I Definitely Regret Surgery.... So Far!

[jasleeve 440]

it took me a long time to come out with how i was feeling about surgery at first prior to my leak. im on the site all the time and every minute of everyday, i wanted to get on here & start this thread. it took me days & it was all i could think of so it felt like eternity. even went as far as typing everything & then saying nvm & never posted it. i have a video vlog & i wanted to be that person that posted twice weekly if possible & tell my hospital story & etc!

BUT i cant do it. im almost 7weeks out from surgery & my last update on my youtube vlog was me coming out of surgery! ppl send me messages & i never respond. i think i feel so much hate that i have nothing nice to say but its easier to write than talk about it which is why i cant bring myself to do an update video.

When i was going through my own complications,,I had a leak too..I tried to keep on the down low. I knew at that time that my opinion would be harsh where the sleeve was concerned so I only gave updates instead of giving my opinion of the sleeve. I am slowly beginning to feel better,,still have a few issues but with time, I think it will all pass and I will be very happy with my decision. I didn't want to sway people from making a life changing decision by bashing the surgery. It may have its problems but I think for the most part it is a great thing. It's like if you have cancer,,,chemo has side effects,,horrible ones but one may go through without because of it being a last resort and desperation for healing. I think the sleeve is not the same but similar to certain extent.

[peacequeen 434]

jasleeve,,I am so sorry for all you are going through,,I really can relate. I think the best thing I could do for myself was stay confident and think very positive and keep faith. It really made a difference for my healing. I had my bad days,,my husband saw the evil in me.lol But I could't post negative till I seen the positive that could come from this.

[jasleeve 440]

i dont mind people making up their minds. i would never go to someone and say "im telling you, dont do it!!!" i can only give my advice & say i dont recommend it. thats all i can do. i know a lot of ppl (in person) who have had the surgery & living life on cloud 9. i only know one other person (in person) who is having complications... far worse than mine. with all that said & done, i can only voice my opinion & pray it doesnt happen to others.

hi jasleeve, i have been reeding your journey since you first started talked about getting your sleeve and how excited you were. Most people feel like that before their surgery and are happy with their success.

I feel so very terrible for everything you have endured. Nobody deserves to go through your horrifying experience and i hope you will be on the mend sooner than later. You have told the awful stories, trials and tribulations of your journy. that being said....

luckily, the majority of sleevers don't go through these problems - telling about your horrific stories is understandable. Telling the story of your journey is welcome. My husband says "it helps provide balance since some patients do have severe side effects." I think he is right that all journeys have a story to tell.

Please do not stop telling your story. We want to hear your "diary." I have to temper this with a hope and a prayer that you can find it in your heart to allow people to make up their own minds.

kathy

[jasleeve 440]

i can understand that.. but i think thats the issue. we only talk about the good. no one wants to "complain" or sound "ungrateful" because thats how i felt prior to making this thread but maybe had someone been more like me... maybe i wouldve prepared myself more for a possible leak. even if it were just financially... but i coulda still been more prepared than now. i also wouldve asked a lot more questions about the stent. the stent is nothing of what i thought it was!

jasleeve,,I am so sorry for all you are going through,,I really can relate. I think the best thing I could do for myself was stay confident and think very positive and keep faith. It really made a difference for my healing. I had my bad days,,my husband saw the evil in me.lol But I could't post negative till I seen the positive that could come from this.

[savinggrace 6]

Reading this does remind me of a dark time I had in the hospital after the second surgery. I woke up, and literally felt like I was a machine or better put like the tin man on the wizard of oz. All I need is a little oil and I am good to go. My mind raced with crazy thoughts laying in the bed alone feeling completely empty. I basically had to shake myself and say hello sister, you did it, now work with it. I still occasionally have thoughts like that. I don't really talk about them much though. One of the main reasons I am here even if I don't post, reading always gives me a push in the right direction. Yes, I have bad days, but I also have good ones, the ones *I* try to focus on. Hang in there.

[jasleeve 440]

today i am having a better day & im terrified to jinx it! ill talk more about it tomorrow

Reading this does remind me of a dark time I had in the hospital after the second surgery. I woke up, and literally felt like I was a machine or better put like the tin man on the wizard of oz. All I need is a little oil and I am good to go. My mind raced with crazy thoughts laying in the bed alone feeling completely empty. I basically had to shake myself and say hello sister, you did it, now work with it. I still occasionally have thoughts like that. I don't really talk about them much though. One of the main reasons I am here even if I don't post, reading always gives me a push in the right direction. Yes, I have bad days, but I also have good ones, the ones *I* try to focus on. Hang in there.

[MeMeMEEE 206]

I agree about the vlog thing. I searched and searched for people with leaks who had vlogs and there are very few. I hadn't posted one since before surgery, all excited with my date, showing all the goodies I went and bought. Hard to follow that with how week and tired you are and then later to follow with the leak story. I finally did one just a few weeks ago I think. I don't know, maybe I will do another when I get to goal or something, just not feeling it right now. My leak is healed, no pains or problems, but every weird twinge or sound and I worry, is that a new leak? Is it back? Paranoid! Eek!

