Vsg Surgery Ahead-2/13/2012- Who Did You Tell About Your Surgery And Why? Or Why Not?

[Dooter 1,457]

Ok- I'm about 65 days away from surgery- I just scheduled it yesterday, in fact. I'm beyond excited, but there are people in my life that I KNOW will not be. If I say anything now, they will spend 65 days trying to tell me how they can help me avoid this surgery. I'm 42. I weigh 340. I'm done. I'm doing this, because I know it will be the best thing for me and my family. If I tell them after the fact (when they start asking if I'm anorexic or terminally ill because I'm losing weight so fast..), they will be angry that I did not tell them beforehand.

What did you do? How did the people around you react? (Keeping in mind, I know I'm doing this for ME not for them...) Were they ultimately happy for you?

[Tif 2.0 141]

Well, I'm pretty open about my surgery I just don't tell anyone how much I weigh or how much I want to lose. I just tell them I want to get to a certain size. It doesn't matter to me whether I weigh 150 or 175 lbs as long as I'm at that size. (However, truthfully I'd LOVE to get to 130-140. That would be losing over 180 lbs total. I don't know if that's realistic, but I really want to get down to a size 8.)

As far as my family goes, my husband is supportive for the most part. My 5 year old son is VERY supportive. My extended family is very supportive because for my family eradicating diabetes is a big deal. So if this is what I need to do to keep diabetes at bay then everyone is VERY supportive.

However, I do have family members that are supportive to my face and want me to lose weight, but just not more than them.

[Dooter 1,457]

Well, that makes sense. I can see how they would certainly support that. I have NO co-morbidities, believe it or not, even at this weight. I don't know why I'm so worried about others' reactions. The mental/emotional aspect of this journey will be as important as the weight loss, I'm sure. Thanks for the input!

[Strongarm 1]

In my experience my mom was the only one that put doubts in my mind and if I had to do it over again I would not have told her. Now I am a changed man and I feel I made the best decision of my life. Good luck on your weight loss.

[jasleeve 440]

i decided not to be open about my surgery because people are cruel. and ITS NO ONES BUSINESS! with that being said, only a limited few know.

my mom. my brother. my 2 bestfriends. another friend. my ex. a childhood friend & my old hs teacher. my step dad. thats it. sounds like a lot of people but its not when you know hundreds of ppl. everyone else thinks im having surgery for a hernia. lol.

[corporatediva 1]

I have decided that only the people closet to me should know because lets be real they are the only ones who truly care and will be with me through the healing process. So with that being said only my mom, grandma, and 2 friends know. Everyone else thinks I'm having surgery for another reason. I'm sure with the rapaid weight there will be questions and whispers. But hey this is my life and i want to be Happy and Healthy. Good Luck!

[Bedhead 158]

I have opted to tell nobody but my husband. The way I see it- once you tell one 'close' friend, no matter how close they are to you- you may as well have told everyone. People are so gossipy I have no doubt if I told one person they'd all know in no time whatsoever.

[dreamkin 4]

I have told a few people. a very select few. i told my father and the first thing he started talking about was all the loose skin ill have. awsome. i told him i would rather live the rest of my life with loose skin, than not live the rest of my life.

i am not ashamed to have surgery, there is no shame in a solution. i am fearful of the actual procedure and of the recovery, because i do have comorbidities that will make healing risky. because of this fear i dont want anyones input. it has been my experience that peoples "concerns" sometimes are only a mask for their own agenda. there are people in my life who cannot feel good about themselves, unless i feel bad about me. these are the same people who have contributed to my almost 300lbs, and who certainly have not earned ANY right to participate in such a life changing decision and time.

i was extremely honest with the people ive told. ive explained that this is a decision i am making to save my life, to be here for my son in 15 years. this is not about a bikini, or a pair of jeans. ive explained that it is my decision alone and asked that they keep their personal opinions to themselves. the people who dont know are people who have no need to know, or whom i am certain would not be able to keep their opinions to themselves. this is my life, my choice, my risk. period.

i think those of us with these weight issues are so often concerned with how "others" will be affected by our choices or lives. i know thats been true for me. but ive decided to put myself first. deciding to have this surgery, as scared as i am, is the first step. i am literally staking a claim to my life! it is mine. i deserve it. and i WILL fight for it with all means available to me. if you dont like it youve got a whole life of your own to focus on. take your nose out of mine. tell who you want to tell and dont tell anyone you dont want to tell. this is your life and your concern should be for you and anyone who cant see that, doesnt need to know. HOW DARE THEY BE ANGRY WITH YOU ! HOW DARE THEY!! they should only be proud and inspired by your strength to make this decision to save your life, and greatful that you will be in their lives that much longer!

sorry for the tangent, im on a self respect kick lol!

tricia

[Tenshi 34]

I've been completely open with family, friends, and coworkers (most of whom I consider friends anyway)... and everyone has been very supportive and enthusiastic about my future after surgery.

The only people who've expressed any negativity at all about the surgery are my parents... and that's more out of worry than anything else, I think. I'm not letting it get me down, regardless.

[LaTisha Gwyn 1]

At first, I didn't want to tell anyone. I told everyone when I pursued a gastric bypass 10 years ago and ultimately was talked out of it. A bunch of comorbidities, a nephrectomy, and onset of type II diabetes later and I am going to take the necessary steps to ensure the best life possible now. I was angry that I wasted my twenties listening to all the naysayers. I was angry at everyone including myself. The only person I told at first was my mother and even she upset me though now I realize it is the concern appropriate for any parent to show their child.

Then during my pre-op counseling I realized that the surgery was nothing to be ashamed of and that if I could not stand the criticism of friends and family I would probably not be in a good place to share myself with the world after my surgery.

Now I've told everyone in my life. I will admit, there has been negativity, and doubt casters but I have dealt with it quickly and without my own negativity because I know their concern (for the most part) is coming from a good place. Those of them that don't wish me well I only use them for motivation to make the most out of this second chance at life. Being open about my decision and having the support of my coworkers, friends, and family make me feel more confident and stronger on my path towards a thinner and healthier me.

[Peacheykeen77 10]

I only told my close family & friends no one else not even my Co workers I don't want everyone to have a front row seat as some of my close family & friends some nays & yays so it turned me off to tell others if that makes since I have not had my surgery as of yet shooting for late spring early summer of 2012