Anyone Ever Lost Friends After Knowing You Were Getting The Surgery?

[WLJourneyJ 89]

My closest friend at first was not happy. But she tries to be supportive which I adore about her. She offered to come with me to mx. ( I went alone earlier this month. I'm day 11) but I know she doesn't agree. I talk about what I'm eating etc. and stuff. ( because it's all new to me and she and Dh and family are all

That knows so i dint realky have many people to

Talk to) and I still get comments sometimes that hurt a little. I know she is trying but I feel like she doesn't think I'll be able to do it or she thinks the surgery only makes your diet cheat proof. I think I'm going to kinda just not talk to her about it much

[Kiki Von Moonshine 53]

Yea, stop talking to her. Shes not being helpful.

[Chuckles 28]

My DH actually told me that if I'd just eat less I wouldn't need this expensive surgery. So' date=' I got him a quote from a funeral home for a full funeral. My medical expenses last year, just in co-pays and out of pocket for docs, were as much as the surgery. Now that I'm down 81 pounds, he's my biggest cheerleader. He's still a jerk and I'm still not living with him, but he's bragging about my weight loss to anyone that will listen, and some that won't, I'm sure! LOL[/quote']

Icant help but love you

[bakawaka 59]

Any of your friends ever got mad' date=' or just plain didn't like the idea you either lost weight or intending on getting the surgery mainly for the reason that you would be smaller in size?[/quote']

I think that it is common. I have not yet had surgery but have told people about it. I made sure to tell te people in the office who gossip to make sure that the word gets around without my having to explain it.

Some relationships we has with others can be based on low self esteem. Losing weight increases self esteem. Those relationships in which we have played the subordinate role inevitably will be affected by the weight loss. Improving your health means increasing personal power. It is a form of self actualization. So some people will be disturbed by our self improvement. But remember also that new relationships can enter our life.

I have found that any kind of self improvement - getting a degree, getting an award, getting a promotion for hard work, increased knowledge - changes relationships. All I can say is that one must flow with the change.

I do find that other obese persons (I am obese and that is why I want the surgery) seem uncomfortable about my decision. It takes courage to lose weight - by whatever methods followed to do so - and to keep it off (that has always been my challenge).

Some people are more comfortable with us being obese because it is perceived as a situation lacking power.

This is my opinion and observation.

Most people at work are neither our friends nor our enemies and their opinions should not be considered significant, in my opinion.

[bakawaka 59]

No' date=' I have heard about how I'm not big enough for the surgery. All I have to do is diet. That was frustrating. If I could do that, I wouldn't have all the weight I had. I just try to remind myself that if my friends have a problem with my weight loss, then that's their issue, not mine. <img src='http://www.bariatricpal.com/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/wink.png' class='bbc_emoticon' alt='' />[/quote']

I hear the "you are not fat enough for surgery" comment all the time. It is annoying. I return the comment with detailed information about the success statistics, how the FDA has approved it for lower BMI's, etc. quiet resolve shuts down those silly comments.

[bakawaka 59]

A friend of mine got pretty upset and at times has made comments about how it is easy' date=' which it is not. And I do remind this person that major surgery and the risks involved and the crappy feelings after ward are not easy. The initial reaction from this person was similar to my reaction...shock and not a positive feeling. That was how I first reacted to the suggestion of this.

I think it is a common thing for people to think negatively. I am very controlled in who I talk to about this. It is my business first off, and no one elses. The most important people in my life are the ones who know.[/quote']

I frequently hear people say that surgery is the easy way out. Of course, this is ignorance. But we can always respond to people who make such comments with the following: "it is so easy that you, too, should try it-here is my surgeon's contact information."

[MissMistyC 18]

Quite honestly, I've only told the people closest to me that I KNEW would be supportive that I had this surgery. As for the rest...hate on haters.

[Smoggy 152]

I have a very old friend who is a runner and health nut. He has always been lean. Whenever I have lost weight he has admitted he finds me hot which just made me furious. Just recently he was talking about a friend's Mom who lost a lot of weight with Lapland surgery. He was really disparaging and said she cheated and that he thought she had butchered herself for vanity's sake. I was appalled and argued with him that her circumstances were personal and who are we to judge. Needless to say he is someone I have NOT stayed friends with him and it is because of judgmental shallow people in my home town like him that have made me decide to keep my surgery to myself.

[gmanbat 5,889]

You know when you are out walking, enjoying yourself, and suddenly a vile odor hits your nose? You look around, smell your shirt, and puzzle a while. Then you think to look on the bottom of your Nikes and there it is; nestled in the treads is evidence that someone didn't clean up after Bowzer.

