female only Sex & Body Image Issues

[ILKrista 36]

Hmmm... So I have always had body image issues, especially when heavier. In fact, I didn't date for nearly 10 years because I felt like I was too disgusting. Now that I have lost over 100 pounds, I definately feel much better about myself... with the exception of having all the loose skin on my stomach & the sagginess of my boobs. I have been dating a very nice man for the past couple of months, but I still flatly refuse to take my shirt off for any reason... I really feel like if he sees what I look like, he will not be remotely attracted to me. I am planning to have plastic surgery next year & he has been very understanding about the whole thing, but how the heck do I overcome this? Anyone have any experience with dating & the loose skin issues?

[FishingNurse 1,210]

^{oh dear,}

^{I am kind of going through the same thing. But quite honestly-- if someone cares about you enough they will not be repulsed by your saggy skin. You can see from your photo you are beautiful and I am sure he sees your inner and outer beauty. I wouldn't want to be with someone that couldn't look past so saggy skin-- that will probably get better with time. I plan to start removing clothing soon with the hunky gentleman I am seeing and I plan to give him a tiny warning-- something like-- " I am a work in progress, :-)" and just tell myself it is what it is.}

[SKCUNNINGHAM 298]

Good lighting and pretty lingerie will help you feel prettier. If a guy is really attracted to you, he will want you - wrinkled skin and all. If he is turned off by that - see that as a sign that he isn't worth going out with (much less get intimate with).

Have you talked to any professional about improving your self image / self confidence? That could help you.

Good luck - you have done wonderful with your sleeve. Now you need to have a little fun!

[italianlady13 80]

I dunno, I see your picture and it is showing me a stunning woman! My goodness who has a perfect body anyway? Non any one person unless they are some kind of model (and most of them are airbrushed, btw) He very probably has his own insecurities as well! If this guy really likes you he will not care if you have a bit of loose skin, he will probably think to himself "hot damn I got a stunner of a lady, I am one lucky stud".....

[lanaekili 0]

I'm scared my man will leave me after surgery. He likes big women. He has been supportive and knows that I'm doin this for my health. But in my mind that don't change what he likes.

[Qpdsful 2]

Oh ladies...I have been married for 21 years....when my husband and I met I was 135 pounds....oh yea that all changed when our second son was born and I went thru hormonal hell....I reached 268...and my husband loves me for ME...not my rock hard body, loose or flabby skin....But that all sounds great until we look at our self...I am 5 months post op and 81 pounds off. The stomach is not so sexy nor are the breasts...I love my body for the amazing journey it has allowed me to travel.

HOWEVER I just went to Dr. Steven Garner here in Santa Cruz CA and scheduled a breast lift and tummy tuck...FOR ME not for my husband or my friends!

I just want to hug you for sharing your body image challenges and tell you sister friend LOVE YOURSELF FIRST...the rest will come naturally. Hang in there and keep me posted on how your next surgery goes!!

[Felicia 28]

Don't worry so much. I can't really talk too much because I have a ton of body image issues as well. I really try and not focus on my body so much. My BF catches me changing and looking disgusted at myself, and he always tells me how amazing I look and he really only sees the positive things. I have talked to many men about this, men friends who are straight not gay lol.

Anyways, most men say they don't notice the negative about a woman until she starts pointing it out. That's why men don't usually like the women who can't accept copmliments and are always downing themselves. When I am naked I am thinking saggy boobs, cellulite, and fatness. My boyfriend is thinking "boobies...i love boobies" lol.

All I am saying is if he is dating you, and understands what you are going through he already obviously cares for you a lot and I doubt he would care of your shirt was off. It is probably making it worse that you leave your shirt on, your pointing out something that he would otherwise overlook.

Good Luck hun, it will all work out. You may find even after your plastic surgery you might find something else on your body you don't like. None of us are perfect, as someone else said.

[sasicas 194]

My boyfriend is thinking "boobies...i love boobies" lol.

