I Have My Date, Still No Suport From My Family.

[Punkypoo 9]

I will support you! I am sure I speak for everyone here. I will also be joining you soon. I will have the surgery end of Janurary 2012. Good luck with your journey!

Punky

[Starting Out 0]

I told everyone I knew that I was having surgery and let the chips fall where they may. One of my friends didn't like it and wouldn't discuss it or listen to me talk about the surgery. She is no longer a friend, just an aquaintance now. My best friend - said she wants me to be happy and healthy and if this is what I need to do - she is with me all the way. My mother hates fat people so she supported me fully. My sister can't have surgery for health reasons so she is mad at me for having it and said a lot of bad things about elective surgery. Now 3 weeks after surgery and 26 pounds lost - the same people who disagreed with the surgery aren't happy about my weight loss either. Those who love me are happy for me but most important of all I am happy with myself!

[ProudGrammy 8,322]

So sorry to hear that you are not getting any support from your family. One reason I think that men get less support from their families is that it is more acceptable in our society for a man to be overweight than a woman. I know this to be true as I am also a man and people could not really understand why I decided to have the sleeve. They thought that I looked just fine. Well their looking fine and mine were very different. I was not so much how I looked but it was how I felt and the medical problems that I was beginning to have. I had hypertension and was taking 2 medications, I had some mild depression which I blame some on my weight and being unhappy and I was also becoming prediabetic with my blood sugars starting to rise. I wanted to get healthy and to enjoy my life and live longer that I anticipate that I would have if I had not had the surgery. I am 56 and just had my sleeve on Dec 11 in Tijuana by Dr F Garcia as my insurance would not pay for it here in the US. I did a lot of research on doctors and decided on Dr Garcia. I work in the healthcare field and I was very impressed with all of the medical professionals that I encountered and I was extremely happy at how clean and new the hospital was. I know lots of people that go in here and come out with MRSA. I would not be afraid to go back to Tijuana for any other surgery.

andersonlj

You are correct when you say that is more acceptable for men to be overweight than women. That's quite a double standard isn't it?

It's not that its good for a man to be overweight, but as far as appearance goes, more people are overly conscious of a womens weight than a mans weight.

A women, well every one might "stare" more at her due to the supposedly good appearance that a women is supposed to have. But even though a man might be overweight, it is more accepted like you said. I don't think i said it any different than you, i guess i just agree with what you said. Good or bad.

Your DOS was about one week after mine. Good luck to both of us on our journey

kathy

[BunnyLove 28]

Candyman, you have a huge "family" here that will support you all the way! I didn't find this site until two weeks after my surgery, but I wish I'd found it sooner. My husband really fought me over this for a long time, insisting that I do this the "natural" way even though he'd watched me struggle for two decades. I had cancer several years ago and went through a lot, and after all my surgeries, he was really upset that I'd choose to have an "unnecessary" procedure.

He finally resigned himself to it, and everyone else in my family has been supportive. Now that I've lost enough weight that he can tell, and I'm not in pain anymore, my husband has really come around. He's no longer worried and has become excited for me, and is talking about the things we'll be able to do that I was unable to do before.

Your loved ones may surprise you the same way, so come here for support and just wait to see how many positive improvements will come about once your life starts changing for the better. After all, if you're a happier person, the people around you will change, too. Good luck!!

[Christy Dawson 0]

Hey there.. I understand.. My family is not supportive of me going to Mexico or having the surgery. Everyone says I dont need it.. But if I have a MBI of morbidly obesity, then its obvious that I do need it. Silly People..

Good Luck!! My surgery is March 20th.. So I am getting really excited as well..

[Punkypoo 9]

Good luck to those who do not have support... you will have it here! I am 10 days post op already . Cant wait to really see the progress. SO far lost about 5 or 7 pounds.

[Writergirl 230]

I think it must be so painful to make this decision without family support. One thing to consider is that the people in your life might be afraid of how things will change for THEM after you have the surgery. My husband has been my dining companion for over 30 years. We were eating out 5 times a week. During the decision process, I talked to him many times about how things would change for both of us, and I asked him to be part of my decision, knowing it would affect him a lot. Our discussions didn't just center around food, though. We talked about all the ways my life has been difficult, how our life expectancies are affected by unhealthy eating, all the things we want to do that we can't now because of my weight. By the time surgery came, we were both more excited about the possibility for positive change than we were upset over anticipation of the end of big buffet eating. So, maybe it would be helpful to engage your immediate family members in discussion about their fears and expectations, and maybe they'll start to come around. Good luck, and if you don't find support at home, you'll certainly find it here!