How Do You Handle Eating Out And Rude Waiters?

[Becca 108]

Most times I just order a la carte items when I go out to eat. Every once in a while I will order a full meal and just eat a few bites. Then I will just take the rest home. Some waiters seem to have a huge promblem with this and think something is wrong with the food. Most of the time I don't feel like going into the whole weight loss surgery story with the waiter. Today I had the waiter keep asking if everything was okay and if I wanted something else because I couldn't finish my food. What do you do in this situation? I used to tell the waiter I had surgery, but lately I just don't feel like I should have to. Just curious how others deal with this issue.

[ASM 0]

My mom had a bypass 8 years ago, she always moves her food around so it looks like she's eaten more,I don't think this has ever been an issue, so maybe try that.

[swizzly 901]

I get asked that here all the time. I just say it's delicious, but I'm full. Repeat repeatedly, they'll get the point.

[Oopsseedaisy 90]

I ask for a to go box when I am full and that lets them know I liked it well enough to want again later.

Also, you might try getting a 16 year old boy to join you for dinner. My son loves that I do not finish anything. He has been batting clean up for me.

[yecats 109]

I am a waitress. I am not sleeved yet (hopefully soon) but often run into people that I believe have had WLS surgery. I being experienced, I would never question why someone did not eat there meal. Do not get me wrong, if they are unsatified with their food, by all means I would do what I could to make them happy.

When a server is trying to see why you did not eat, they are trying to satisfy you to improve there tip. It is ignorant to be pushy and rude but I do not know how intentional. Servers mainly are doing this for one reason, to improve their tip by trying to improve your dining experience. This might sound crazy but maybe you are being to nice. I have had mixed messages from guests, wondering do they want the extra attention or do they want to be left alone.

What I would do in this situation is when the meal is served and all plates are down, so you have thier attention, look directly at him and say "can I have a carryout container NOW, I am sure I will not finish all of this". Then directly move your eyes away, leaving no room for any conversation. Short and sweet.

As a server you get a feel if people want to conversate or not. . All though there is a lot of people that should not be in the profession, most do not want to upset a guest or they are wasting thier time and not making any money.

Basically eye contact stating what you want then move your eyes away and body language stating you are done conversing. When they bring the container, smile. look at their eyes and say thanks and move your eye contact away. They will then know they had met your need.

I have also learned from my profession that when someone states that they have had a medical issue, surgery, whatever.... they generally are opening the door to want to conversate. As a server you are basically just trying to build a repore for a short period of time. There are some REALLY not so smart servers that ruin the guest dinner out and in turn ruin their tip. I see this happen with all kinds of issues all of the time, not just WLS.

Sorry so long,hope this helps.

[thebionicbroad 127]

Yecats,

Thank you. That explains a lot.

[BrownDoesAll 409]

I was getting strange reactions to nothing to drink with meal. They would say " Really nothing " looking at me like I was crazy. They would ask me several times, as if I would change my mind. So I started asking for Water and I would simply push it aside. I've been ordering appetizers as my meal and that doesn't seem to be a problem. Most servers want to make you happy to improve their tip, so know they don't mean any harm.. I agree, no need to explain about your surgery.. Simple, "I'm full" will do. Asking for the box after you've ordered the big meal should stop the discussion with the servers.

[ocean_ophelia 31]

Plenty of skinny people eat little; it shouldn't be that strange. I tend to be blunt, and if someone were to question me, I'd just repeat myself and be done with the conversation. Really, it's none of their business.

[IslandGrrl 11]

I've found that when I ask for a box and box up most of my food immediately after it is served, I don't get the questions. I've also had great success with just telling servers that the food is wonderful, and I wish I could finish it, but I'm full. Generally either strategy does the trick for me.

[Ms skinniness 3,003]

When I eat out, I simply tell the waiter that I'm happy and every is really good. They tend to leave me alone then. At first I did tell them that I had weight loss surgery but then decided it was none of their business and just politely say thank you. I always get a Water with lemon for a little sip to cleanse my palate. Love it...

[Formerly Fluffy 5]

I don't think it's intended to be rude. I think he was just trying to be accommodating. Just tell him everything is fine and change the subject.

[Less of Leslie 90]

Pre-op dieting, I would order my food and ask them to box 1/2 of the food before they serve me. My surgeon gives his patients a card that can be lamenated and kept in your wallet. It states that you have had stomach surgery and it would be appreciated to be able to order items off of the children's menu and senior menu!

[Catracks 865]

I just had an idea. Please do tell me if this is tacky. I got a bunch of tupperware as a Christmas gift (I love it because I got tons of small sleeve sized containers). Anyway, how about stashing a small tupperware container in your purse and pack your own food away. That way the wait staff has no idea that you have a lot of leftovers.

Men -- a backpack? your GF/Wife's purse?

I think this is what I'm going to do.

[lml32937 65]

I just posted something similar- I am DREADING going out to eat anymore because of the lack of tact 90% of service personall have.. tip or no tip- it is not necessary they ALL Need sensativity training- from the seating in the booth to the asking for a box to aksing if "that is all you want" OH and another- If I ask for something extra and your menue states there is a charge for substitues you don't need to belittle my intelligence by telling me there is a fee for that- If I couldnt afford it a) i wouldnt ask and i wouldnt be dining out....

[UXgrrl 29]

So sorry that so many of you seem to be having trouble with waitstaff. The city that I typically go out to eat in is home to a large medical institution and the waitstaff there seem to be trained to deal sensitively with people who might be going through a hard time... at least that was my first impression when I was interviewing for jobs in that town.

We recently went out to Red Lobster and the adults ordered a shrimp cocktail each and an order of stuffed mushrooms to share, and the kiddos each had a kid's meal and a skewer of grilled shrimp. The bill came to $45 for the 4 of us and I STILL brought home enough shrimp for a 2nd meal. The waitress didn't bat an eye when we ordered so little food for the family or when I asked for a to-go box after eating about 4 shrimps and 2 mushrooms.

DAMN, I can get used to this. Certainly easier on the wallet!