How Many Experience This From Their Husbands..

[circa 333]

I'm so very glad you told your husband how it made you feel - its extremely possible that he didn't realize it. Some people are ignorant to the fact that words can hurt a person, especially if that person has never been treated that way themselves. I'm a firm believer that we teach people how to treat us, and by not standing up for ourselves, we're telling someone its okay and acceptable to perhaps say words that may hurt, even if they think its a joke. To us it may not be, but unless we say something, we ARE condoning it. I hope that he does accept what you said and take it to heart - same with your kids. Command the respect you deserve. It sounds like you took a big first step.

However, if he refuses to change his behaviour, find your security in yourself - not in him, or in a rule that some old white men made up years ago - God never said you couldn't take care of yourself emotionally. Some guy did. God never meant for a woman to be abused in any manner in her marriage - an abuser breaks the marriage vows. I know it can be hard to come to terms with, but I think God would want a woman to protect herself and her children.

[oogie821 2]

I have been in your shoes. In fact a similar boat incident. We were out with all five of our kids, something broke in the shaft of the boat motor and we sat there. The wind was blowing hard and pushing across Lake Pepin. We tried to paddle against the wind but it was fruitless. My husband, I have since divorced him, so ex-husband was yelling at me and cussing me out. He was mad because I couldn't conger up super human strength to paddle a boat, with 7 people in it, against the wind. He said the most horrible things like "paddle you f******g fat b***h!" and "you're so f*****g stupid and useless". This was one of the millions of horrible things he said to me over the four years we were together. Also, I knew of his behaviors within one year of being together but I still married him. UGH! Eventually I found help through our local women's advocate program and got out. However, when I was with him I ate alot to try to drown the emotional pain with a food high. Didn't work, just got fatter and fatter. When I did finally leave him, I dropped 35lbs just from the stress. I followed that crappy relationship with more crappy relationships but I kept going to therapy. Eventually my therapist and I worked through my issues. Now I am happily married to a wonderful man. We married about a year and half ago. We met on Match.com. He has said some dumb comments without thinking but it's not out of meaness...it's just he didn't think how that comment could be taken in a negative way. He also suffers from obesity and is fighting his own demons about it. I am hear to tell you to get help. Get out of the relationship safely. Use your local women's advocate group to educate yourself. When you're ready, you will move on. I just know it. I knew it when I took that step towards leaving. It was scarey but I had support and I did it only because I had support. You deserve better, alot better! I didn't believe it before and you probably don't either....but you do deserve better. In a year from your surgery, I would love to hear you tell me that you didn't care what he thought of your weightloss and that you are just glad to be divorced from him.

Best wishes.

[Melly 0]

trust me, if you're not happy, your kids won't be happy. You deserve to be treated with respect. I was in a verbal and physical abusive relationship for years and made excuses for him when he didn't deserve it. I too was afraid to leave him because of my son, but trust me it was the best decision I have ever made in my life. It was hard, but I'm happy now with someone that does respect and love me the way that I deserve to be. Get skinny and leave HIM!

[adamsmom 4]

If you allow a man to speak to you like that in front of your children, how do you think they will treat their wives when they grow up? How do you think they will let their husbands treat them if they are girls? You are showing them that this is how adult relationships are supposed to be. Is this what you want for your children? I don't know your financial situation, but I think you should get as far away from that marriage as you can. Yes, kids need two LOVING parents who MODEL RESPECT. Your children aren't getting that in your home. They will do much better with one happy parent than two miserable ones.

[yecats 109]

Today is Sunshine's Mom surgery. Keep her in your thoughts and prayers!

[Dooter 1,457]

Today is Sunshine's Mom surgery. Keep her in your thoughts and prayers! :smile1:

WILL DO!!!