I Need To Get Back On Track

[Bryn 3]

I had my surgery in April 2011, so I am 8 months out. I have lost approximately 70 lbs. My doctor is satisfied with this weight loss and says I'm losing at a good pace. I agree and I hope to lose 30 more lbs. by my surgery date to make it 100lbs lost.

The thing is, I don't eat that great. I have tried to keep a journal/log of my food, and it worked in the beginning but I have been through a lot in this past year and I will start up again (part of my new year resolution lol). I think I drink too many calories...well I know I do. Starbucks has always been my friend and still is; I plan to decrease this habit in new year.

I know what I need to do, but I'm so stupid as to why I don't actually do it. I go to the gym regularly about 2-3x/week and I plan on stepping my game up to 4-5x/week and gonna start up P90x with a friend. I got out of a relationship in september and started a new one before thanksgiving..we are still together and I'm the happiest I could be right now. he does not know about my surgery and I don't plan on telling him being that we are still early into relationship. he does notice how little I eat. He also tells me how dedicated I am to my eating habits (although I think I eat like crap, he thinks I eat perfectly healthy). there are times where i will go to panera and foolishly get a large chili..knowing good and well I can't even eat a third of it. this is what messes me up, I still think i can eat like a normal person. I order things I use to eat because I fear people will catch on. I can get a meal at a restaurant and eat til i feel a bit of pressure and stop...take it home, and i have the rest for 3 meals later. I have no idea why this makes me mad. It's gotten to the point where I stopped going out to eat, i make my own meals but then i cook as if I'm cooking for a boy scout troop. My mind has not processed this surgery. I feel like I'm half and half. I get it, but I'm afraid of going forward and I have no idea why.

for the past two months I haven't lost any weight ( i believe i have gyno issues and I am going to doctor in 2 weeks for that issue), but i feel i have cause my jeans do not stay up and my belt is too big; so i'm assuming i'm losing inches. but it kills not to see the scale move. i've told my doc and she said that's fine. i just get beaten up over it. she suggested i sit in on support groups, and i will. i will need to find one in which i'm comfortable in.

I guess I am venting cause I have no one else to talk to about this. Mentally this is harder than i thought. especially when you do it by yourself. so I plan on frequenting the site more to get advice and to talk. thanks for reading

[coops 1,790]

Hiya Bryn,

your post makes complete sense and from the sound of it - I think I am reading it right - you seem to know what to do. You are also quite positive too and I think that is really important! It does take some time for the brain to catch up with the body, and I think there will be a 'light bulb' moment for you very soon!

The losing inches over pounds thing is really common, and I have noticed that during each and every one of my stalls (they range from 2-8wks in duration) I have continued to lose inches!

I am sure you will make it to goal ... you have done an amazing job in just 8mths!

[Ms skinniness 3,003]

You have very good insight! I find myself doing the same thing. I order food at restaurants and then can only eat a few bites. I do this when I am really hungry and feeling deprived in some way. I found my left overs going to my husband and it's not doing him any favors. Instead, I try to eat on a schedule now, not get too hungry so that my monster doesn't get loose. Sometimes I see myself loosing and then my head goes to a place where it sabotages my success. I have to be kind to myself and remind myself that I'm ok and that I am looking really good. I don't need to beat myself up because it doesn't help, it just makes me really sad. I plan on taking a couple of bites and making better choices. We are all learning to do that....

[thinoneday 445]

Don't feel too badly about this, I really think the majority of us need to get back into it!

We'll be here all together supporting each other and kicking butt if need be (some people don't like that but oh well, better honest then not) I've put on quite a bit of weight over the holidays and hey I'm human, life happens, but now i'm going to get back into it (I hope ) My only real plan is to stop with the snacking and get into that gym. . .I think that is going to be harder then dieting, I have to completely turn around with how I feel about the gym. . . but I will give it a good attempt. . my goal is to go every Tues, Thurs, and Friday for 30 - 45 minutes. . . good luck to all of you!

[itscometothis 12]

I'm glad I found this post.. the holiday season has been a mess of Cookies and snack mix! If I eat one more Peanut Butter marshmallow square I am going to turn into one! The wine and girly drinks are creating havoc as well.. ugh. I weighed myself and gained 4 pounds... I had surgery in August.. it's RIDICULOUS to gain weight less than 6 months out! Anyways.. deep breath.. hello Protein and vegetables, goodbye everything else!

[BroadwayBaby 19]

That is what the new year is for - a fresh start. Get back to Protein first and the cravings for the other food will subside. You can do it!

[ILKrista 36]

I really related to your post. I'm a little over 10 months out, but the past couple of months I've just been up & down the same few pounds. I know the problem is me indulging too often in things I don't need. Instead of dwelling on the mistakes I've made the past few months, I'm really going to try to focus on what I can do right over the next couple months to get that weightloss moving again. I'm trying the Valentines Day challenge to see if that won't keep me motivated.

