Do People Treat You Different After Gastric Sleeve Surgery?

[2bfit 62]

So here is a question for those that have already been sleeved and have lost a good portion of their weight or have met their goal.

Do people really treat you different? Do you receive more attention and are people nicer to you? I have a friend who had bariatric surgery and she said that people treated her different. That she had more confidence and received more looks was a bonus for her. But I am married so will my husband respond differently to?

Any feedback would be great!

Thanks!

Cheri

[Foxbins 625]

I don't know that people really treat me different, but I feel different. When I was fat, I didn't like to eat in front of other people because I always thought they were thinking, "She doesn't need to be eating that, look at the size of her." Now if it's time to eat, I eat. I notice people don't move their chairs around when I am trying to get by. No one looks distressed when I sit next to them on an airplane. My outsides match the inner picture of myself and that makes me feel good about myself.

[Shae 44]

I am nowhere near goal but I have noticed a difference in myelf. I am more confident and I smile more. I have started pulling my hair back and wearing my jewelry. I walk with more of a sway that I did at my heaviest. Before surgery, God forbid I do anything that caused people to look at me! Now, I don't care so much and I don't feel like everyone is seeing the fat rather than me.

My husband married me when I was 15 lbs heavier than I am now. He has called me sexy from day one and even at my heaviest, he couldn't keep his hands off me. My concern in that area, and I have asked him this too, is whether he will still be attracted to me when my weight is in the normal range. His response was so simple but moving at the same time. He said that he is attracted to me regardless of the vessel that houses me.

I hope this adds a little perspective for you. I am only at the beginning of my journey (week 7) and I'm sure I will have many more examples in the moths ahead.

Shae

[2bfit 62]

thank you for the input. I am also married to a man who loves me just the way I am. He knows my reasons for wanting this and is supportive so in that respect I am not worried. I just have read posts on here where weight loss causes problems in a relationship. I guess some men are more insecure than others.

[sasicas 194]

Yes people treat me differently. I have" friends" who have fallen off the map, and I have never heard from again. Apparently I was being used just to be the fat friend.

One situation in particular really showed me how different people are around me now, even complete strangers. I was waiting to have lab work done. It was pretty empty, seats all around were empty, but people actually came and sat right next to me. It's happened at the doctors, the pharmacy, so many different places. And ya know, it bugs me. I was invisible when I was fat and it wasn't just because I made myself invisible, it feels as if people were scared they could catch the fat or something. *sigh*

Things changed with my husband too. He has become protective over me which he was not before. He is more affectionate. And again this bugs the snot out of me. I know he is a man, and men tend to be visual creatures but really it's hard to take in.

Now it's at the point that I have to adjust to the differences and I have to work on myself to not be angry with the differences I see from other people. I will tell you this much, after seeing first hand how different society treats obese people I will go out of my way to make an overweight person feel welcome and loved because I know how bad it hurts.

[clk 3,519]

Yep. I think there are a number of things that go into it, though.

As a general rule, people are nicer to someone they find attractive, and probably without even realizing it in some cases.

But a big part of what is attractive to other people is how you carry yourself. And as you drop weight, YES, you carry yourself differently. I have more confidence, I dress differently, I put more time into my appearance. I smile more, I'm nicer and I feel better about myself. All of these things change the way other people perceive me and how they react to me, from people I've known for years to salesclerks at stores.

My husband is supportive but never wanted me to lose weight in the first place. Sometimes he gives me a hard time about being "too thin" or getting skinny. However, he's got no problem with the attention I attract these days. To him, it's like the highest compliment he can be paid - he chose a woman other men find desirable and she's 100% loyal to him, too. He definitely gets a kick out of it and never really expresses any jealousy or insecurity.

~Cheri

[feedyoureye 3,087]

Yesterday my husband said he and the neighbor fella were talking about how he(my husband) was married to a skinny wife. The neighbor said yeah and never had noticed how tall I was. I thought it was funny they were even talking about me at all with each other!

