Help! Thinking About Backing Out!

[Bcole 6]

I am definitely starting to get cold feet as my surgery date gets near 12/21. I'm 24 years old and I weigh 275 lbs. I don't hate my body right now and I am healthy, but I am tired of being over weight. I have tried many diets before and have failed so I know I can't really lose the weight on my own, however I don't have low self-esteem because of my weight and am quite fond of the way I look. The rational part of me says, "nip it in the bud, before you have health issues" and the other part of me is thinking about regretting this permanent decision. I don't want to end up hating myself and my body because of this transformation and maybe even coming out worse :-/.

I have been an emotional wreck for the past week and I just don't know what I should do. I know most of this is nervousness as this will be my first surgery, but I really do need some advice from you all. I know many say it was worth it in the end, but for someone who has absolutely no health issues, will I still feel like I've done the right thing?

I've been wanting this for a long time (I started off wanting the band when I was 16) and now that I have the opportunity I feel blessed, but I just don't want to regret this.

I would love to hear your opinions, though I know no one can make this decision for me, I just need someone to let me know if this is normal for me to feel this way.

[lookingahead 7]

BCole, You and I have the same surgery date. I understand what you are saying about having all sorts of different emotions. In some ways it's a blessing that the process takes a while, and in others it's a bad thing because it does give us so much time with our feelings and our thoughts. You are 100% correct, that only you know what is best for you, your body and your health. The only advice I'd offer up is to trust your instincts. Regardless of what anyone tells you, you need to be true and comfortable with your decision and make the decision for you, so you can live the life that you want to live.

I don't have any health issues either, and am active, but feel like I am shorting myself on living my full life because of my weight.

Sending good vibes your way!

[Misstxdiva 73]

I haven't been sleeved yet but I heard its a emotional rollercoaster when it comes towards the big day. I'm 25 years old and I've tried to lose weight before and before I stopped because I was ok with how I looked and my boyfriend at the time loved my body type. I got lucky having no health issues. As I like to say " I'm healthy just fat". Well I haven't been so lucky lately I'm now pre-diabetic and my knees are giving me hell. I decided I need to take control of my life again and get healthly so I'm choosing the sleeve which I will hopefully get done next month.

Only you know what's best for you. You may be healthy now but next year things may start to creep up on you like me. I'm sure people who have been sleeved can be more advisable on the emotional stuff. Good luck!

[favoredone 590]

I'm being sleeved in 3 days... I'm all over the place.. BUT, I calmed down when I thought about how much better my life will be... I wrote a letter to my sleeve... I suggest you write it out, talk it out,

http://www.verticalsleevetalk.com/topic/27108-my-dear-sleeve-letter/

[indy sleever 6]

I was also a wreck before my surgery (8/18). I had no health issues and a pretty awesome life. However, I wasn't happy with myself. I wasn't someone who had been overweight her whole life... it honestly just crept on over the course of 10 years and 2 babies. Before I really even realized it I had gone from a little overweight to being labeled "morbidly obese". It broke my heart. I was 35 years old 235lbs and my son was afraid for me to climb into his bunk bed with him because he thought I would break it... he had no worries about his tall, thin 230lb daddy being up there though. I couldn't live my life like that. I also started to fade away from my friends. Somehow I was the only one who got heavy after high school. All of my old friends still look amazing. So I would skip meeting them out for dinner or drinks... and started avoiding their calls altogether. I also worried that my sweet, wonderful, handsome husband was embarassed of me. He always told me I was beautiful but "I" didn't "feel" beautiful. I knew that eventually I would have health issues due to my weight... and I knew that day wasn't far off. So I made the decision to take control and get my life back. The decision was all mine... and I only shared it with my husband. My journey has been amazing... AMAZING!!! Hands down the very best thing I could have done for myself. I have a spring in my step now that was long gone. I smile more than I ever did before and I was pretty darn smiley before surgery. I just plain feel good... inside and out. To some I may seem like a slow loser... I have lost 57lbs in just under 4months... BUT when I step on the scale I smile! Crazy I know! At 4 months out I pretty much eat what I want. If I want pizza with my family I have pizza. I end up eating only a small piece or maybe a few bites but it is more than enough for me. If I want an alcoholic beverage I have a few sips. That is the beauty of the sleeve. You will have a little and you will be happy. It is not hard to follow the sleeve diet because you will learn very quickly what your sleeve can or cannot tolerate after you have healed. Only you know if you are ready to start this journey but I believe you will not be disappointed if you decide to go through with it. Good Luck!!! Keep us posted

