Who Are You?

[B.B 17]

Hi all,

its been a while since I posted any updates, but that's good actually

Who am I is changing constantly. I am currently so close to dropping under 200 lb, I'm so excited, last time I was under 200 was during my pregnancy and my son turned 7 last month. I find myself having so much more energy, its CRAZY! I joined a gym over a month ago, cause it was getting to wet and cold outside to continue with my walks and I also wanted to work on my muscles, well to wake them up and start moving them. I also started working with a chiropractor on my back, hip and knee issues. Tomorrow I'm signing up for classes to go to college, finally , to make me feel more like a teenager, lol (all I will need is braces on my teeth to complete the picture). I'm not at my goal weight yet, but I'm already feeling like a different person, also looking differently too. I missed wearing one pair of jeans that was too small for me last year and is already to big, lol. My local Goodwill will know me soon by my full name

There are also few downsides to weight loss surgery, which I was not expecting to be so bothersome. One is my Hair loss. I have been losing hair on a massive scale, clumps at a time. I remember having hair done before surgery and my stylist kinda complained to me saying I had too much hair. Now my ponytail looks really pitiful, I actually avoid pulling my hair back into one cause it makes my hair look really bad. I started wearing baseball cap most of the time at the gym, to hide my thinning hair. After talking to my doctor's office I was recommended to take Biotin to help with it, maybe there are other things I could do? I also asked him if there is a chance i could lose all my hair, he said it's very unlikely, but I can honestly say I lost more that 50% of all my hair so far, and keep losing daily. What is really ironic is that I'm noticing extra hair on my stomach and upper thighs - really bizarre.

The other really big thing is the loose skin. I get that it's a tough one to avoid, but now its becoming really annoying, especially for a woman. At first my breasts were gone, which saddened me a lot. I used to fill a D size bra now I can hardly make it with a C. I did have a stomach pouch post c section, that really never went away and the skin was kinda hanging over the incision site, but now I also have chin pouch, and that's a bad one to have, cause you can't hide it, disguise it or make it look tight. I noticed when I tilt my head to either side, the pouch follows and then hangs down the side I'm turning towards. I'm afraid to be mistaken for a turkey in the next week or so, lol, but all kidding aside, it is annoying.

Worst thing is that it's my face, and if I decided to surgically fix it I'm afraid of changing it too much, or that something could go wrong or I wouldn't be happy with the result. Not to mention it's also gonna be super expensive. Does anyone relate to that issue? What have you done to fix it? Can it still change over time? I'm only 4 months post op, maybe there is still some hope for me and my skin? I did notice the skin on inner thighs and upper arms isn't as loose as it was before I joined the gym, so I'm assuming gym has helped me there. I don't really know of any chin exercises I could do, does anyone know of anything besides stretching?

If anyone has any ideas they want to share please do, either here on forum or message me. I appreciate all input.

Thank you all for reading, all best in your journeys.

May the weight be the only thing you will lose

Edited November 15, 2017 by B.B

[B.B 17]

I finally found some time to write about how I got into this mess to begin with. It's a very long story told short, believe it or not, I know it looks long already, lol, but I did cut out a lot of unimportant stuff, I wanted to focus on things that were direct contributors to my weight journey. I hope you enjoy the read

I was still skinny in my young adulthood, when I met my husband 15 years ago I was at about 115 lb. As we dated we would go out a lot but I never worried cause I also worked out a lot, yet one day I noticed weight creeping up (my x-small clothign felt too small). Doctor diagnosed me with hypothyroidism and that took a while to get under control.

When we got married a year later my weight was about 140 and I started worrying. Felt huge and tired and disgusting, so we decided to move to Florida in hopes of being able to spend more time outside and helping me to get back in shape. That backfired, cause I didn't realize the severity of daily levels of humidity in that state. I was miserable outside and sweating more than I should, just for being out there. I did join a gym, but somehow my motivations were shut and although I liked to spend time at the pool or splashing around in the gulf of Mexico as I had to keep upgrading my swimwear from x-small to large size I also lost confidence to wear it out.

My body was changing and I didn't like any of those changes, while my thyroid kept getting worse. We also were trying to get pregnant and that seemed to be very frustrating and put additional toll on me. Eventually I was informed I wont be able to have children, cause of other issues within my body. We accepted the fate and on top of 2 older cats we already had we decided to add 2 kittens.

