Help! Thinking About Backing Out!

[LoserMama 37]

bcole, I have the same surgery date as you, and even though I HAVE tons of complications and DON'T like the way I look or feel, I'm still having second thoughts. I think its pretty normal. In the end, you need to weigh the pros and cons for yourself. My high weight in August was 278 at 5'7" and I just believe I need the tool of wls to get back to healthy. I think you hear tons of people on here saying I wish I could have done it when I was younger.

I'd also weigh some of the things that may be in your future in your pros and cons list.

For example... if you want to have kids, our pregnancies are higher risk and more often end in c-section than our normal weight peers. Once you have the kids ,chasing them is not fun when you are not healthy. And your behavior is a big influence on your kids -- so it becomes a cascade of potential obesity problems. If you don't want to have kids what other things are on your bucket list that you know you can't do without losing weight?

On the other side, this is a major surgery with risks, and if you think that you could do this alone through diet, exercise and behavior change, definitely do it! I saw a story about a young woman the other day, who has lost something like 200+ pounds on weight watchers, so it is possible, with support and dedication to do it on your own. Just get the supports around yourself to do it, and still know that at our weight we realyl have to do something, but we have to be ready to do something, because we have to feel it inside ourselves that we are ready for, and have a reason for, this change.

[Pammie 8]

HI, my surgery date is also 12/21/11, I am still so confused, I want the surgery, I do think that it would be the best thing, but I cannot stop worring about the anesthesia !!

[ocean_ophelia 31]

You have received some amazing and supportive advice. I am in my 30s with young kids. My BMI is "only" 30, but I have high blood pressure and elevated LDL cholesterol. Hypertension runs in my family, so I am actually not counting on the surgery to "cure" it, but losing weight certainly won't hurt. The bottom line is that I feel like crap most of the time. I am ashamed of the way I look, and I avoid social engagements. I am not nearly as active as I should be, because I figure, what's the point?

As someone else pointed out, yes, you can lose weight on diet, including WW, Jenny Craig, etc, but for most obese individuals the trick is KEEPING it off. I have lost weight MANY times in the last 15 years, and I have gained it back (and then some) EVERY SINGLE TIME. I am a binge eater. I'm an emotional eater. I need a tool to help me get that under control. I need something permanent to help get my hunger and eating back on track. If you think you can lose weight and keep it off, by all means, do that first. But have you already tried and failed?

Health problems can creep up on you just like that. I had no issues until I had my mid-30s. Sometimes I think it's best to do this "preventatively." After all, people sometimes have a double masectomy when they discover a lump in one breast. They figure, might as well nip it in the bud early. That's how I think of this surgery. With a BMI of 30, I could certainly do another diet, but I'm afraid in 5 or 10 years I'd just be back here again - heavier, more unhappy, and older.

[peacequeen 434]

Well, I'm almost double your age so I can tell you that it doesn't get any easier where your health is concerned. Though you may be healthy now, obesity isn't good for anyone..eventually. I've been on every diet and I can ask myself, how was that working for me and answer honestly that it was not. I've yo yo'd my whole life. Even while I was waiting to get approved to have a sleeve I yo yo'd. My niece once said, "when I see you,,I never know what I'm gonna get because you always look different." I don't want to live in that cycle anymore. I have hope that this surgery will help as a great tool to keep the weight off once and for all. I'm scared of the unknown but I take the same risk when I get behind the wheel of a car. Maybe ask yourself what the benefit of the surgery will be for you. I really admire your confidence and acceptance of yourself. I've just been beaten down for so many years it's made me hate the way I look and feel. I have 6 children (between my husband and myself) and 4 grandkids..I want to live for myself and for them. I want some quality in my life. If you haven't read this post,,check it out. It might give you something to think about. It is a personal decision,,good luck! ps..I didn't mean to sound preachy..it's the mom in me.

http://www.verticalsleevetalk.com/topic/24471-things-i-cant-wait-to-do/page__fromsearch__1

[PdxMan 4,292]

Wow, implying someone getting ready to have WLS surgery in a few days might be overweight ... How outlandish, thinoneday.

I don't think some people understand the consequences of being overweight. Even on a WLS board. People are dying from morbidly obese complications and we are supposed to smile and give everybody a ribbon?

Folks who are young and/or don't have complications ... God bless you. But for how long? Do you think it is a good idea to put a weight loss program off until a complication does come along and do permanent damage?

