Nervous About Not Being Able To Eat/overeat...

[Hetera 44]

I need some help here.

I've started the process....insurance wants me to wait 6 mos and jump through their hoops, which is fine with me. However, I've been really trying to do some soul-searching about my relationship with food. During my psych evaluation, the therapist told me that while she is supportive of my having the surgery, she is concerned that I will have problems keeping the weight off after the "honeymoon" stage because I am an emotional eater. Needless to say, since I've decided to have the surgery, I've been VERY emotional and worried about "losing food." Since she said that, I've kind of "gone off the deep end" just when I'm supposed to be trying to lose some weight pre-surgically for the insurance company's approval. So for you all who are doing so well post surgically, my question is, how have you dealt with your emotions since you cannot eat to assuage them?

I asked my therapist, "Isn't everybody who's significantly overweight addicted to food on some level?" She said that not everyone who is obese is addicted to food. I guess the tipping point (or alarm) for her was that when I was in my 20s I was bulimic, and on and off for about 20 years after that. I'm in my fifites now, and have no compulsion about purging. I just don't do it anymore. I guess a history of bulimia is a red flag (understandably).

Since most dieters regain some if not all of the weight they have lost (as I have done my whole life) (and even those who have had WLS have been known statistically gain back about 30% of what they've lost), do you think a person actually CAN shake their addiction to food?

Before all this doom and gloom naysaying kicked in, my attitude was, "I'd rather being thin and healthy and fighting to stay slim, than sad and fat and struggling and feeling bad about myself and failing at diet after diet...."

Another question, how many of you "practiced" the dietary restrictions before your surgeries, and with how much success, i.e., not drinking and eating at the same time, esp.

Thank you all for your insight and help. I appreciate it. I want my surgery to be a success. I'm a very young 51 (often thought to be in my late 30s), 5'9" and I weight 265 lbs.

[BrownDoesAll 409]

Hi. I'm new to this site and recently sleveed Nov 8th. I'm still on the 3 weeks of puree food stage. I had the same question.. how does the surgery take away your desire for foods you know you should not have. Well if you eat the right foods during your normal meals your physical hunger will be gone.. that's step number 1. I've noticed yes physical hunger is gone, but when hubby brings in Cookies, especially chocolate ones my desire kicks in. Its a daily battle and I must learn to control. since i can't eat anything except pureed foods (i tried once and the STUCK feeling is not one I want to go through again) I don't eat the chocolate cookie.. howerver, I know there will be a time when I will be tempted and I will plan in a special treat when I'm allowed to eat.

This is a lifestyle change the sleeve is simply a tool to keep us full so we eat less. What we eat is still up to each indvidual. To be a sucess I think we gotta make changes. I've started with limiting what hubby brings in the house.. frankly he don't need the chcolate cookie either.

[Penpen 28]

Hi! I, like you, have always eaten for every emotion under the sun. I'd eat when I was depressed, I'd eat when I was angry, I'd eat when i was happy, I'd eat because there was a celebration of some sort, I'd eat because someone else was eating (even when I'd just ate and was already full)....I'd eat all the time and it didn't matter the reason or the emotion. I was out if control. And what went into my mouth most of the time was high carb, low Protein. I was miserable and I worried about the same thing your worrying about.

It's been about 5.5 months since surgery. What's changed for me? Well, my appetite for one. I don't crave things the way I used to. In fact, most of the time I have to remind myself it's time to eat something. When I do crave something, even when I'm craving a huge plate of something. (mind hunger)..i'll take 2-4 bites and am usually full and satisfied. My full feels like it used to feel when I'd eat a plate full of food then go back for another plate full...and because of that feeling, my desire for food at that point goes south. Once I hit that point, and remind you that it doesn't take much, I get a feeling of disgust for whatever I'm eating and I stop. It's so hard to describe. Maybe just saying that even when my mind tells me I can eat huge amounts, my stomach reminds me quickly that I can't and I'm left with no desire to continue to eat. I don't have to tell my self to stop, my stomach tells me. Now that I'm 5+ months post op, my weight loss almost seems effortless. Before surgery, there was no such thing...everything that had to do with food, control, and weight loss took an over abundance of control which I could not come up with on my own. For some reason, the sleeve gives you the ability to control without feeling overwhelmed and like a failure. Its so hard to describe. I just posted in my blog yesterday about a lot of the reasons I love my sleeve and some ways my sleeve has been life changing. You are more than welcome to read it. My blog is down below in my signature.

I hope this helps. Everything about eating and your relationship with food will change after surgery. It's just about impossible to image what it will be like until you've got your sleeve. I would do it all over again in a heartbeat if needed. This was one of the best things I've ever done for myself.