You make your way back home and wash off the doo under the outside faucet, thankful that the stench wasn't a permanent fixture.

It makes me think of stupid opinions. They stink up your life until you realize what they are and wash them away with intelligence. Then you give serious thought to avoiding those that leave caca in their wake.

[PEvette 297]

You know when you are out walking, enjoying yourself, and suddenly a vile odor hits your nose? You look around, smell your shirt, and puzzle a while. Then you think to look on the bottom of your Nikes and there it is; nestled in the treads is evidence that someone didn't clean up after Bowzer.

You make your way back home and wash off the doo under the outside faucet, thankful that the stench wasn't a permanent fixture.

It makes me think of stupid opinions. They stink up your life until you realize what they are and wash them away with intelligence. Then you give serious thought to avoiding those that leave caca in their wake.

Love it! so true...that's why I dont like the outdoors....LOL...

Iremember watching a reality show (forgot which one) and a woman on it said "opinions are like assholes, everyone has one" when I heard that, I was like, uh yeah, I'm gonna use that!

[thinmymind 107]

I have one friend that all we seem to talk about is dieting. When I first began to think about WLS, I asked her if she had ever thought of it. She quickly responded with no, so I never discussed it with her further. When I got back from Mexico, I told her, because I thought it would be great for her.

Initially, she was floored and seemed happy for me. She said she wouldn't do it, but said it got her inspired to do better with her diet. As I started dropping the weight quickly, she began to want to learn more. I tried to let her know what I know because she wouldn't do any research on her own.

Something happened with her and I am not sure what, but she began attacking me. I had to cut my contact with her. I need support right now, not attacking.

Before all of that, I made the mistake of adding her in a secret group on Facebook, thinking it would help her to read the things other people were saying. Now she is attacking me in that group as well.

I hope she is able to work through whatever is going on in her head.

[KS Fort Worth 86]

My older brother is mostly supportive, but has said "if you simply ate less..."

He has need complaining occasionally for about a year of wanting to lose 20-30 pounds.

If HE can't lose a mere 20, what makes him think I can simply drop one HUNDRED and twenty?

[Smoggy 152]

You know when you are out walking' date=' enjoying yourself, and suddenly a vile odor hits your nose? You look around, smell your shirt, and puzzle a while. Then you think to look on the bottom of your Nikes and there it is; nestled in the treads is evidence that someone didn't clean up after Bowzer.

You make your way back home and wash off the doo under the outside faucet, thankful that the stench wasn't a permanent fixture.

It makes me think of stupid opinions. They stink up your life until you realize what they are and wash them away with intelligence. Then you give serious thought to avoiding those that leave caca in their wake.[/quote']

I'm SO with you on this....

[Frza 194]

I was planning to discuss my plans with a friend at lunch yesterday but I chickened out. She takes a very holistic approach to everything and I am worried that she will judge me / attempt to dissuade me. After lunch I regretted not telling her. I plan to see her again this weekend and will bring it up then.

[fat yes ugly no 6]

Sadly i have to say yes! Listen to this sh*t: My best friend of ten years ( we are 24 n in college now) is also overweight. At her heaviest she weighed 260 and I 285. She always looked smaller than i because her bottom half is noticeably tinier than her top half ( i use to call her small bottoms as a term of endearment . it never bothered her) we both looked into the surgery together as for we work in the same place for the last 7 years and have the same insurance. She decided it wasn’t for her and I opted to get it done. She said she would be there for me and take care of me after the surgery. ( I live alone and have no family) she didn’t I had to ask a male friend to take care of me last minute and when I asked her to pick up my pain meds it took her forever bc she was WALKING THE TRACK! Lol she hadn’t worked out in forever but **** got real for her after my surgery and hey whatever motivates her to lose weight but couldn’t she drop off my pain meds first! I was there through her divorce in ways that no one has ever been there for me.

I work in an office of 6 women including myself. Out of those six women only one is thin. She and another fat coworker got together with my boss to tell her that I could only talk about my weight loss and that I have changed and am a mean person. Now I have always been sarcastic and made all kinds of jokes including fat ones. I did this at 285 lbs now that I’m 171 my jokes r rude and I am conceded. (How convenient) To top it all off my boss is very immature and like the gossip of the office and people are easily put on her **** list (a list u would rather be fired than put on) needless to say I am on the **** list!

When I approached her about why we growing distant she said “you don’t even compliment me on my 15 lbs loss. (really! I lost 70lbs and not a peep) l I told her why did she feel like she needed my compliment as affirmations when she couldn’t even mention or be happy for me that I was now wearing jeans ( I stopped wearing jeans when hit a size 24)

I have lost 115 lbs but it came at the cost of losing my best friend. I would do it a million times over! J