[wondering1 103]

The same is true for me. I really need to step up my game. This weekend I went to WVU to visit my daughter. I ate anything and everything I wanted. A couple of months ago I wouldn't have done that because I was very serious about my weight loss. Its getting harder though, especially when the scale starts slowing down. I need daily and sometimes hourly encouragement. I don't want this whole over-indulging to start spinning out of control. Tomorrow is a new day and I must do better!

[pneal 5]

Bryn, I'm right there with you! I've been doing the same things. If I can put a smile on your face....."you just wrote my biography"

[Shae 44]

Bryn and Dorrie,

Thank you so much for your words as they describe me to a Tee!! Especially the part about self sabotage for no apparent reason. I guess it's sort of like I'm scared to be a normal weight person. I spoke to my husbaqnd yesterday and was telling him some of the things I was struggling with. He sort of gets it but having only had the problem of not being able to gain weight, he can only understand at a topical level.

I find myself eating when I'm not hungry (not bad foods, low fat cheeses, fruits, lunch meats, veggies, etc) and eating faster so I can get more in (devil be damned the consequences of feeling miserable for a few hours). Sometimes I think I must be half insane because no sane person would do this to themselves. I just don't know how to stop.

I finally found a support group in my area but I have to wait until Feb. 9 for the first meeting. Although, unless someone else has found a solution or at least some tricks that worked for them, what good does misery sharing company actually do?

I'm at a loss here as to how to combat the issue, especially since we know what we are doing is bad for us but seem helpless to stop. Just know that you are not alone and that if I find anything to help me, I will certainly share it just in case it could help you too.

[bjstrans4mation 21]

I needed this post!!! I'm 11 weeks out and my issue is that I don't know what to eat now. I'm basically living on Beans which is good because of the Protein. I'm finally getting in my 2-3 shakes per day and Water. But I really need to get in proper foods and exercise. I don't want to sabotage my progress by grabbing what's conveniant. In December, I spent 2 weeks in NC and tried to eat out---my sleeve wasn't having it and my foolishness caused me to waste money and throw up every day. I've got to think about my decision and really find what's going to work. Blessings2u--BJ

[missjanab 3]

i'm glad i did a search before i posted because i was going to post a thread on the same thing. sometimes lately i don't even feel sleeved anymore. i mean of course i get reminded each time i eat but i'm 5mths out now and can pretty much eat very little of anything (besides bread&milk). i can eat about a cup of food very slowly over about 20-30 minutes comfortably. i learned early out not to eat to the full point because the more i eat the longer i have to wait to drink and i get thirsty very quickly after eating. and my weightloss has pretty much been stalled for the enitre month of january!

this is my first stall since surgery and it's driving me nuts! during the holidays i drank about 5 sodas total! i did manage to stay away from the cakes and pies though. it took me a whole week to fight the feeling and let the cravings go away. then the second week of jan i was fighting cravings for sweets! finally over that now but i feel like a lot of my old appetite has come back and i'm getting really scared.

i went to my 5mth last week and doc says i'm doing good and have actually lost more than expected. told me i need to get back to the basics and focus on my Proteins again and give the shakes a try but my lactose intolerence is not going to allow that just yet. i can handle ground beef, steak and chicken just fine but they all take so much focus to eat and get down properly it's a bit discouraging. i have to concentrate of chewing them pretty much to mush so they will not hurt going down plus even jus a lil of each puts me in over full mode and i have to wait at least on full hour before i can even take a lil sip of any kind of liquid.

i'm just getting nervous because i enjoyed my super tight restriction and didn't want it to go away!

[Ms skinniness 3,003]

Thank you Shae: Hey. we are all learning every day new things to help us get back on track. I have been increasing my Fluid intake and keeping busy doing other things like walking or calling a friend. The fluid increase helps with my head hunger. I try to just focus on nutritional stuff instead and eating a little more often. It seems like it's helping.

[Mrs.Val 8]

I'm glad I've found this post!

[former_vbg 198]

This is a good thread. I think sometimes it can be hard to admit to ourselves and others that we still have these "demon" thoughts that become our own worst enemy. Now that I am getting so close much closer to my final goal, I know I look much better and feel much better- but I am now struggling with still feeling like I look fat because I have so much lose skin. It's a painful reminder of how much I have abused my body over all these years and so there are times when I feel like just caving into the head cravings because "what the heck, I still look fat" are the tapes that play in my head. So, for example, I love my loose fitting size 9 jeans and I get sooo many compliments from friends about how "skinny" I look. But, then in my head, I'm like--- if you only knew how saggy everything really was.... they surely wouldn't think I was skinny. Between all the Spanx, compression garments, etc... it just is hard sometimes to not get discouraged even though I know how hard I have worked to get where I am. I hope in a year or two, I will be able to have some plastics to help with the loose skin, but even if I can't afford it, I need to find a way to be happy with the new me- loose skin and all. Easier said that done. I have already lowered my final goal weight once because of this, and wonder if I will feel the need to do it again when I get to that weight. Just gonna have to take this one day at a time.

I know my post isn't exactly what you are talking about, but I guess talk about self sabotage just stirred up some thoughts I have had over the past few months.