ideas!

I sincerely think (if you haven't already) that if you just sit down and calmly dicuss your husband's feelings with him, you will lovingly find out what he is going through emotionally right now & you can let him know where you are as well. It sounds like he is possibly afraid of you going through the surgery. I don't know for sure. He could be afraid that you will lose a lot of weight and attract attention from other men, so maybe insecurity??

Wishing you the very best as you continue along this exciting journey! Trust yourself & make great choices for yourself! You are going to to fantastic! (((HUGS)))

-Stacey

[AllForMy4 58]

Well, we are always here! If you need someone to talk to - PM me and I'll give you my phone number. You DESERVE to be supported for bettering your health!

Thank you! I threw all the junk food away!

[AllForMy4 58]

_{Thank you so much. I'm glad to know I'm not the only one that has gone through this. I was very happy this morning to get on the scale and see I have lost 7 lbs since I started my pre-op diet and it made me not want to stop! =) I threw all the junk away last night. He got mad! =( He is not here right now but when he gets back we are supposed to have a sit down. Thank you all so much for supporting me,you have no idea,well I'm sure you may lol,how much it helps to have the support of ppl that have been there! ((HUGS))}

[Sleeved&Hopeful 182]

I know how you feel right now! I am supposed to be starting my pre op diet and it sucks. I keep wanting to have "one last meal" before consuming mostly just Protein Shakes, liquids, and Jello. My husband and kids have been eating the most delicious stuff non-stop around me. I can't exactly take my kids favorite foods away so it sucks. I think you are going to be okay once the surgery is over. I'm sorry your husband doesn't want to deal with it but he is going to have to. If he cares aout your health, he will deal with it and be supportive.

[happy1957 138]

I am so happy that you saw a loss and that encouraged you. In defense of your significant other. It is my opinion only, but he is there to support you, not to be the one going through this. It is unfair to throw away his Snacks and try and change his eating habits because you are trying to lose weight and control your life.

It's not his decision to do this also but be beside you as support. Of course he should be unhappy and I'm sure I would be too if I were being punished because of your new rules when I had done nothing but be myself. You will find out very quickly that the only person you can control in the food world is you. You can't watch tv, go to into a store or expect people you work with to follow your new way of life,or get away from the foods you love. The world revolves around food. I think over time your eating habits will change, you'll buy less "naughty" foods etc.

Once you have this surgery you don't even have the cravings or desire to have what you used to. Please remember, you are doing this for YOU, You are in control of only YOU. How would you feel if the only thing you could buy in your favorite restaurant was the one dish you hate? It wouldn't take you very long to move on to another restaurant. So don't force your decision on to the people you love. Support doesn't mean controlling what they eat, but getting encouragement to do what you have decided to do by being there when you need help physically or emotionally. Sometimes a walk outside will change your view for the day. Give the love of your life a break,as I said, after surgery.. you won't even care.

[Puja 148]

Happy, that was very well written. You bring up some very good points!

[AllForMy4 58]

Thank you all for your responses!! =) Happy,I don't want to take his fave foods away,it's just that I know a change when I see one with my hubby,and he NEVER brings this much junk in the house. In 2 days he brought chocolate covered almonds AND raisins,sugar Cookies, 2 diff flavors of ice cream,2 bags of chips, and asked me to make cinnamon rolls!! LOL We had a sit down last night and he apologized and said he kinda was having last meal syndrome as well,feeling like since I'm the one who mainly does the grocery shopping and cooking,that he won't be able to eat anything other than "health" foods anymore. =( We talked it all out and he understands now that he can eat what he wants. My pre-op diet is just a stressful time and as soon as my surgery is over he can have what he wants in here really. It doesn't help to be PMSing and wanting everything chocolate either,but I am fighting the urge now,especially since I was able to vent! Hehe. Problem resolved,tho,and my diet is back on and steady!! =D 3 days till the day! Thanks for your support!

[Dooter 1,457]

Thank you all for your responses!! =) Happy,I don't want to take his fave foods away,it's just that I know a change when I see one with my hubby,and he NEVER brings this much junk in the house. In 2 days he brought chocolate covered almonds AND raisins,sugar Cookies,2 diff flavors of ice cream,2 bags of chips,and asked me to make cinnamon rolls!! LOL We had a sit down last night and he apologized and said he kinda was having last meal syndrome as well,feeling like since I'm the one who mainly does the grocery shopping and cooking,that he won't be able to eat anything other than "health" foods anymore. =( We talked it all out and he understands now that he can eat what he wants. My pre-op diet is just a stressful time and as soon as my surgery is over he can have what he wants in here really. It doesn't help to be PMSing and wanting everything chocolate either,but I am fighting the urge now,especially since I was able to vent! Hehe. Problem resolved,tho,and my diet is back on and steady!! =D 3 days till the day! Thanks for your support!

That's great news. You need the support of your loved ones.