About a month after that I got pregnant (and I was at about 160 lb then), and my doctor worried about me a lot, reminding me that it will be a tough ride and I will have to see him often to make sure all is good, cause I was in high risk category of losing the baby, especially towards the end of the term. I took it very seriously and easy on myslef, but kept active as much and as smart as I could. Unfortunately problems started appearing very soon.

First one observable and related to rapid weight gain due to pregnancy (I was also showing very early on) was pain in my feet, both of them. I noticed it while durning my morning jog/walk time on the track behind my house. It was my heel spurs pain that went on undetected for months.

Then I started having problems with my hips, did PT for it, but since I was pregnant I didnt have any x-rays done. I was recommended to take it all even easier, to rest a lot, do simple exercises but not to overdo it.

Then other pregnancy related issues popped up, like gestational diabetes, preeclampsia and I was eventually put on bed rest. Weight only kept creeping up and when at one point I took a longer look in the mirror I cried, cause I didnt recognize the person in it.

I was about 250lb shortly before delivery, felt miserable and unable to do anything to help the weight, my sole focus was to make sure I can carry to term. With preeclampsia my doc didnt actually want to wait till my due date and suggested earlier c-section, cause that condition was dangerous for me more than for the baby. Since I was also breastfeeding my baby I coudlnt go on diet asap, nor deal with the heal spurs the way my doc suggested (I had only one cortisone shot in both feet - which was super painful and did relieve some pain, but cause it was meant to last for few months and wore off after 3 weeks I decided not to go through that pain of it anymore).

Finally when I could I started dealing with those spurs and signed up for nutrisystem delivery. I was doing ok, and moved onto the steroid treatment of my feet, but as it failed and the doctor knew I had already suffered enough we decided to get on the track for foot surgery. That's when my husband announced his office will be closing and we were faced with a decision to either stay and look for another job or move within the company (relocation) and keep the employment.

With 4 cats, new baby and my health issues we thought we cant afford to lose the income or insurance, but on the other hand we had just refinanced the mortgage in our house, and did a lot of major renovations, including new windows, new AC system, pool and backyard upgrade (basically making it safer for the baby, adding a safety fence and replacing existing concrete with nice pavers). So we were in a catch-22, either way we'd chose to continue we'd lose a lot of money, and in the still very unstable market then (my son is 7 now) having a steady income won over huge losses from sale of the house.

After we moved my search for a foot doctor started and it was a painful process, not only cause I was still hurting a lot every time I walked, but also cause of the type of doctors I happened to come across. After a year of seeing 3 different ones I gave up and thought the universe is against me. With nutrisystem I came close to 200 lb but never under, and as I continued to have my food delivered to new place I saw that it eventually wasnt helping me at all, so I decided to quit it. Then as I became less and less mobile cause of pain and weight gain I also became a recluse, didnt want any pictures taken, avoided family gatherings and descended into the world of online gaming and constant snacking.

Finally 3 years ago I had some eye opening facts presented to me, as my weight got close to 300 lb and I was moving out of the pre-diabetes stage. With my reg doctor we tried to fix my diet and habits, but the foot pain prevented me from most activity, it got so bad that I had to line up chairs between sofa and bathroom so I could make it there. That was no way to live, another huge wake up call was that I wasnt fitting on my son's school bus to get him strapped in (he takes the short bus cause he is autistic - and that diagnosis was also as if someone was putting up more obstacles in my way to recovery, my full focus - or whatever was left of it, cause I wasn't really myself anymore - went into trying to help him instead of helping myself).

During the year of work with my doctor I slowly changed my diet, and although I didnt lose any weight I also didnt gain anymore, but other problems came to light, like sleep apnea and high blood pressure. I finally had to also do somethign about my feet, and took it very seriously to find a doctor that will want to operate on them and I finally got lucky.

She had actually listened to me, and only suggested one type of therapy that I didnt try before - laser, but when after a few weeks the results were not what she expected we moved fast track into surgery. I had one foot operated on before thanksgiving 2 years ago, and the other before christmas (chose those dates for 2 reasons: 1. cause my son woud have time off from school and hubby some vaction too and I could rest post op, when I couldnt really walk much at first and each foot was beign kept for safety in a postsurgical boot, 2. another "good" excuse to not join any of the family events).

Those surgeries gave me a green light to living, but as I started walkign again I noticed other problems I had no idea about their severity before, cause I was never up long enough to notice. My lower back was a mess and my knees were useless, I couldnt kneel at all, not even on the sofa while leanign over to reach for the blinds behind it.