You know what gets me? I didn't ask about leaks when I met my surgeon, I just wanted to know about death. I mean THAT is a serious complication right? Never occured to me a leak was so serious I guess, just didn't seem important to know at the time. Boy, wish I had!!

it took me a long time to come out with how i was feeling about surgery at first prior to my leak. im on the site all the time and every minute of everyday, i wanted to get on here & start this thread. it took me days & it was all i could think of so it felt like eternity. even went as far as typing everything & then saying nvm & never posted it. i have a video vlog & i wanted to be that person that posted twice weekly if possible & tell my hospital story & etc!

BUT i cant do it. im almost 7weeks out from surgery & my last update on my youtube vlog was me coming out of surgery! ppl send me messages & i never respond. i think i feel so much hate that i have nothing nice to say but its easier to write than talk about it which is why i cant bring myself to do an update video.

[jasleeve 440]

i think i found one vlog about a leak! she had to be revised to bypass after 2 or 3 failed attempts with the stent. she looked like she was standing on her last leg before kicking the bucket! she scared the daylights out of me!!! but of course when i told my mom or ppl that know about surgery, they all called me negative & told me it wont happen to me & i need to stop searching! yeah well, so much they knew because look at me now!!! i asked my nurse practioner & her answer was "u dont have to worry about a leak but if there were one, we would place a stent to cover the leak up until it heals & then everything will keep looking up". never ever ever ever ever did they go into detail about how its done, the pain, nothing! matter fact, i thought the stent was a pain free procedure UNTIL waking up in recovery from the procedure! then my gi dr didnt wanna give me pain meds!! he told me to give it a few hrs until i adjust! he didnt give me pain meds until i began crying hysterically!!! mind u, i was throwing up excessively! smh horrible horrible horrible!!!!!!!!!!! horrible!!!! just nightmare! smh! i think they need to go thru all the complications as if they were trying to sway ppl from surgery! in detail. thisway ppl grasp it! they emphasize all the good but no bad.

I agree about the vlog thing. I searched and searched for people with leaks who had vlogs and there are very few. I hadn't posted one since before surgery, all excited with my date, showing all the goodies I went and bought. Hard to follow that with how week and tired you are and then later to follow with the leak story. I finally did one just a few weeks ago I think. I don't know, maybe I will do another when I get to goal or something, just not feeling it right now. My leak is healed, no pains or problems, but every weird twinge or sound and I worry, is that a new leak? Is it back? Paranoid! Eek!

You know what gets me? I didn't ask about leaks when I met my surgeon, I just wanted to know about death. I mean THAT is a serious complication right? Never occured to me a leak was so serious I guess, just didn't seem important to know at the time. Boy, wish I had!!

[MeMeMEEE 206]

I just keep praying your stent stays in place, works and works FAST!!!

[jasleeve 440]

well i had a swallow test done on thursday & its in place thank god & is working as it should be working! i dont think it will slip or can from where it is now. atleast i hope not!!!

I just keep praying your stent stays in place, works and works FAST!!!

[Caliblonde 25]

I think the reason you hear more about the good and not so much about the bad is because the majority of people don't have complications. That's not to say that complications don't happen...it's a surgery and there are always risks and things that can happen. If you're feeling horrible after your surgery and most of the other people around you are having a great experience there is probably something wrong and it needs to be taken care of.

[jasleeve 440]

they say 1 in 100 have leaks. if thats the case, there should be more. i think ppl who have leaks are too down to speak on it. i know i felt that way

I think the reason you hear more about the good and not so much about the bad is because the majority of people don't have complications. That's not to say that complications don't happen...it's a surgery and there are always risks and things that can happen. If you're feeling horrible after your surgery and most of the other people around you are having a great experience there is probably something wrong and it needs to be taken care of.

[MeMeMEEE 206]

I try my best to tell people who aren't feeling right to speak with their Dr and push until they are satisfied with their answer and care - I listened to too many people - here, on Facebook, even my NUT - say oh drink your Protein, take your Vitamins, it gets better soon, etc. I should have pushed harder a whole lot sooner, I knew something wasn't right but people made me feel like I was being a baby.

I think the reason you hear more about the good and not so much about the bad is because the majority of people don't have complications. That's not to say that complications don't happen...it's a surgery and there are always risks and things that can happen. If you're feeling horrible after your surgery and most of the other people around you are having a great experience there is probably something wrong and it needs to be taken care of.

[lunarose 97]

I think leaks occur in a little less then 1% and a leak that happens after the first two weeks the percentage is even smaller so I think their voices get lost. I think there should be a sticky thread on leaks especially since recovery from a leak does take so long and is that much harder. The good news is that everyone I have "met" that have had a leak do get better.

[jasleeve 440]

its funny u say that. with not feeling good, it felt like everyone was like "youre not feeling good.. ok. deal with it." they all made me feel like i was a big baby & all i do is complain or have negative things to say. smh! ridiculous!!!

im glad you & i can relate so well.

right now, im having a hard time getting in all my fluids and eating. im barely eating because my stomach is like on a wave! it feels hungry but the thought of eating makes me want to gag. so im trying to get my calories in through liquids. i had a bite or two of rice for dinner & it sat well.

I try my best to tell people who aren't feeling right to speak with their Dr and push until they are satisfied with their answer and care - I listened to too many people - here, on Facebook, even my NUT - say oh drink your Protein, take your Vitamins, it gets better soon, etc. I should have pushed harder a whole lot sooner, I knew something wasn't right but people made me feel like I was being a baby.