Well I Thought I Was Done, But....

[cludgie 81]

I'd welcome opinions!

I am 364 days sleeved today (surgi-versary tomorrow yay!), I am 5'8 and had initially set my 'realistic' goal as 189lb, as I was that on my wedding day, and at 235lbs could not imagine why I'd originally been unhappy at 189! I did however set an aspirational 'dream' goal of 154lb, which I last weighed age 11 (obviously at 235 I NEVER thought I'd get there.

So in due course 189 came, and went, and on 23rd December I got to 154! Goal - I danced, I cried, I facebooked, I texted friends, I bought a scandalous mini dress, and then I cried a bit more. I mean, seriously goal? Me? Wow.

It was great, but I recognise that what I thought was going to be thin, isn't really, its normal, which is ok, its saggy, which is less ok (2012 is my year of toning up, and getting fit!), but I still see my thin friends as thinner than me (even the ones I now know weigh more, look smaller), and even when I started appraising it like that I was good with goal.

Then came the Christmas reunions!

Basically my friend has dieted her ass off (literally) and got to goal in november, when she saw me at christmas she was so thrilled for me to be at goal too, and after I commented that it still seemed unreal, she said "yeah, it feels great to know you are getting there doesn't it?".

"Getting there" - OH! I thought I was there.

So that really got me thinking, if other people look at me and think, wow she is really getting there, where should the finish line be, because I thought I had crossed it once!?!?!

So now I am wondering if 147, or even 140 would be a more suitable goal? Or am I just so used to life long dieting that I can't switch off and be ok with where I am???

Opinions would be warmly welcomed - thanks!

P.s I hope I don't sound whiny when I say this, I know how hard it is to get to goal, and a lot of people are still fighting very hard to do so, and I am really not playing that down by raising this question.

[circa 333]

I think that other people have a *view* of what everyone else should be. If you're comfortable where you are, then you're at your goal. I think basing your goal on a number that something you stand on tells you isn't the way to go. You said yourself you needed to tone up. That's not going to be rated by the scale - that will be rated on how your clothes fit and how you feel. I don't think you need to worry about the scale, but rather how you feel in your own body. You've done a lot of the hard work, but I think the hardest part is being okay with where you are sometimes. Forget what other people say, its about how you feel.

[SouthernSleever 228]

At 5'8" i think you can say confidently "girl I'm not on my way, I HAVE ARRIVED!" I wouldn't think going lower would be needed for someone of your height.

[coops 1,790]

Hey Cludige, I agree with circa.

Let you clothes do the talking! As far as I can see, you have reached you 'weight goal'... now for me, if I was you, I would maintain that number and work on the toning.

This part of you journey is ALL about YOU... not others.

As you know, I struggle like hell with the numbers on my scales, and I am often told that there is 'no way' that I am as heavy as I look, and that I look smaller than the size clothes that I wear. That is fine, for them. However, I am NOT happy where I am, size or weight! So I continue to fight.

Set yourself non number related goals based around fitness... watch you body change shape through exercise and get fit!

Good luck and let me know how you get on x

[Forensikchic 528]

According to the charts, you are right in the middle of normal for your height. I think you should work on the toning until you are happy with you. Maybe she didnt mean it the way it sounded. It could be that she is still working on hers and was speaking from that. I think you are a good weight for your height and you need to be happy with you so if toning is what you want, go for it! Dont let others dictate your happiness.

[MegInNOLA 531]

I think you may find that "toning up" through exercise may lower your weight a bit anyway. I would add to the "don't stress about it" viewpoint. I'm in your boat, as well, although not quite to goal. I'm in my original "goal size" and am planning to use 2012 as a year to get toned and a bit more fit, and I fully expect that I might drop another clothes size if not more pounds.

It should be fun to see where this goes! :-) Cheers!!

[Ms skinniness 3,003]

Congrats, your goal weight is just a number. How do you feel? do you think you look sexy? I don't even know what my goal weight is going to be. I'm just going to go with the flow.... Yayyyyyy!