My life was pretty much a constant pain ever since pregnancy, and I felt liek trapped in a vicious cycle: one step forward - 2 steps back. I also didnt take many of the pain pills, cause they didnt really help much, and when I took the harder ones I was basically sleepign all day and I coudnt do that either cause I had to be awake for my son, besides sleep apnea was affecting my awake hours enough and often when my husband came home I was asleep on the sofa.

It was a really tough time, but very slowly I was making some progress. Eventually it was a conversation with my doctor which made me realise that my problems can only get bigger if I can't lose any weight, and staying at or around my current number (I was fluctuating between 285-298lb) wasnt an option either, so she strongly suggested I looked into bariatric surgery.

I finally did so a year ago, Nov 2016 and cause my insurance then didn't allow for the surgery to happen without a monitored and documented prequalification process that was supposed to take 6-8 months, I did some research to find better insurance and get accepted when I was ready to go through with it, after completing one sheet of steps. Ironically cause getting some of those required appointments was very time consuming I ended up having my surgery done 9 months after initial visit, but I was glad to have spent that time researching it thoroughly and learning about how it actually works.

To think back then I struggled with the thought that it was an easy way out, lol, there is nothing easy about it, it takes commitment, discipline and a complete lifestyle change, but I knew I had to do it, I coudln't live like that anymore, avoiding people, family, having trouble to keep up with personal hygiene, and most of all not being able to assist my son when he needed me - that hurt me the most of all the pains I ever had.

So here I am now, 4 months post op and feeling great. I'm still having some pain, mostly in my knees, but also in my hips and back. I had finally taken the x-ray of my hips and the reason for my back and knee problems emerged, and am currently working with 2 doctors to treat it.

Still not there health wise, and not skinny yet, but feeling hell of a lot better then a year ago and a world of difference from 2 years ago.

I'm glad to have had people in my life who inspired me, guided me and made me want to see the beauty of life at the time when I was ready to give up. Also ironically I met some of those people while playing those stupid online games. Isn't life funny that way?

I guess in the end all that happens in our live is somehow fated, and we are constantly faced with choices, and its only up to us what we chose to do. I'm happy to be alive and to be here, and am looking forward to skinny and healthy me2.0

Thank you all for reading, I did write this once before and cause of a misclick I lost all progress right before posting it, and since the site didn't save what I typed I didn't feel back then to type it all up again. Today I used wordpad to save the story as I write it Lesson learned

Edited November 18, 2017 by B.B

[drvs 6]

I live in central east coast of Florida. Married (14 years this coming Wednesday). Struggled with weight most of my adult life. I am a software engineer. Yo-Yo diets took it's toll on me. Type 2, bad back, bad knees, slight hypertension. Wife had VSG and hernia surgery repair last December with success of 85# down. We rescue ex-racer greyhounds. Currently down to 1 (had 4 at once before). We also have 2 chihuahuas (big difference in size but guess who runs the house; ha ha). I'd love to start being more active with the doggies. I also restore cars; I have done 6 in the past and currently working on a 1968 Ford Mustang.

I want to be so much more active but as I have realized lately overweight/obese people are not alllowed to do anything. I believe I get around very well and am as active as I can be but the reason I say this is no matter what I would like to do to be more active there is a weight limit for EVERYTHING. As an example the wife and I just took a cruise the beginning of this month. Looking at all the excursions the ship offered we could not do 98% of them. The ones we could do where there was not weight limit (believe it or not) involved eating. We couldn't do segway, 4 wheeler, dune buggy, wave runner (even 2 seater), tubing, zip line, nothing!!! It makes me very depressed.

I am looking forward to my surgery and my new life journey with my WLS and to share my journey/help others as I can with theirs.

Cheers

[B.B 17]

Hi all

So I am finally under 200lb, whew, but still 1 lb away from losing 100 lb total I wish to lose about 50 more lb, and it seems it will be a long journey, looking at the fact that last 5 pounds took a really long time. I guess I will have to work at it a little more than usually. More gym time, less bad food choices. Seeing my own weight starting with a 1 is awesome feeling tho

Hope you all are doing well and wishing you all a good holiday season

[B.B 17]

OMG!!!! I did it! Lost 101 lb in less than 5 months, wow. I can't believe I am here now. Its so wonderful. Although my recent weight loss might have something to do with my feeling under the weather I'm still very proud of myself. I went shopping for new pants, at fist I chose few with sizes 16-14 but they were all too big. Then picked up a few with sizes ranging from 8-12, and ended up buying two pairs, one size 12 and one 8 This is really crazy but I like that kinda crazy - give me more!

