Why Do People Try To Defeat You?

[Paola 62]

I have had my sleeve for little over a week, and the person who started the process for me was my dad. My dad, is also a little overweight, but not much. He works out like mad so he can eat and drink alot, thats the system he has been using for some time now. I don't think thats a healthy lifestyle but I expect he knows that already.

Ever since I started this journey my dad has been telling me that I talk about food too much, that I need to not only operate on my stomach but my head too. He does not understand that to me talking about food does not make me want to go out and binge or cheat because I am committed. Sure in the past I have gone on diets and then stopped and gained it all back, but this is different, I went through surgery knowing that I could have died, so I am 100% committed to this sleeve. It is hard not to talk about food here because that is all people in this house talk about anyways; every Sunday there is a big family dinner and they are not done clearing the table when they are talking about what they will cook next week. That been said, I have been here since July 27, 2011 and I have remained true to my commitment.

Why am I going on and on? Because today my dad told me the I would fail the sleeve because according to him all I do is watch cooking shows. Two days ago I was his hero because of the way I have committed myself to lose weight and surgery and now I am going to fail. I know I am not going to fail, and maybe he didn't mean to make me feel bad, but its so hard to not feel hurt. Moments like this make me just want to go home so bad. Despite what anyone says, I know I will succeed, I have complete faith in Jesus, and this sleeve. So I am going to shake this hurt off, and go drink my broth, cause I have Water to drink and pounds to shed!

[frumpy69 37]

Your not going to fail and maybe cooking is gonna be your passion. your dad was just having a moment you made the right choice for you. You will rock the sleeve. have you actually seen online anyone that has truly failed after being sleeved. I mean im sure they are out there but nobody knows their circumstance. You will do great and continue to do great things keep up the good work and dont let things bother you i know that hurt but i know my dad loves me soo soo much they sometimes just say things the wrong way. have fun on your journey

[Lissa 2,631]

Paola, All I can imagine is that he wants to "encourage" you to stay strong and stick to the path you are now walking. Some people don't know how to express their feelings well, even though they mean well.

BTW, Do you work for a car loan company?

[Ms skinniness 3,003]

Congrats! Your holding tight to your commitment. Your dad is probably feeling alittle threaten and fearful of loosing you. Just keep picturing yourself with this beautiful skinny healthy, glowful body and walking a happy life. He will come around. When the time is right, tell your dad that he really hurt you when he told you that you fail. I like watching cooking shows too so I can learn how to cook much healthier meals for myself and my family. Keep Rockin that Sleeve!

[Lissa 2,631]

I watched cooking shows for the 8 days that I was off work, non-stop. I was fascinated by them for some strange reason. I still like Chopped and things like that, but I'm not watching Paula Deen (too much butter) or Giada (irritates the crap out of me now).

[longer-life 139]

It must be so strange for "outsiders" to see us watching cooking shows and talking about food constantly after having our stomachs cut out. You would think that should be the last thing we want to do! We know it is common, but he doesn't. I think that made him feel scared for you. He probably thinks food still has a stronghold on you. You will prove him wrong and I suspect he will be super happy for you!

[Shells 40]

Paula, my dad is similar as well. I also feel that it's difficult to shut out what they're saying because it's sometimes kind, sometimes cruel. When my dad opens his mouth I wonder what negative bs he has to put his 2 cents on today. Its hard, but it has to be going thru one ear and out the other. And CONGRATS girl, down over 80 pounds!!!!! Way to go, I know for sure you're going to fly with your weight loss! Keep it up hon and dust off your small shoulders k? You're path is strong and your dad ultimately wants you to be healthy- guys just have a weird way of showing it. Specially dads.

[ProudGrammy 8,322]

I have had my sleeve for little over a week, and the person who started the process for me was my dad. My dad, is also a little overweight, but not much. He works out like mad so he can eat and drink alot, thats the system he has been using for some time now. I don't think thats a healthy lifestyle but I expect he knows that already.

Ever since I started this journey my dad has been telling me that I talk about food too much, that I need to not only operate on my stomach but my head too. He does not understand that to me talking about food does not make me want to go out and binge or cheat because I am committed. Sure in the past I have gone on diets and then stopped and gained it all back, but this is different, I went through surgery knowing that I could have died, so I am 100% committed to this sleeve. It is hard not to talk about food here because that is all people in this house talk about anyways; every Sunday there is a big family dinner and they are not done clearing the table when they are talking about what they will cook next week. That been said, I have been here since July 27, 2011 and I have remained true to my commitment.

Why am I going on and on? Because today my dad told me the I would fail the sleeve because according to him all I do is watch cooking shows. Two days ago I was his hero because of the way I have committed myself to lose weight and surgery and now I am going to fail. I know I am not going to fail, and maybe he didn't mean to make me feel bad, but its so hard to not feel hurt. Moments like this make me just want to go home so bad. Despite what anyone says, I know I will succeed, I have complete faith in Jesus, and this sleeve. So I am going to shake this hurt off, and go drink my broth, cause I have Water to drink and pounds to shed!

hi paola

In my opinion you need to talk to your father. He shouldn't talk to you like that, the more you sit there and just listen to him, I think he will just continue to say nasty things.