[DisappearingDivis 36]

Everyone has their opinion about weight (specially women). And I know how awful it feels when someone vocalizes the fears you've internalized hoping it was just "in your head". But just remember that we have a tendancy to be our own worst critic. Try not to let others undermine all the great work you've done!

I'd welcome opinions! I am 364 days sleeved today (surgi-versary tomorrow yay!), I am 5'8 and had initially set my 'realistic' goal as 189lb, as I was that on my wedding day, and at 235lbs could not imagine why I'd originally been unhappy at 189! I did however set an aspirational 'dream' goal of 154lb, which I last weighed age 11 (obviously at 235 I NEVER thought I'd get there. So in due course 189 came, and went, and on 23rd December I got to 154! Goal - I danced, I cried, I facebooked, I texted friends, I bought a scandalous mini dress, and then I cried a bit more. I mean, seriously goal? Me? Wow. It was great, but I recognise that what I thought was going to be thin, isn't really, its normal, which is ok, its saggy, which is less ok (2012 is my year of toning up, and getting fit!), but I still see my thin friends as thinner than me (even the ones I now know weigh more, look smaller), and even when I started appraising it like that I was good with goal. Then came the Christmas reunions! Basically my friend has dieted her ass off (literally) and got to goal in november, when she saw me at christmas she was so thrilled for me to be at goal too, and after I commented that it still seemed unreal, she said "yeah, it feels great to know you are getting there doesn't it?". "Getting there" - OH! I thought I was there. So that really got me thinking, if other people look at me and think, wow she is really getting there, where should the finish line be, because I thought I had crossed it once!?!?! So now I am wondering if 147, or even 140 would be a more suitable goal? Or am I just so used to life long dieting that I can't switch off and be ok with where I am??? Opinions would be warmly welcomed - thanks! P.s I hope I don't sound whiny when I say this, I know how hard it is to get to goal, and a lot of people are still fighting very hard to do so, and I am really not playing that down by raising this question.

[lsereno 2,525]

Could have been just a figure of speech too, not a comment that you need to do more. Like wow, we are really getting there! We are hot mamas now - watch out world!

Lynda

[Lissa 2,631]

Goal is where you are comfortable. You don't have to wear a certain size or weigh a certain amount. You do have to find where you are happy with your weight and fitness. Let that be your guide!

Congrats on reaching both goals and good luck on your final numbers!!

Lissa

[christin 54]

Your weight sounds great for your height. I think your mind hasn't yet caught up with your body. Toning is an ongoing process and working on that will likely make you smaller even if you stay at the same weight.

You have done great! Enjoy your success!

[Newgirlie 37]

Get back to happy dancing!! You were happy with 154 before the word "getting" surfaced. She probably didn't mean it the way it sounded.

154!!!!! You should be proud of yourself!!. I would (and will) act like a crazy fool at 154!! I would buy the little dress too!

Don't let one little word ruin your happiness over your progress! You GOT there

[AnaBanana 63]

if you told her you were at goal to and she said 'it feels great to know you are getting there' maybe she meant that in the sense that it's been a great ride to get to the point you have both come to.

[Kiki Von Moonshine 53]

Like most have said your goal is YOUR goal. For me I'm happy at anything 170 and under, but if I had to pick a number I'd guess 140 would be ideal for me, depending on what that looked like. The body is different so my 140 might look really small on my frame. At 200 I looked small for my size. That was the first time I was able to fit into size 12's as well as 14's and 16's. So I guess for now it just depends for me on how I look, and not so much the pounds. I'm more clothing size driven. Once I get to a Medium size, and not this new vanity sizing, a true medium, I am in heaven!

[Dooter 1,457]

There will ALWAYS be someone thinner, making you feel like a cow. I remember being 125 pounds in high school being jealous of my extra skinny mini friend. We're never pleased with ourselves. Be happy that you can wear cute clothes, ride rides at an amusement park and reach your backside to clean it! hahaha...TMI??? Remember where you were, not where you 'could be.' YOU HAVE CONQUERED!!!!! HOOOO AAAAHHH!!!!!