A New Pressing Issue..

[yecats 109]

About 6 mo. ago when I was conteplating being sleeved. I opened my big mouth to a co worker, who had become a friend,about wanting to go to MX for WLS. Besides her, I work with a lot of women who stand around and gossip about each other. Very hateful and mean spirited. Well, the friend I did confide in, is also a biggggg girl. I thought she would react quite nicely.

To my surprise it was the exact oppisite. She said "What are you crazy? You do not need that, that is the easy way out, they will end up screwing you all up", it doesn't work anyway, on and on. BIG MISTAKE!!!

At that very moment I decided not to share it with anyone else. I really thought she would be more supportive. I tried to explain that it was not a by pass but she did not want to hear it. It was strange I got the feeling like.... she was either jealous or felt inferior or intimidated. She actually treated me differently for a few days, going on and on about it, (quietly I in my ear), until I told her there was know way I could do it anyway for I did not have the $'s.

Work became so uncomfortable during that time. She would ignore me unless she would say something pertaining to that subject. She showed a total different side of herself to me.

I forgot to mention, she is not my boss but she is in a leadership position, like management but with out the power to hire and fire. She can make my job easy or very difficult. Other than this issue, I look up to her, think she is a wonderful gal. She is the go to person and is highly regarded in her position. I respect her tremendously. I truly want no hard feelings. I would hate for our relationship to change.

Now I have a sleeve date, Feb. 4th. I have not told my boss yet either, due of this issue. I have not dealt with even scheduling the time off. She will outright ask him and as soon as he says I can not discuss this with you then she will know.

How would you handle the friend/ coworker lady and telling the boss?

I must say I do trust her not to run her mouth. Yet I do not want her attitude, concerning it. I had a taste of it. My job is very physical. I plan on taking 6 weeks off. I do not see that as a problem. I truly did not expect to have the money available so soon to go, so this kind of came about quicker than expected. I dread going back to work, smaller and having to lie or be treated differently.

[koriswlj 66]

I think that either way they are gonna find out .... If she (the lead) is already acting weird and its an office of gossipers whats to say she wont blab when you go on leave... Not to sound negative... but be confident in your decision and be excited for this great journey!! Tell your boss right away so that he is not

Bombarded at the last minute... When you come back and your losing weight and feeling great... people pick up on that and may even change their tune if you know what I mean. Sorry if this is one big run-on typed from my phone.

[Sleeved&Hopeful 182]

This is just an awkward situation. My cousin's wife went to Mexico to get surgery and she actually went on a co worker's recommendation because of her experience in mexico. No one gave her a hard time. I am sure that the lady just may feel somewhat insecure because she will likely still be large and you will not. That can make people feel insecure. I feel bad for her in a way but she shouldn't take it out on you. You deserve to be supported in a sensitive time like this. Losing weight drastically is an emotional process. I think you should sit and talk to her and tell her that you need positive support during this time and the decision has already been made. Tell her you thank her for her concern but if she has nothing nice to say, do not say it at all because it could affect your recovery. If she respects you at all, she will listen to you an do as you ask. If she is not going to be supportive, just hold your head up high and smile. The best revenge is living well. Or maybe the best idea is just not to bring it up to her at all if she continues to be rude. I wish you the best.

[Amanda 3.0 140]

I don't know why this lady should have such strong feelings about your surgery. It has nothing to do with her. Unless, like mentioned, she is just feeling sour because you won't be overweight with her anymore. And we all know that it is no fun being the only overweight person.

I wouldn't discuss it with her anymore. As management, she should know better than to discuss your personal health circumstances with the others. It's really none of her business anyway.