Am I Being Ridiculous?

[wondering1 103]

Hi everyone. Please don't jump on me for what I'm about to say. If I'm wrong, let me know tenderly

Yesterday I had a follow up appt with my surgeon. In his waiting room I met this lady who had surgery 3 years ago. She dropped 75 pounds the first year and has stayed there ever since. She is still approximately 50-60 pounds overweight. I did not ask her anything about why she stopped losing weight but she volunteered the information, I guess she felt like she needed to justify something to me. These were her words, "well I just eat whatever now, and don't over do it". "well I knew I was never going to be a model or anything so I'm happy where I am". EXCUSE ME?????

First of all, I'm going to be really pissed if I still haven't made it to goal in 3 years. I'm working very hard to get my weight off and I'm not going to settle for not making it to goal.

Second, she stated "well I knew I'd never be a model". Well why the H*** not??? I might never be employed as a model but I darn sure want to look like one if I have the chance! And the sleeve has given me a chance.

Am I crazy??? or should we be working this thing as hard as we can?? I hope I NEVER settle for anything less that the absolute healthiest and fittest I can be. I hope you all don't either.

[Forensikchic 528]

Amen sister! I have heard these types of self defeating comments before. I think people tend to get complacent. I know in years past when I would lose some weight, I would get tired of it and just maintain that loss and say I was happy there because it was better than where I was before. I wasnt really happy there but I felt defeated because I could never seem to keep up the hard work long enough to get to goal. I would get down to 170 and stop every time. I would be a size 12-14, wear regular clothes and get complacent. Not this time! I did not go through all this to stay at 170. I was 171.4 this morning and I cant wait to break into the 160's! Hell, in about 12 pounds I will be in the 150's and that blows my mind but seems so attainable to me now! Who cant lose 12 pounds? I agree that we all need to work our asses off to get to goal no matter how long it takes and then we can relax a little bit. No rest until you are at goal people! Stay with it and then you will be much happier and healthier when you are maintaining your goal weight, not the weight you were when you stopped to rest and get complacent with your eating. I hope this makes sense. This first year or so is the one that counts that we can get the most from our tool and its a shame to waste a minute of it! We've got this! We can all do it! Find that inner strength and determination and ride it to the end!

[LilMissDiva Irene 3,282]

Well now, I would never "get on anyone" here. That's what this place is for, support - feedback... whatever.

Now to answer your question... yes YOU should always fight to get to YOUR goal. Perhaps she is at HER goal. That's no ones business but hers. According to the BMI charts I'm still over weight. Should I even have to justify why I have no real plans to continue on?

Just do you, don't worry about anyone else. It will make life a lot easier to get through, and someday you will see what I mean. It's all a part of this long long journey. Xoxo

[Ms skinniness 3,003]

Umm, the lady that was talking to you in the waiting room has given us some clues into why she has not loss any further weight. She eats whatever she wants. She's not even trying. Some people have the impression that they can eat whatever they want and not change his/her eating habits. They still eat alot of junk food that has no nutritional balance with hugh amounts of fat and sugar. They just eat smaller amounts. This is sad because they had been given the tools to assist in weight loss but haven't adjusted his/her thinking. In order to get full optimum with weight loss, 3 components have to be meant: decrease in calories, eliminate all unhealthy food choices, and challenge his/her negative thoughts. Oh and there's a 4th: he/she needs to start exercising, even if it's just moving more. That's the reason that people are required to see a nutritionest and a psychiatric eval. So sorry for her, but please embrace yourself and keep eating healthier and challenging all the negative thoughts that come along and you will get to goal.

Irene: You look awesome once again! Keep it up and thank you for all the wonderful encouragement you give to others! Your ROCK!

[Forensikchic 528]

I dont "get on" to people here either... I try to motivate and rally the troops to make the most of their sleeve in the beginning so they will make their personal goal, what ever that may be. We can all do this.

Its obvious to me that the woman did not make it to her personal goal yet or she wouldnt feel the need to explain it all to a perfect stranger in the waiting room. Its pretty obvious to me that when people overexplain, its because they want to try to justify their shortcomings to themselves so they can feel okay about the fact that they didnt try their hardest and stopped trying way before they had gotten to their goal. If this wasnt the case, I think it would have been more like : Hi, Im so and so and I had surgery three years ago and I lost XXX about of pounds! SMILE! It would not be filled with excuses and saying that she didnt want to be a model anyway.... just my two cents.

[LilMissDiva Irene 3,282]

Well now, I would never "get on anyone" here. That's what this place is for, support - feedback... whatever.

Now to answer your question... yes YOU should always fight to get to YOUR goal. Perhaps she is at HER goal. That's no ones business but hers. According to the BMI charts I'm still over weight. Should I even have to justify why I have no real plans to continue on?

Just do you, don't worry about anyone else. :smile1: It will make life a lot easier to get through, and someday you will see what I mean. It's all a part of this long long journey. Xoxo

Sorry I forgot to quote the Original poster... see what I mean?? LOL my quote was direct to and only to the original poster.