[thinoneday 445]

Well if you weigh your pros and cons, your pros are definately overpowering your cons. . . you know you have a problem that needs to be fixed. . . i'd worry more if i didn't do the surgery. . . your only 24! you need to help yourself now and not when it's too late. we all worry and freak out before surgery. . . my goodness this was my 18th major surgery and heck I'm still here to talk about it 2 years later! and the good part. . . I'm down 150+ lbs. . . . no one can tell you what to do, that is your decision, but we can certainly tell you it won't be a wrong choice and as you can see, all of us who have had it are happy "little" (literally) campers. . . .good luck, i'm sure you will make the right decision for yourself!

[lookingahead 7]

@thinoneday --- I think it is a bit out of line to tell BCole that "she's only 24 a weighs a lot". BCole was looking for guidance and support (as we all are) and not judgement. I'm not looking to start a board battle, if we can't come to a WLS board without being judged by our peers, who understand our struggles what does that say for people outside the WLS community?

[emily_0192010 168]

It IS normal for you to feel that way. I am 20 and I had some medical issues "on the horizon"... they weren't affecting me yet but I could see them coming and I had some signs that things would start to be a problem. I also didn't have low self-esteem before the surgery and I was happy with the way I was.

But now? I am three months post-op... and the way I feel is just amazing. I didn't realize I would feel this much better. Seriously. I worked out and was in pretty good shape before surgery. I was just big. My weight didn't stop me. But now everything is just easier and I feel so much better, physically and mentally. Again, I didn't have low self-esteem and I was a confident person. Now it is just multiplied.

Ultimately it is your decision. One day your weight probably will cause problems for you and you may wish that you had done it while you had the chance. I am very happy that I was able to do it at 20, because I still have my whole life ahead of me. Maybe I can nip this in the butt before it becomes a problem in my life. I am hoping that because of this I will never have to deal with weight related issues. I am going to be a healthier person overall and my life will be better because of it.

Good luck! You'll do great no matter you decide!

[Forensikchic 528]

As everyone has said, it is your decision however I do have some words that you might find comforting and reassuring. I totally freaked out before my surgery, worrying I would die and leave my kids, doubting myself, saying, "why cant you just loose this on your own!!!" I felt like a failure and this was my way to save myself before I got diabetes. I was healthy too, no comorbidities or anything, just fat. I dont agree with people that say I am healthy, just fat, though. I work at a crime lab and next door to the morgue. I see plenty of people that dont have "health problems" but their heart is enlarged from having to work so hard to haul around the extra weight. There are so many things going on behind the scenes that affect our health that most people are unaware of. Your heart is a muscle and it gets enlarged when it has to work twice as hard as its supposed to just the carry the load.

I just want you to understand that just because you think you are healthy, just fat... you might want to reconsider the benefits of this surgery, as in not having an enlarged heart, fatty liver and so on... You will be able to do so much more and feel so much better! Ultimately, its your decision but the sleeve has changed my life!

[Catracks 865]

There was a time when I knew I was overweight, but not yet unhappy with myself. You are right to be weighing this. This is irreversible. If you are not ready and have no health problems, do not be afraid to put it off. As an analogy, think about this as you would marriage. Isn't it better to call it off even the night before then go through with something that you might regret.

