The Surprise Benefit Of Hope

[Amanda 3.0 140]

I was sleeved on December 20, so I am just over two weeks out. While I knew I would feel better over time with my weight loss, I have been so thrilled with the unexpected immediate benefit of waking up with hope.

I think all of us here know all about self-loathing. For years now, I have awoken each morning feeling disgusted with myself and hopeless for change. The pain and shame of being fat has prevented me from doing so many things. Knowing how the world views a fat person has not helped, it has made me terrified of putting myself in a position to be judged by my weight.

Although I haven't lost too much yet, and in fact am in a weight loss mini-stall just two weeks out, the one thing I noticed from day one after surgery is that I wake up each day with HOPE.

I no longer feel that the rest of my life will be an endless struggle of starving to lose a few pounds, and then gaining it back with one wrong move. Repeat, repeat, repeat. That has been my life for years now.

I know I will have to work at this for the rest of my life, and I will have to be careful not to sabotage my new tool, but until this surgery, I cannot remember the last time I woke up with hope and optimism instead of the first thought of the day being about just another day of being fat.

[Swimmer 199]

Such a nice post. I'm hoping for the same soon!

[5McK 10]

I truly had not thought about it like that, but you are correct. I used to dread getting up, going into my closet and trying to find something that fit....I still have those problems now, but that is because most of what is in my closet is too big!!! Great problem to have.

Welcome to the Loser's Bench!

[ocean_ophelia 31]

Oh, yes, very true!

[MoonSiren 48]

This is so true. I now wake up and hope that my fat legs look leaner instead of just sigh and accept it won't get any better.

[thebionicbroad 127]

Oh, Amanda, what a great post. I used to murmur terrible things to myself every morning. Now, when I wake up, I see someone different in the mirror. I've skipped party invitations from people I haven't seen in awhile, because I was so ashamed of all the weight I'd gained. I hated to see any of my husband's co-workers, thinking that they'd judge him by how I looked. Now, that doesn't cross my mind. Even though I have quite a bit to go, I can feel hipbones, and ribs, and I can't sit as long as I used to. Yes, my friend, I guess that it's hope!

[Ms skinniness 3,003]

OMG! This is such a transformation. I love looking for clothes and finding that I have shrunk. I use to think the people judged me by my weight also so I wouldn't go. now I want to live life to the fullest. I am in a stall and have gone back on an all liquid diet to trigger more weight loss. I don't even know what my goal is. Just taking it one day at a time.... Love it! LOL

[Lissa 2,631]

Great post!! I hadn't articulated it, but you are so right!!!

Lissa

[Amanda 3.0 140]

It is a wonderful change to my outlook on life. I feel so fortunate that I was able to have this surgery. I"m so glad others here understand.

[SKCUNNINGHAM 298]

Amanda - you are so wise. And you are wise to have that sense of hope. The sleeve is an outstanding tool. I couldn't be more pleased with mine.

[emily_0192010 168]

I'm very similar to you... except it's not hope that I feel but relief. It's like a weight (hahaha) has been lifted off of my shoulders that I didn't realize I was carrying around. I no longer pay attention to diet ads or the "lose 20 lbs in 20 days guaranteed" gimicks... I finally feel like I have it under control. I'm only just over the halfway point but I've said more than once that this is the easiest "diet" I've ever done because I am not actually dieting at all. I feel normal and happy and I feel like i've taken control of my body and it is wonderful.