I Have My Date, Still No Suport From My Family.

[Candyman 38]

April 10th with Dr Kelly. I'm not excited like I thought I would be. I think It would be better if my family would suport me. I'm waiting on Trish to send me the deposit info.

[Lissa 2,631]

Yay!! I'm so glad you have a date!! Hopefully this will give your family time to accept your decision. Even if they don't before surgery, once they see your better health and weight loss, they will come around!!!

Good luck on your journey!! BTW, I have read great things about Dr Kelly!!!!!

Lissa

[frumpynomore 204]

THE SURGERY IS FOR Y-O-U! I know you would love your family's support but it's a personal decision. I didn't give my family a choice in the matter. Now that I'm 3 weeks post-op my family is very supportive. Yours will be to when they see you losing weight and grow to understand that you are doing it to be healthier and to be around longer for them. Hang in there....they will come around. GOOD LUCK!

[FlawedMan 6]

Glad you have your date, sorry the family is not supporting you.

Have the family read some of the success stories on this board. (print them out if need be). That should help bring them around.

FM

[spiritstalkergoddess 14]

Congrats on your date I am also waiting for my deposit info from Trish , I am going March 1st. Good luck and I bet your family will come around mine is still not sure about me going to Mexico, but I know this is the right choice for me and that is all that matters!

[Dooter 1,457]

We support you!! We're excited for you!! WOO HOO!!! I've got a couple of downers around me too. It's hard to make them understand. Just come here when you need some happy!!!

I just shared my surgery date with 2 close friends. One of them, bless his heart, he's concerned- told me how if you burn more calories than you take in that you will lose weight. And that heart issues need to be dealt with. Anyone reading this right now is either laughing hysterically, or shaking the head with eyes rolling. He did, then say he is supportive of the decision, but still....it really rains on the parade.

I'm going on February 13, 2012- Dr. Kim in Dallas

So, again- WE know basically what you're going through and are happy and excited for you!

[Who's That Girl 5]

first off - congratulations on your decision. I'm right there with you. The only support that i have comes from the few friends at work that have had or will be having WLS and this forum. I have offered for family members to attend support group meetings, come with me to my doctor and even check out the forums. I have been shut down on every level.

Personally, I think It is the fear of the unknown or possibly losing their loved one but if they don't take the time to become educated the fear only intensifies. The WLS surgery methods have advanced so much over the years it's probably safer now than it was before. I'd be lying if i said i wasn't scared or nervous - I am terrified of all surgeries and the fear of not coming out once I go in. I'm terrified of doing everything correctly post surgery. I've had nights where i wake up at 4:00 a.m. and second guess myself but I know it's the fear...

With that said, since I'm already scared and nervous, the last thing i want is to hear negative comments and be given a tongue lashing because someone doesn't agree with a decision i've made. I don't bring the subject up anymore and if anyone else does I don't have a problem telling them to keep their comments and opinions to themselves. I welcome an intelligent discussion but will not entertain any negativity. I can do that on my own an want to keep my head clear of any unnecessary clutter.

Hopefully your family (and mine) will get behind us 100% but if not, oh well. You have to do what is best for you. For me, I wish it was as simple as diet & exercising an being able to keep the weight off without WLS but I have tried and have had no success. I am addicted to food and I see this as a tool to do something that i haven't been able to do on my own. we are all in this thing together and will come out so much better on the other side...

I will continue to pray and put everything in the hands of GOD and know that he will guide me through this. I know he has bigger plans for me...

[Beckyboo 1]

I personally did not get super excited till a week after I got my date. I think it just needed to sink in. Congrat's to you for doing this for yourself! They will come around.

[ProudGrammy 8,322]

hi candyman

its so exciting you got a surgery date. It feels so great to know when your journey is going to start.

I didn't really have anyone special to tell about the WLS. I eventually told my mom and 4 siblings. My mom has always "reminded" me that i was overweight etc.ince i was an adult she would always give me a WW cupcake w/a candle for my b'day. How horrible was that!

Anyways, when i told mom about the surgery, she was so excited. She basically said, how wonderful, you will finally be thin!!! I'm visiting her in a week or so, and she told me she was so excited to see me thin. i told her it doesn't happen overnight! (i'll be 5 wks. post-op.)

My siblings were happy for me, but not enough to call me post surgery, but they were happy that "I was happy"

I don't have any friends to talk w/about this, so i'm kindof just standing in the middle of the room turning around in a circle. now, now, don't feel sorry for me - I still have my DH and he's a good egg and supportive.

i'm making a short story oh so long.

I agree with FlawedMan that you should show some success stories to your family, Hopefully they will come around.

Remember, the whole board is totally behind you. Before you know it April 10th will be here and your journey will begin.

Take care my friend

kathy

[CCWriter 19]

Congrats Candyman ...

My husband was extremely nervous and even talked about kidnapping me from the parking lot of the hospital on the morning (Dec. 27) I had surgery. He didn't, however, and I'm so glad he didn't. Can you imagine what kind of issues we would have had if he'd done that?

He seems to be coming around really fantastically ... I blogged about it at Takin' A Load Off, and it's been great.

You have a great adventure in front of you. Enjoy it!!

CC

[andersonlj 32]

So sorry to hear that you are not getting any support from your family. One reason I think that men get less support from their families is that it is more acceptable in our society for a man to be overweight than a woman. I know this to be true as I am also a man and people could not really understand why I decided to have the sleeve. They thought that I looked just fine. Well their looking fine and mine were very different. I was not so much how I looked but it was how I felt and the medical problems that I was beginning to have. I had hypertension and was taking 2 medications, I had some mild depression which I blame some on my weight and being unhappy and I was also becoming prediabetic with my blood sugars starting to rise. I wanted to get healthy and to enjoy my life and live longer that I anticipate that I would have if I had not had the surgery. I am 56 and just had my sleeve on Dec 11 in Tijuana by Dr F Garcia as my insurance would not pay for it here in the US. I did a lot of research on doctors and decided on Dr Garcia. I work in the healthcare field and I was very impressed with all of the medical professionals that I encountered and I was extremely happy at how clean and new the hospital was. I know lots of people that go in here and come out with MRSA. I would not be afraid to go back to Tijuana for any other surgery.

[Candyman 38]

Boy, I'm getting all emotional read all your post and the support you have for me.Thank you and I know I'm doing the right think.

[andersonlj 32]

Just remember that you are a special person and nobody's opinion matter but yours at this time in your life.

[SrHogan 6]

I haven't told any of my family either. The only ones who know are my husband mother and my best friend who is getting the surgery as well. I want to tell them so bad but afraid they won't be supportive. They say I need to lose weight I'm just afraid they would say I need to do it the natural way. But like my surgeons says. It's not that we can't lose the weight it's that we can't keep it off. I don't have a date yet.

[RosieSweetie 40]

Unfortunately there are many unsupportive people out there- some because they are afraid, some because they don't like change, some because they are jealous. I created a small inner circle of support along with online support.and a support group. YOU have to be very confident in your decision. You can be strong for yourself- keep a journal so you can see how much you have changed and learned. But, there will be challenges. I am only 3 wks out- (I did a pre-op diet for over 5 mos) and I feel much better and I am much happier. I do not feel constantly hungry and I do not feel the compulsion to eat. Remember, the surgery does not solve any other problems other than your weight. However, if your weight is down, and you feel better, it is easier to deal with the other problems.(and people). Good Luck!