I'm saving for a big shopping spree come spring. I'm still wearing that winter jacket that I could barely zip up last year and now it feels like I could hide a person in it, lol. I'm really curious what size can I be next winter? The thing is when I look at myself I still see a large person, but I feel so small, wonderful feeling

[niseys4 130]

Congrats to your success! Your excitment has made me excited & hopeful too!👏👏 Im 4 mos PO & so far have been yo-yoing from a weight loss of 33 lbs to 35 lbs. Other than being sick what else did you do to have such Great Success? What surgery did you have! I am just so really excited & proud of you!

Is'nt it Wonderful to be able to shop in the small section!!! No more Plus Sizes!😁😁😁😁😁

[ProudGrammy 8,322]

On 11/15/2017 at 10:24 AM, B.B said:

Who Are You?

i am sixty three years YOUNG

happily married for 25 years!!!!

married for 26 years

DH hates it when i say above attempted joke LOL

i have one daughter, (41) years old and i am

a "proud-grammy" to 3 grand-kids- 2 boys-(14 and 10) - a

beautiful grand-daughter (17)

survivor breast cancer (19 years!!)

"survivor" of the sleeve - and this board/site!!

survivor of toooo many broken bones, and

surgeries!!

survivor of the Hungarian Revolution - 1956 (I was 2

years old, 4 year old sister, and parents)

survivor of being a state employee for 30 years!

i am also "cute as a button!!" LOL

the above is my story, and i'm stickin' to it!!!

kathy

[B.B 17]

7 hours ago, niseys4 said:

Congrats to your success! Your excitment has made me excited & hopeful too!👏👏 Im 4 mos PO & so far have been yo-yoing from a weight loss of 33 lbs to 35 lbs. Other than being sick what else did you do to have such Great Success? What surgery did you have! I am just so really excited & proud of you!

Is'nt it Wonderful to be able to shop in the small section!!! No more Plus Sizes!😁😁😁😁😁

Thank you so much for your nice and cheerful message. I have heard that loosing weight past the 200 lb mark is tougher, I hope it isn't.

If you are interested to learn more about me try my story in profile, or some of the entries in here. In short I had VSG done on July 11th this year. I was nearly 300 lb and despite working with my doctor I wasn't able to lose any weight, but I also didn't gain any, yet living with all that weight was not an option so we decided to look into surgery. Now I'm only sorry she didn't recommend it to me earlier, lol.

What I'm doing is mostly following doctors orders, watching what I eat and drink, and I try to keep busy. First thing I did after surgery (make it about a month after) was walking outside. The more I walked the more comfortable I felt with it - the first walk took me about 45 min and it was just a little circle around my block, now I can do it in 15-20 while reading a book . Then I started to extend my walking routes. I'm trying to keep it for about an hour. In the middle of October I joined a gym, It was getting too rainy outside and I didn't want to stop the moving. First month and a half I tried to get my muscles awaken and did some small weight training (really small, just to feel some resistance). If I had more time I'd add elliptical or recumbent bike. I had directions from my doctors and personal trainer what to do to minimize damage on my knees and back and to still make them stronger, so I was not allowed to use stair master, to jog or run, and do any kind of jumping. For last two weeks I have pushed myself into Zumba classes (I do take it easier than most though), yoga, aerobics with weights (low impact), and what I seem to like most, aqua fit classes. I'm trying to attend those pool classes 3 times a week. I finally feel brave enough to wear a swimsuit again, lol. When it's nice out and not too cold I'm still trying to add the 1 hour walk

So that would be all, really. Just following the nutrition rules and keeping busy And I keep up with all Vitamins too, as they are very important.

I'm curious if it really will be harder to lose weight now, that I dropped under 200 lb. I will see and let you know how it goes for me in a few months, or so.

And to be clear I don't shop in the small section yet, but I do hope one day I will again It is nice though to not have to go to Catherine's and other stores meant for Plus size women, not that I didn't like it there, but the clothing choices were not always what I liked.