I do get more attention from men for sure, young guys holding the door open, saying hi, eye contact... and women complementing me on my cloths and such. Checking me out.

[Rootman 1,101]

I too have received the cold shoulder from friends - all fat friends too. Seems I've "abandoned them" or they feel that I am trying to show them up, which is NOT true.

I've also received a lot of attention from the opposite sex, a lot of comments and even one friend of my wifes who was practically leering at me and acted like she had never met me before, which is probably true from her standpoint she is a skinny little lady and I was just a fat invisible blob to her prior to weight loss.

[Sassygirl06 962]

Im a little over half way to goal, and yes I have noticed that people are treating me differently. My hubby is one of the people. He is being way more affectionate and attentive. A couple of my friends have stopped hanging around with me, because I think that before I lost the weight I made them feel skinny, and I was the fat friend. However now I am much smaller then them, and so now they are my fat friends. Men definatly are treating me differently....opening doors, smiling at me, and I have been checked out by some of them. I was shocked to get some head turns my way just recently. It is fun

I definatly feel different and I know that I am more confident. It feels so good. I bet it will be so much better when I am at goal too!

[Rev Me Up! 75]

Hi-

I think most of the change comes from inside of you. You won't even realize that you are smiling more, carrying yourself with more confidence, etc. People react to that more than anything.

In my personal life I have been very fortunate not to lose any friends. My husband has always been supportive and the only change in our "personal" time really comes from me being less inhibited about my body.

Good luck!

[2bfit 62]

Rev me up! Now that's what I like to hear!

[Sassygirl06 962]

I know I already chimed in about this but I had 2 things happen today that I had to add. 1) my hubby has a guy that he has worked with for years. he has only known me as the fat wife. I just saw him last week and he told my hubby last night that I look like a different person....and I have turned into a MILF! haha! that is soooo funny to me.

2) my kids train in martial arts and there is this dad that takes his daughter to the same class as my kids go. He said to me today that he didnt recognize me with my new hair cut and that he almost asked me out I was looking so good. I was so embarresed! but it still felt good!

[feedyoureye 3,087]

Good ones!

[M2G 1,836]

I don't know that people "treat" me different, but I know I feel different. Whoever said making the outside match the inside hit the nail on the head. I have the same happy personality I always did (never have trouble talking to people, I'm a bit of chatty Cathy...even with strangers I will strike up conversation, etc.)

But now I feel like people get to see ME. The real me...no more second guessing, "do they think I'm fat, lazy, unmotivated, etc." all that stuff that we KNOW isn't true about obese people yet we know people are thinking it. So I probably smile more, my step is lighter, I noticed the same thing too about people not scooting their chairs in when I squeeze behind them, etc.

I've also been fortunate enough to not lose friends, but I'm a happily married woman so it's not like I need buddies to go out who would need me to be the "fat" friend so they could look better. I'm sure if I was in my 20's and going "out" that would probably be the case. Sadly.

My hubby is sleeved as well, so we both get to be on the journey to health together, and it has been a VERY good thing that we both got sleeved!

[Sassygirl06 962]

I don't know that people "treat" me different, but I know I feel different. Whoever said making the outside match the inside hit the nail on the head. I have the same happy personality I always did (never have trouble talking to people, I'm a bit of chatty Cathy...even with strangers I will strike up conversation, etc.)

But now I feel like people get to see ME. The real me...no more second guessing, "do they think I'm fat, lazy, unmotivated, etc." all that stuff that we KNOW isn't true about obese people yet we know people are thinking it. So I probably smile more, my step is lighter, I noticed the same thing too about people not scooting their chairs in when I squeeze behind them, etc.

I've also been fortunate enough to not lose friends, but I'm a happily married woman so it's not like I need buddies to go out who would need me to be the "fat" friend so they could look better. I'm sure if I was in my 20's and going "out" that would probably be the case. Sadly.

My hubby is sleeved as well, so we both get to be on the journey to health together, and it has been a VERY good thing that we both got sleeved!

i'll bet your grocery bill is nothing! haha