Regret

[tuttle 2]

Thank you all for the support

[New in 2012 14]

Hi tuttle,

I think it is a really good thing that you are able to ask the question in this forum. Sometimes the first step in dealing with regret is to give voice to it.

Depression is a complex thing, and any major life change can spark it. It is not just something you can think yourself out of or that you have chosen to feel. The physical changes that this surgery brings can bring on depression, particularly dehydration and malnutrition, so be attentive to that. What we all have done, by having this surgery, is make a permanent change in our lives that we cannot take back. Even with good results -- 60 pounds is amazing!! -- the reality of the change is still there.

I have been depressed, clinically, before, and I work in mental health now. It is important to allow yourself time to mourn what you have lost and not beat yourself up for the regret. It is hard to give up something we like; it is hard to learn entirely new ways of coping with stress, of living our daily round; it is hard to accept the changes that are happening to our body and our world. So allowing ourselves to feel that is part of the process of healing. Like a cut, it has to scab over before new skin can grow; you are still very much in the healing stage.

As you mourn the loss, you will begin to find hope and encouragement. In the midst of the loss there is also joy to be had, thankfulness for altogether new things that these changes are bringing and will bring. I wish you peace as you move through this time, and hope, and the grace to accept yourself, exactly where you are, right now, even if it is feeling regret.

Tomorrow is a new day, with new opportunities.

[Lissa 2,631]

I agree that we should work to find better addictions. I see a therapist to help me deal with my food issues. It's made a huge difference in how well I eat and in keeping me level headed.

That said, I did have a few minutes last week with having a pity party for myself. I gave myself half an hour to brood, then I went for a bike ride. The endorphins from exercise always get me feeling better!

Good luck! It does get better!

Lissa

[thebionicbroad 127]

In the course of my 54 years, I had to quit smoking and quit drinking. Now, I've had to give up much of the food that I used to self-medicate. I wonder about another replacement, too. Maybe it will be exercise. That would be wonderful.

[feedyoureye 3,087]

Sometimes being low on Vitamin D can cause depression too... are you taking your Vitamins? It helped me a lot...