I'm looking forward to less of me

Edited December 10, 2017 by B.B

[niseys4 130]

Well I too do Water aerobics 3x a week! I started this class & a healthier diet 2 yrs before i had my surgery! The weight was coming off but way too slow so i opted to have the surgery! Its been 4 mos now & the Aqua fitness has been a great help in firming up my skin( arms, thighs, stomach & calves) it also helps that I have a good understanding instructor who by the way is my age as well,62. She also helps me with strengh training with the weights & resistance machines! Now that Im in what is known as Onederland ( when your out of the 200lb mark. Now 199) my weight is coming of slowly but thats Okay! This helps me to stay ahead of not getting too flabby! However, I have lost 4 dress sizes & 17 inches since my surgery so far! Ill take my measurments again on the 16th. Losing inches to me is more exciting than losing pounds cause that shows more!

[B.B 17]

I know for a fact that losing inches is better, cause the more you work out the more you will tone up your muscles and they weigh more than fat, while taking up less room in your body. I have noticed a huge change in my clothing, and I had a meeting yesterday with my volunteer coordinator and she was surprised to hear I'm just under 200 lb, cause she said I look like I weigh a lot less, that's about the nicest thing I heard in a long time

I have been having a very busy month so far, so busy that I sometimes can't find time to work out or even to go for a walk. It's good in one way, cause I do still keep moving, and meeting new people, and just the joy of not being confined to home is better than anything Before I dropped under 200 lb I was a bit anxious about the weight loss, now I'm giving up on worrying, I only do what I can, what is best for me, and listen to the advice of the specialists who help me along the way. So I'm not checking the scale, unless before posting here to update the progress, I really don't measure anything, no food or calories, I got used to my diet already, I only buy what I can eat, and only eat what I have at home. We have a trip coming up, I'm not even very worried about that, once in the hotel I will buy a few triple zero oikos greek yogurt containers (or drinkables that are good on the go) and focus on those when I won't have to eat out.

I actually had my first dinner at the restaurant this month, cause it was my birthday (I know I'm too old to be celebrating birthdays, but I really wanted to Celebrate me, my weight loss journey and my success in it so far). I chose Red Lobster to celebrate at. I started with a full glass of Water with my Vitamins (I made it part of my routine to take vitamins before eating, it helps me with 2 things, remembering to take them, and remembering to drink before eating), cause I knew I wouldn't be able to drink anything once I started eating, then ordered a lobster bisque and added one of those to-die-for garlic biscuits, dipped it in the Soup I had and enjoyed every bite. After that I took a little break from eating, and since the soup was still there and the evil garlic things as well, I decided to have one more, what the heck, lol. I suspected it would be too much for me, but I really enjoyed it and the taste was worth it and it tasted exactly as I remembered. Then it was time for dinner, for which I ordered only lobster tail and asparagus. As meal arrived I put the butter away asap, didn't need it at all, and after taking two bites of the lobster I was full. I kinda played about with the food while my party was still eating, then ordered to go box and had the leftovers (really almost full dinner) for lunch next day. Once at home I had a piece of Godiva dark chocolate with raspberry filling, it was oh so good I know that one evening my nutritional requirements were not met, but I enjoyed the food and will remember it for a long time.

I'm about to have my 6 month check ups soon (I tried to schedule them before the year is over so that they are still free due to surgery this year). I will see my dietitian for the 4-th time all together (and possibly last), my surgeon, as per schedule, and that will be an ongoing check up, I guess still every 3 months till year is passed by, and I will also have my second and final visit with the psychiatrist (first was before surgery). I'm looking forward to all of those and making already a list of questions for each doctor. One of the things I'd like to focus on is the time when I will stop losing, I'd like to start preparing myself for that.

So who am I now? I'm under construction and the general architect keeps changing his mind about my final look, and I like the unknown, and I like the changes so far, the good and bad. I will do all I can to minimize the loose skin, and once I'm done losing I may decide to do some elective correctional surgeries, 2 really come to mind, my abdominal and chest area. There is a procedure for getting rid of the double chin, and I started looking into that, it's minimally invasive, doesn't change the way the person looks like, only corrects the neck area. Once I learn more about it I will see if its good for me, for now I keep on losing Funny thing is that since I stopped worrying about reaching some number on scale I lost additional 4 lb, lol. Nothing can take away the feeling I get when I see that number always smaller, when I see it declining I still keep saying to myself, "This is crazy!" And I'm glad I finally found something that makes me feel awesome when I lose, lol

Peace to all