WLS may or may not be the answer. Being that young, do they feel they have exhausted other means or investigated medical reasons for their weight? But let's not kid ourselves about being overweight here.

I believe the OP has come to grips with that or they wouldn't be here on this forum and only a few days away from surgery. I would suggest you talk with your medical team about this again soon. Surgeon, dietician and psychologist to ensure this is the right decision for you at this time.

[Bcole 6]

Hey Guys!

First off, I would like to thank everyone for sharing their stories and offering me positive advice! I really appreciate it

I am 99% sure that I will go through with my surgery on Wednesday, it's just been kind of nerve racking thinking about all the negatives effects that could happen but I'm sure I will be happy in the end. My family is nervous for me because I'm the baby and they don't want me to go through any pain, which is understandable. Them worrying makes me worry too, but I'm sure things will work out fine. I am looking forward to actually dropping the weight along with living a healthy lifestyle. I know before, I have dieted and was never able to go down a size in clothing yet the scale would move (slowly), so I'm hoping that this surgery help me achieve the results I'm looking for.

Please send a prayer up for me that everything goes well! I would really appreciate it.

Thanks again, i'll keep you guys updated!

[Lissa 2,631]

Bcole, it's definitely normal to have second (and third and fourth) thoughts before doing this surgery, or any surgery for that matter! I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

I'm sure you've done your research and have talked this over with those that matter to you, parents, siblings, and you have talked it all over with your surgeon. I agree with the other posters that doing this while you're young and don't have co-morbidities is the way to go!

I was extremely "healthy but fat" until May of 2011, then pneumonia kicked my butt over the moon and back again. I'm twice your age and then some, but it only took one round of pneumonia to change my entire life expectancy. I certainly wish the sleeve had been an option for me way back when.

Good luck, whatever you decide, but we're keeping a spot on the loser's bench warm for you!!

[klus263 9]

Good Luck. You have made a great decision in doing surgery. I wish I could have done this when I was much younger but then again, this was not an option for this type of surgery. I had been basically overweight and/or obese for 20 years. No matter how much I exercised and dieted, the weight yo-yo and came right back with even more pounds packed on. Personally for me I had no such anxiety before surgery....I wanted it this bad and luckily I had an employer that covers surgery. I have resolved my health issues and I can do things I have not been able to do in a long time. I also have just become caregivers to my elderly parents moving them in with my husband and I (Mom has been diagnosed with Congestive Heart Failure-currently stable and my dad fell last Saturday and broke his hip-currently at a rehab facility). I would not have had the energy or health to take care of them which they need. Keep us posted on how you are doing.

[circa 333]

I think anyone that goes into a decision like this as if they were getting a pedicure is insane. You SHOULD have concerns. You SHOULD maybe have some apprehensions. Its a big decision! Anesthesia for any surgery should not be taken lightly. If you're anything like me, you've watched the videos of the surgeries, you've read 550,353 posts from people who have had, are having, or are thinking about having the same surgery. You've tried every type of weight loss option that you can. You've agonized over the decision. You've looked at the other surgeries and used logic to whittle down your decision to have this surgery. You then decided not to do it. Then you started over and did everything you did the time before and made the decision to have the surgery. As the date approaches, you start to second guess your decision because others may have opinions. You think "I can do this, I don't need this - its the easy way out" Then you remind yourself that you need a break. You need that extra tool to make everything you KNOW work. You're not dumb. You're an intelligent human being. You know how all of this works and you're trying very hard to not let preconceived notions that others, or even you yourself have outweigh the logic that has led you to your decision. Its not the easy way out. Anesthesia for anything is a daunting thing. Whether you're having this done, having plastics done or having your appendix removed, or any other surgery - especially being overweight. Anesthesia is calculated by weight. The more you weigh, the more you get. So even though you may be a "healthy" obese person, there are effects that extra weight have on the body that compound as you age. There's a reason that once you reach a certain weight, you're not called overweight, but a clinical term of "obese" - its an ugly word - and its meant to be. Bottom line, one way or another - getting away from that word in the best way you can is important. Either through conventional methods, or via a surgical method if conventional methods aren't working.

I'm not going to say you should have the surgery. I'm going to say that you have to do what's right for you now, and for your future. If you don't feel that you're at a point in your life where you have exhausted your other options and that you can keep your health in check, then you have to make that decision. I just know where I am and that maybe you've had some of the same thoughts I have.