[Forensikchic 528]

Sorry about that lilmissdiva... I thought you were saying I was getting on to people. I surely wasnt trying to. We are all in this together, we need to motivate each other. We all have struggles when it comes to weightloss, otherwise we wouldnt be here! Again, I didnt mean to speak out of turn. Have a great day!

[LilMissDiva Irene 3,282]

Sorry about that lilmissdiva... I thought you were saying I was getting on to people. I surely wasnt trying to. We are all in this together, we need to motivate each other. We all have struggles when it comes to weightloss, otherwise we wouldnt be here! Again, I didnt mean to speak out of turn. Have a great day!

Absolutely not, I was not saying that at all. We were drawing up our posts at the same time. I know you are a very supportive person here.

[wondering1 103]

Well now, I would never "get on anyone" here. That's what this place is for, support - feedback... whatever.

Now to answer your question... yes YOU should always fight to get to YOUR goal. Perhaps she is at HER goal. That's no ones business but hers. According to the BMI charts I'm still over weight. Should I even have to justify why I have no real plans to continue on?

Just do you, don't worry about anyone else. :smile1: It will make life a lot easier to get through, and someday you will see what I mean. It's all a part of this long long journey. Xoxo

Diva,

I can totally understand what you're saying. Sure there is some wisdom in just worrying about me... but this woman had NOT made it to her goal. She was settling and it was so obvious. I just want to encourage everyone not to settle and not to give up. I think that as fat or formerly fat people we tend to have self-defeating attitudes like "well I'll never be this or that". My point is we've been given a tool that we CAN be this or that if we work really hard and don't give up or settle. I don't think YOU personally ever have to justify your size or weight. I read another post where you wrote that you have almost the "perfect body" for YOU. You stated you felt pretty good or amazing. I think that's incredible and I just want that for all of us that have gone this journey.

[christin 54]

Debbie-

Everyone has a unique journey and are content at different sizes. That is fine. However, I feel exactly the same as you! I paid a whole bunch of money for this surgery and I didn't do that to settle for anything short of my goal weight! I anticipate that the journey may be a little longer or more difficult than I want it to be, but I don't want to ever lose sight of the finish line. I want to know what it feels like to be a middle aged model too! hehe

[CJinMichigan 14]

I don't have a goal weight. Neither my surgeon or nut. ever mentioned making one and I've decided not to make one because I'll know when I'm where I should be. I've been obese my entire life and have no desire to deprive myself until I get to what some "expert" considers my ideal BMI. My only goal is to get healthy and have a happy life. I had this procedure to help me stop the binge eating and thankfully it works. I am 75 pounds lighter today than I was last June and right now I feel like I want to, and can, lose more. If I'm satisfied and want to stop losing and to begin maintaining at maybe 250 lbs. please be happy for me. Please don't slam someone because they don't have a goal that will make them what some consider to be the perfect weight. We are all individuals and deserve to be treated respectly even when our choices don't match yours.

[Dooter 1,457]

Sweetie, everyone's body is different, and everyone's level of commitment and satisfaction is different. You have some like this woman who says, "eh. it is what it is" and some like Miss Diva who will go down fighting and never settle for mediocrity. If you WANT it, you can HAVE it! I know I'm going to take it! The brain has great power over the body. GO FIGHT WIN!!!!

(p.s....I also am only responding to original poster, not anyone else's post or situation)

[Tlmiller2971 10]

I know I'm not going to be a super model because of the way I'm built and I'm okay with that because my goal is to be healthy. I do think the lady you met is discouraged bor else she wouldn't have felt the need to share all of that. With that being said my PCP, nut, myself and surgeon all agree onederland is where I want to be and that is as far as I have gotten with my goal. If anything use her story to remind you to not let yourself get complacent and don't think of it as anymore than that... Just my opinion.

Tracy

[circa 333]

Frankly, that's just how some people are. They settle for less than what they really want because its easier. She's healthier than she was and that's apparently ok for her. There are those of us who don't settle for walking a little ways in a marathon - we want to cross the finish line with flying colors.

This woman has become complacent in her life, just as she probably did when she gained the weight. We all choose how we react to situations. She has chosen to limit herself.

It is irritating because so many of us have jumped through so many flaming hoops just to get to the point where we can have surgery, we're not going to waste the opportunity that we've EARNED for ourselves. But it is her problem, not yours. You can't help those that don't want to be helped and you can't enlighten those that choose to stick their heads in the sand.

I hope that you someday go back to that office for a followup and you're at your goal and you see her again and then you can say to her that YES, you can meet a goal like that!

Good luck!

[Catracks 865]

I'm not stopping until I hit my goal. 130 is still in the normal range, but the surgeon said 110. I know that is too thin. I was 110 in my 20s and was wraith thin. I don't think it would look good on me - you know, no boobs and no butt like my size 0 Asian friend - God love her.

I think the lady gave up and was making excuses. Why would anyone want to stay obese after all this?