Feeling Lonely, Shaky, Hungry And Scared

[doglover 0]

Hi everyone,

I've been a lurker for quite a long time but this is my first posting. I had my sleeve surgery done last Wednesday (12/13). I'm feeling so, so, NOT normal yet and I'm scared I've made a mistake.

Hmmm, where to begin about how I feel? I know this is strange, but I'm going to make a short list to keep it succinct:

1. I feel scared because I'm thinking about food so much. I know this surgery wasn't supposed to lobotomize the overeating part of my brain (lol) but I really thought food would be the farthest thing from my mind right now. I thought that food thoughts would only come into play once I began eating solid food (stage 3, according to my surgeon). Am I this addicted to food that I crave it even through all this discomfort? Does this mean I'll never get my body, and my mind, healthy when it comes to food?

2. I also feel scared because my body does at times, during the day, feel some hunger. It's true that it's not anything like what it used to be. I'm getting in my 64 ounces of Fluid and 3 Protein Shakes (and getting in that fluid is no picnic, let me tell you), so why do I feel hunger? I'm trying so hard to learn the difference between head hunger and real hunger, but sometimes it just feels undeniably like real hunger. Is it premature for me to think I am not going to be a success story?

3. I'm still having quite a bit of pain, which I'm trying to manage with just Tylenol but sometimes I need to take the stronger stuff but then I feel so out of it and not able to be there for my little girls. My husband has been amazing, but I feel like I'm putting SO much on him and now he's sick. Also, there's the lovely ongoing diarrhea - with the anxiety right along with it that I shouldn't be still experiencing it. I need to check in with my doctor on that one.

4. I'm a bit of a control freak and it's hard to see the house messy but no energy to do anything about it, but I need to get over it.

5. My surgeon can be a bit of a jackass, and I hate what I wuss I've been around him. It's like I've lost myself. Usually I'm much stronger than this, but he's supposed to be one of the best and I just really, really wanted to have this surgery.

6. I want to go to support group but may not be able to start for another week due to not being able to drive yet. But even when I go, I feel like I have so many emotions but yet I know the meeting isn't about just me.

Friends (and I don't know you yet but I hope you will soon be friends), this is rough. Please help me feel not so alone. I promise that if you help me with any reassurance and wisdom, I'll pay it forward and help the next lost person who needs help.

Sorry about the total lack of succinctness! And thank you in advance for your help.

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

I was sleeved on 12/12, so I am WAY more experienced then you are...lol

I too have had that occasional feeling of worry when I feel hunger. There is the desire to eat, and there is what I feel as physical hunger. It really freaking me out when I felt it under my ribs and I thought "I don't think my stomach is that big anymore to feel hungry under BOTH ribs"

Don't know what your doc allows, but I am on "Protein liquids" or "full liquids" right now. It really helped me to mix it up and have a serving of a warm cream Soup instead of a Protein Drink. It also helped me alot to have some greek yogurt. I think that somehow just drinking the Protein drinks wasn't enough after awhile.

What also helps is taking the PPI medication. My doc prescribes it, I open the capsule and sprinkle it on a spoonful of greek yogurt.

I have tried to remind myself to not borrow trouble from tomorrow. If I feel hungry now, I think about what I can do to resolve it (my tips mentioned) and not worry if i will feel hungry next week or whatever.

As far as pain, I am decreasing pain meds now, but those first few days I really needed it. I got in trouble when I didn't stay on top of it.

Hang in there, I am getting better - I am sure you will too. Think positive thoughts and give yourself time to heal and recover.

[Lissa 2,631]

(((doglover))) I totally understand where you're coming from! Most of us don't know anyone IRL who has had this procedure unless we're really outgoing in support groups!! This will get better and you'll get past the "buyer's remorse" stage. It will happen fast, too!

I'm amazed that you're able to get in all your Water AND three Protein shakes. That's phenomenal for this early post-op!!! Are you taking any Vitamins and/or acid reducers? Many people find that taking the acid reducer stops the hungry feeling. I know that it did for me.

It's sad that your surgeon has bad manners around his patients. You should never feel that you have to beg him for info or answers. I suggest that you write down your list of questions and let him and his nurse know that you have lots of questions at your next visit. But, please do call them and ask about the acid reducer if you're not on one already.

Welcome to the loser's bench! Good luck on your journey!!

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

Oh,and I am only making the fluid goals by including the Protein Drinks in the total!

[Afro_Cyster 74]

In the short......you've come to the right place. You are definitely not alone.