Stand your ground, i'm not sure what you should say, but basically something like, "i don't appreciate what you are saying to me. Its degrading. I'm handling my weight the way I want, and you shouldn't put me down by saying I won't succeed. I will continue to work hard and i will succeed." I don't know something like that.

I talk a lot about food too, to my DH, he's the only one around so he's stuck listening to me! Unfortunately maybe you shouldn't talk about food that much around your family. If they don't like your song, maybe you have to stop singing.

Good luck to you, I know you'll do great, have a terrific journey

best wishes

kathy

[CCWriter 19]

Here there Paola:

You are going to be fine and so much healthier.

As a food writer and restaurant reviewer, I LOVE food. Not the overeating part, but the fun of exploring new cuisines, the finesse of good ingredients prepared well.

I love the cooking shows as well, and get the biggest kick out of "Chopped." You must use anchovies, lemon Jello, cheese Whiz and blackberry yogurt. The clock starts NOW.

But I will absolutely make my goal. I have NO doubt of this. And after the initial liquid diet and mushies diet, I am going to make the most of the least.

I plan to take my love of cooking good food to make the best, healthiest, most nutritious, tastiest food to fuel my body -- food that anyone would love -- just LESS of it. Just because we have less stomach doesn't mean we can't put good stuff in it and it doesn't have to be fatty to be good. I'm only three weeks out so I have some time to go before my culinary adventures begin, but it's my belief that keeping things from getting boring and tasteless will help me get there. It's all in quality, not quantity.

I think ultimately my goal of making food taste good will make me successful! I get the kernels of some of my best dishes from watching cooking shows, so what's wrong with watching and learning techniques? Hmmmm?

We're going to rock this deal, girlfriend.

Onward!

Carol

[Lissa 2,631]

CC, I love that combination. Some unlucky judge is gonna be eating a salad made with that stuff, right after s/he gags on pudding made of the same thing. They will, however, cut the guy who used it all in an omelette.

[Catracks 865]

Paola, I love to watch cooking shows too and I'm 9 days post surgery. I've been cooking all kinds of Soups for my puree stage and I love the smell of toasting bread and everything else for that matter. I'm just not interested in eating. I think I might have to go on a schedule because it's hard to tell when I'm hungry if at all. I know what full feels like though. I enjoys tastes, but have no cravings -- well the smell of popcorn was tantilizing and I did crave oatmeal the other day. the though of overly rich and/or fried foods turn me off.

Yiur dad just doesn't understand. He should read this thread.

[Paola 62]

Thank you all for your words! I know my dad did not mean to hurt, and I am not letting any negativity hold me down.

@Lissa- I don't work at a car loan company, why?

Today is a great day, I got on the scale and realized I am down 10 lbs =) I can't wait to confirm it in my doctors scale on Tuesday. Who would have thought I would look forward to get on the doctor's scale?

I love my sleeve!!! :biggrin2:

[LindaS 316]

Parents are protective and try to think of the good/bad things and warn their kids. His comment was hurtful, but he probably didn't intend it to be hurtful. He worries about you, and this comes out in his comments.

When I was a teen, I didn't have a weight problem. My mom used to tell me that I didn't eat enough to keep a bird alive. She stopped saying that when I gained weight.

When I started losing weight, she was supportive. She comments about how good I look. Now, though, when I eat in front of her she starts talking about that bird again. She's worried.

My mom has her own food issues. She likes to show her love with food. She likes to cook for family and prefers to pile your plate to overflowing and feed you whenever she can. I have to be careful how I turn down her food offers so that she doesn't feel like I'm turning her and her love down. It's not always an easy tightrope to walk.

[Becca 108]

Some of my family and friends were scared for me to have the sleeve and tried to talk me out of it. It was hurtful because of my lifetime struggle with obesity. I know there were people who thought I would fail, since the lapband didn't work for me. I proved them wrong though and I am almost at my goal. That really is all you can do. Lose the weight and show them you can do this. We will be here to support you. We are the only ones who truly understand what you are going through. This journey is not easy. It is very emotional since you can't cover your feelings up with food anymore. At the same time, it is all worth it!

[DoOver 17]

Hi -

Interesting thread.

About a month ago I re-read some of my old journals. I was amazed at how food-centric they were.

I no longer think about food as much or the same way.

Here's the thing. I think he may be right. There's nothing wrong with considering that it might be

something that changes as you change and it will turn out that a year from now you are not nearly

as consumed by thoughts of food as you are now.

Just possible.

Sometimes we don't see ourselves as others see us. I, for instance, did not really truly see how fat I was.

I knew I was fat, but I didn't see how fat.

But here's the other thing. It's an evolution. It won't happen overnight. But try not too be hard on

him. If I were you I'd just tell him that you trust he wants the best for you and will consider his

advice. Because in a year, you may see exactly what he means.

Just a thought.