Bwahahahaha! I nearly lost my coffee on that one! Thank you so much for that laugh, I really needed it ha~

As for the original question...I really have no words of wisdom, I am SERIOUSLY dealing with some major body image issues. These saggy, shriveled up A's make me want to cry daily. My stomach that has begun to wrinkle up makes me want to vomit. Thankfully my legs and arms shrunk pretty nicely but good night, underneath the shirt?! Psh. Aint nobody seeing that. And I have been married for 10 years :/ All I keep thinking is that I want a Tummy Tuck and boob job but then I think that I want more kids soooooo I have to put those on the back burner and figure out how to overcome feeling so disgusting. It doesn't help that if I mention plastics I get the evil eye from people telling me I don't need it. Uh yeah. That is called clothing and padded bras, they hide the ick pretty well.

[Julie76 251]

I love this subject. All I can really say is you gotta love yourself first. All of us has taking a long journey to get to where we are today. My boobs are not the same and my tummy is ugly as all get out...oh oh and not to mention I have no backside what-so-ever now....but, I know I did the right thing for my health and my children and that is what matters to me.

My bf is 5'6" and weighs about 135.... Little bitty guy, who is rock solid from years of gymnastics..... and sees me naked everyday.... Not once has he said anything bad about my boobs, tummy or backside. He loves the person I am and how I treat him.

Good luck sleeve sisters. You are all beautiful women!!

BTW...... I WONDER WHAT THE GUYS WOULD SAY ABOUT THIS TOPIC.......ANY OUT THERE?

[delawaregal 2]

I have a double whammy not just loose skin after weight loss but being 61 the wrinkles and sag to boot. I wasn't wrinkled until after I lost the weight. I just started dating a guy and since I am the first person he has dated sine his wife's death we are going very slowly. BUT... i know eventually we will get to the point where we have sex and I am really dreading having him see me without clothing. I love how I look in my clothes but not so much without them and almost feel like it is false advertising. What you see is definitely not what you're gonna get, if you know what I mean. I know all the," if he really cares about you stuff" and while it is true, I also know men are visual and I know he is attracted to me physically. Just not so sure he would be when he sees me au naturel. I am not considering plastic surgery because I can't afford it and at my age I prefer to put my money towards retirement. I would love to hear from any older women who started dating after their weight loss and how they handled it.

[Formerly Fluffy 5]

It is what it is. You've got to admit, the loose skin looks better than all the excess weight! If he has any integrity at all, the excess skin won't matter. That being said though..........many men are extremely SHALLOW! I hope that is not the case with your new bf!!!

[DisneyJuju 4]

Oh ladies...I have been married for 21 years....when my husband and I met I was 135 pounds....oh yea that all changed when our second son was born and I went thru hormonal hell....I reached 268...and my husband loves me for ME...not my rock hard body' date=' loose or flabby skin....But that all sounds great until we look at our self...I am 5 months post op and 81 pounds off. The stomach is not so sexy nor are the breasts...I love my body for the amazing journey it has allowed me to travel.

HOWEVER I just went to Dr. Steven Garner here in Santa Cruz CA and scheduled a breast lift and tummy tuck...FOR ME not for my husband or my friends!

I just want to hug you for sharing your body image challenges and tell you sister friend LOVE YOURSELF FIRST...the rest will come naturally. Hang in there and keep me posted on how your next surgery goes!![/quote']

Dr Garner is a great man I used to work with his son's mom :-)

[hadouni 301]

Oh do I feel this post! I'll probably get to see an old Fw/B this summer and as much as I'm looking forward to the sex, the thought of him seeing me naked is enough to make me nauseous! And the last time we were together I was probably 20-25lbs heavier than I am now but I didn't have a stomach full of stretch marks, a c-section scar/gut and national geographic boobs! And this is a man who claims to have loved me since I was 19 (holy crap - more than half my life!).

So I'll just keep slathering on the palmer's stretch mark oil/cream. I wonder if running really does the tightening people claim... ??? Although if I start running I'll have to seriously announce for no one to call 911 if they see me because I've always sworn if anyone sees me running call the police cause someone's chasing me with a loaded gun!

Seaweed wrap anyone? =)

[hadouni 301]

And yes, you are seriously beautiful! =)

[Wheetsin 714]

My husband has been with me from "normal" to "super morbidly obese" and everything in between. If he likes you, he likes you - a little saggy skin isn't going to change that. When you know the person, attraction is more than a body.

Have you tried just talking to him about it and seeing what he says? Women get so wrapped in themselves. We notice so many things that a guy would never even think twice about.

I know it's cliche, but if he leaves you because of stretchmarks and droopy boobs, he's not an influence you want in your life anyway.