Now me -- I know I'm ready. Yes, I have these little niggling thoughts about never being able to pig out again, but then those thoughts are squashed by the fact that I know I will still be able to enjoy food -- just a lot less of it. I dream about fitting into the nice clothes I used to wear. I dream of being able to hike to the tops of mountains again. I dream about being able to ride without straining the poor horse. I dream of getting on rollercoasters without wondering if they will be able to secure me. I dream of wearing a bathing suit and going boogie-boarding. I dream of being able to go to a wedding or a party without freaking out over how I look. I dream of being able to slide effortlessly into a booth. I dream of a day when my high blood pressure, sleep apnea, pre-diabetes and fatty liver disease will disappear. You may not have these now, but they will come.

You do have a lot to think about.

[Catracks 865]

My first impulse is to want to talk you into it because of all the success stories and the people who say that their only regret is not doing this sooner. Also know that you have a great support system right here.

[Paola 62]

I am 24 too, and I weigh 318, right now I don't have any health issues like high blood pressure or diabetes, but I know that if I don't put a stop to my weight gain they are coming. I do not have low self esteem, and I am not self concious about my weight, I love putting on a swimming suit and go have fun at a pool or beach. All that been said, airplanes are a pain, going on a public bus is a pain, the fact that I have to buy my clothes online at onestopplus.com is a pain. Right now my knees don't bother me, but a few more years with all this weight and my poor knees are gonna start shouting at me.

[IslandGrrl 11]

Except for age, we have some things in common. My high weight was also 275, and even though I'm 44, I had no medical issues related to my weight. ( I used to joke with my GP that I was the healthiest fat person I knew.) In fact, my family has a long history of large and healthy women, so I can't really say that I even had a family history to worry about.

Although I was content and had a wonderful husband who always told me that he thought I was beautiful, one factor that weighed heavily (excuse the pun) in my decision was how the world perceived me and how that could be an obstacle to my success. I'm working on transitioning careers, and I clearly understood that weight bias could negatively impact my chances of a successful transition. It would not matter how high my grades were or how successful I had been in my previous career, potential employers would bring any and all of their preconceptions about obese people to the table when they interviewed me, and I did not want to deal with having to try and overcome that sort of discrimination.

I guess what I’m saying is that while both mental and physical health are excellent, if not the best, reasons to decide on wls, there are many other reasons as well. I can tell you that even with my reasons very clear in my mind, I also experienced periods of doubt before my surgery. In the end, for me, it was the right choice.

I wish you the best, no matter what decision you make.

[UXgrrl 29]

At 24 I was healthy too, just overweight. I was 50 or 60 lbs lighter than I am now. Granted, it's been 10 years and two kids, and my metabolism has slowed a bit and I have a sedentary desk job. But, I've also developed early onset osteoarthritis, which has led to a total hip replacement at 32 and the likelihood of another within 5 years. I've been been fortunate that my heart and blood sugar have been stable, but my cholesterol has suddenly gone out of control only in the last 3 years. I also developed fibromyalgia which, along with the OA, has made it much harder to exercise. The weight has been packing on with alarming frequency over the years and I wasn't able to figure out how to get rid of it.

I don't know if I would have had WLS at 24. It seemed so extreme to me only a few years ago; but all I knew about was the band -- which didn't seem like it was enough -- and the bypass -- which seemed like too much. But it's amazing how health issues suddenly make you rethink your priorities, and the lengths to which you are willing to find relief.

One thing that did scare me, which I didn't know about, was that during my surgery my doc took a biopsy of my liver. I received the pathology report in the mail earlier this week and it said that I had stage 1 NASH, or non-alcoholic steatohepatitis (aka "fatty liver disease"). I had never heard of this and my liver enzymes hadn't indicated problems so I googled it. I was alarmed at what I learned but I'm glad that I'm already working to reverse the damage before it gets too bad.

[thinoneday 445]

Lookingahead, why thank you hon for making me realize my shortcomings. My post is being supportive. If i caused any hurt feeling, other then lookingaheads, please accept my apologizies. Good day!