As far as the housechores, leave it be, you shouldn't be lifting on anything.

As far as the doctor, you MUST stand your ground to get the respect you deserve and any questions you have answered. Otherwise, there are always other doctors.

As far as the hunger, early on I mistook gas for hunger pains (silly huh) but you'll come into your own.

Be positive, your weightloss alone should prove that you are on the right track.

[doglover 0]

Thanks so much, guys. Just knowing you are out there is comforting!

I was on Prevacid pre-surgery and I'm still on it - so I have the acid thing covered (or so I hope).

My doc does 2 weeks Clear liquids, then 2 weeks full liquids, then soft foods, etc. I know this will be a hard part of the journey because, let's face it, Clear Liquids suck!

Oh - and I misspoke. I did count the 3 shakes as part of the 64 ounces of liquids

[Amanda131 214]

Hi Doglover-

I just want to hug you. You remind me so much of myself and how I felt in those early postoperative days. Day 5 of recovery was by far the hardest- I experienced some serious buyer's remorse and worried that I'd made a horrible decision. Trust me when I tell you that you will feel significantly better both mentally in physically at two weeks out and damn near amazing at 6-8 weeks post op.

The two most difficult aspects of recovery in my opinion is the exhaustion and dealing with the mental part of food. You will be very tired in the next few weeks as your body learns to function with so little. I promise it goes away around 6 weeks. I found it easier to deal with as long as I knew it would go away. The best way to combat this is to take your Vitamins and get your Protein in each day.

I am also a bit of a control freak and always want to "pull my own weight". That being said, you really need to let Hubs continue to care for you right now. If your in pain, take the stronger stuff and rest. The more you keep the pain at bay and rest now, the quicker you will heal and be back in commission for your husband and girls. Trust me, I know this is so hard to do.

Finally, right now, I suggest embracing your struggles with food. Journal. Think about it. Read books about it. Do whatever necessary to get to the bottom of your reliance on food for comfort. This will help you so much in the future. I chose to enlist the help of a therapist to do this and highly recommend this avenue if you continue to struggle.

Most important of all, know that everything will be okay and this difficult time will eventually be a distant memory.

Hugs!

Amanda

[mamasez 9]

All I can say is been there, done that and it WILL get better! I am not that far ahead of you. I was sleeved on 10/17. I had ALL the same feelings & symptoms you are experiencing. It feels like it will be this way.forever, but I promise it won't. We spent alot of time eating and we enjoyed eating. It is jatural that you are thinking about food, but that will subside. The first two weeks I felt hungry and as literally dreaming about food. Others told me that would calm down after the first few weeks and they were right. You had major surgery. Your house will have to wait. Keep telling yourself that this part of it is temporary, because that is true. In a few weeks you will be cleaning like a whirlwind. You need to "borrow" this time from your kids but you will be able to play with them and tend to them so much better and with more ease soon, thanks to the weight loss you will experience. As far as your surgeon goes, don't let his God complex stop you from being who you are. My pain level was pretty bad in the first couple of weeks. I felt like a loser (pun!) Because most posts I read were from people going "it felt luke perioe cramps" and here I was hurting so bad, feeling so hungry, not able to cook, clean or homeschool my son for the first bit of my post op journey. I had to have faith that the issues would pwss and it would all pay off, now at two short months out and 49 lbs. lighter, I am reaping the rewards of my sleeve. As I dug deeper and read more posts here, I realized that the problems I was having in the beginning were not uncommon at all. I totally understand how you are feeling and it sucks that.some of us have a hard time in the beginning. But I promise the hunger thing gets way better, the pain will get better each dqy (I slept in a recliner for three weeks and became BFFs with my heating pad) and this will all pay off for you. i'm glad you posted. You have every right to vent. Hang in there and welcome to the losers bench!

[mamasez 9]

All I can say is been there, done that and it WILL get better! I am not that far ahead of you. I was sleeved on 10/17. I had ALL the same feelings & symptoms you are experiencing. It feels like it will be this way.forever, but I promise it won't. We spent alot of time eating and we enjoyed eating. It is jatural that you are thinking about food, but that will subside. The first two weeks I felt hungry and as literally dreaming about food. Others told me that would calm down after the first few weeks and they were right. You had major surgery. Your house will have to wait. Keep telling yourself that this part of it is temporary, because that is true. In a few weeks you will be cleaning like a whirlwind. You need to "borrow" this time from your kids but you will be able to play with them and tend to them so much better and with more ease soon, thanks to the weight loss you will experience. As far as your surgeon goes, don't let his God complex stop you from being who you are. My pain level was pretty bad in the first couple of weeks. I felt like a loser (pun!) Because most posts I read were from people going "it felt luke perioe cramps" and here I was hurting so bad, feeling so hungry, not able to cook, clean or homeschool my son for the first bit of my post op journey. I had to have faith that the issues would pwss and it would all pay off, now at two short months out and 49 lbs. lighter, I am reaping the rewards of my sleeve. As I dug deeper and read more posts here, I realized that the problems I was having in the beginning were not uncommon at all. I totally understand how you are feeling and it sucks that.some of us have a hard time in the beginning. But I promise the hunger thing gets way better, the pain will get better each dqy (I slept in a recliner for three weeks and became BFFs with my heating pad) and this will all pay off for you. i'm glad you posted. You have every right to vent. Hang in there and welcome to the losers bn

[UXgrrl 29]

Relax. You're doing just fine. Everything that you're experiencing is totally normal. We've all been there, in one form or another. This process can be extremely traumatic in the very beginning. I'm just starting to come out of the woods, look around and say, "holy ****, I'm not going to be the only one this doesn't work for, this might actually be my lifetime solution I was dreaming about!"

You WILL get to that place too. I promise you that. Some of us bounce back sooner than others. It's so tempting to compare yourself to others, but we're all on our own journeys to health. Try instead to focus on YOUR goals & YOUR victories. They will come, and sooner than you think!

I've been a member of this board for only a few months and it has an amazing group of supportive people. You've found your friends and your support group. We'll be here for you when you need us.

Don't forget to search through the old posts for keywords about things you are wondering about. There's a wealth of information buried in here... but if your brain isn't entirely functional right now, we're happy to repeat ourselves!

Welcome, welcome. We're glad you're here!

[doglover 0]

Thanks again, guys. I'm reading your posts with tears running down my face - I guess I really, really needed your kind words.

[Pookeyism 1,143]

"Am I this addicted to food that I crave it even through all this discomfort? Does this mean I'll never get my body, and my mind, healthy when it comes to food? "

You may still need some serious work on your cravings - and if so that is not bad, because you are aware enough to ask - may I point out that you go on to mention how out of control you feel, and that you aren't normally like that - that could be a big factor. Comprehensive reviews of your habits will lead to overcoming them. That is true in anything, not just VGS.

Hire a housekeeper stat. No kidding. Get someone in there and clean it thoroughly, get that off your mind. Lean heavily on your resources and reserves. Send the kids off to a relatives house, or have a friend take them for a little while each day. Get out of your house. Go watch a play or even just go sit in a meditation garden or art museum. Be shameless! Ask for the little courtesy hover-round and go zoom around the mall, lol.

Confront your doctor and bring backup. A friend adept at being assertive can help formulate your thoughts and push to make your doctor responsive. If you cant or will not then correspond via email, so you will have a paper trail of what he says, and you can address his attitude with him when you feel it is appropriate to do so. I recommend reviewing almost everything within an email it can come in handy! Take a look at my profile info. If I didn't have an email I would have been in a she said type of thing with my first doctors bariatric co-ordinator.

All the best to you!

[KellyL 173]

If you're still on the post-op liquid diet, yes, it's possible to be feeling REAL hunger. I did lose a lot of my hunger and cravings, but early out I did still get hungry for real food as opposed to liquids. You may also be experiencing more acid production this early out. So don't panic, it's gonna be just fine. Be sure to take your acid meds, and you may have to adjust them, if your Dr is ok with it. It takes a little while to adjust to everything, but it will keep getting better. Congrats on being sleeved!!

[Lillypad68 2]

As I sit here thinking about food and what I wanna eat, it f n sucks. Sleeved on 11/8 still havin a hard time dealing with the visions of food dancing in my head....some days are better then others. I also sometimes wonder if I made a mistake. I worry about stretching out my sleeve...Idk ..one day at a time, one meal at a time. Good luck, thanks for listening, michele

[100%Sleeved 148]

I totally understand how you feel. I got sleeved the week before Thanksgiving and of course mama through down of the meal. I was dreaming about her dressing. I sat there and watched everyone eat. I was so sad. My 1st week out I was having pains that I thought was hunger pains and it was actually gas.I started to regret my decision but that only lasted 10 minutes. After starting ppi I don't have gas anymore. I'm down 30 lbs and I don't miss food now that I'm losing. I think a lot of us go through this phase. Hang in there it gets better.