[Penpen 28]

I also wanted to say that you do still have to make the right choices. That doesn't mean you can't have something bad, it just means that the majority of what passes over your tongue needs to be the right foods but like I said before, my appetite has changed. I do still crave sweets and junky foods but when I do eat them, not often, I have a small amount and I'm satisfied. I just wanted to add that because I don't want anyone to think that having the sleeve makes it totally effortless. You have to make the effort to eat the right things but the sleeve seems to make that a lot easier. I don't feel like I'm on a diet which is awesome.

Hi! I, like you, have always eaten for every emotion under the sun. I'd eat when I was depressed, I'd eat when I was angry, I'd eat when i was happy, I'd eat because there was a celebration of some sort, I'd eat because someone else was eating (even when I'd just ate and was already full)....I'd eat all the time and it didn't matter the reason or the emotion. I was out if control. And what went into my mouth most of the time was high carb, low Protein. I was miserable and I worried about the same thing your worrying about.

It's been about 5.5 months since surgery. What's changed for me? Well, my appetite for one. I don't crave things the way I used to. In fact, most of the time I have to remind myself it's time to eat something. When I do crave something, even when I'm craving a huge plate of something. (mind hunger)..i'll take 2-4 bites and am usually full and satisfied. My full feels like it used to feel when I'd eat a plate full of food then go back for another plate full...and because of that feeling, my desire for food at that point goes south. Once I hit that point, and remind you that it doesn't take much, I get a feeling of disgust for whatever I'm eating and I stop. It's so hard to describe. Maybe just saying that even when my mind tells me I can eat huge amounts, my stomach reminds me quickly that I can't and I'm left with no desire to continue to eat. I don't have to tell my self to stop, my stomach tells me. Now that I'm 5+ months post op, my weight loss almost seems effortless. Before surgery, there was no such thing...everything that had to do with food, control, and weight loss took an over abundance of control which I could not come up with on my own. For some reason, the sleeve gives you the ability to control without feeling overwhelmed and like a failure. Its so hard to describe. I just posted in my blog yesterday about a lot of the reasons I love my sleeve and some ways my sleeve has been life changing. You are more than welcome to read it. My blog is down below in my signature.

I hope this helps. Everything about eating and your relationship with food will change after surgery. It's just about impossible to image what it will be like until you've got your sleeve. I would do it all over again in a heartbeat if needed. This was one of the best things I've ever done for myself.

[mommy794 119]

Wow penpen you answered MY question that I didn't even know I had! LOL or rather I couldn't exactly express what I felt/thought and the questions I had... that was about the BEST by far answer I have read on here! I'm not a real BIG emotional eater...I just love food! and when it's something I like...I want ALOT! So your description of how you eat what you want and you DO get that full feeling just WAY sooner really made sense to me and makes me feel better about how I will feel down the road after I have the surgery and I'm all healed up. THANKS!!!!

[Less of Leslie 90]

I am 5 days post op and really trying to find my place with that. I have come to the realization that when I did eat, it was so fast. Everybite I took was in anticipation of the next. I couldnt wait to take my next bite and before I knew it my food was gone. Had I truley enjoyed it? No. I inhaled it before I could enjoy it. Now, with the sleeve, we are forced to SLOW DOWN when we eat, thus, making us actually enjoy every tiny bite we take. At least that's what I think will happen. I am only 5 days out, on liquids, and DYING for a big fat steak and some pasta!! I too am struggling with ending my love affair with over eating, but I just know that my life will be so much better and maybe I will actually TASTE my food from now on!

[ocean_ophelia 31]

I can relate to your fears and anxieties. I am a huge emotional eater. My love/hate relationship with food started when I was 13. That's when I started my first diet. I was not an overweight kid, teen, or young adult. Despite this, I had two bouts with anorexia and also used bulimia (purging) to keep my weight in check. I've never had a healthy relationship with food. I've started myself, then binged, then used purging to get rid of the calories. I don't even know what it's like to truly feel full or hungry anymore. It seems I'm always hungry; even when full, I'm "hungry." I eat when I'm lonely or sad or depressed or frustrated or angry or happy. I eat to Celebrate. I eat to lose myself in the food and not think about my problems.

It's incredibly that my BMI is "only" 30, but I know it's going to go up, because I can't seem to stay on any diet to save my life anymore. That's why I've selected to self-pay for the sleeve. Even though I've done a ton of research and read a lot of stories, I still get panicked daily about my decision precisely because I know it's going to take away my crutch. But is food the way I want to cope with life? As my husband pointed out, you just think you're dealing with it by food, but you're not, really; the problem is still there; the emotion is still there. It's just being lulled by the carb/sugar/food coma.

What PenPen described is exactly what I've read others sleevers describe - the sleeve takes away that compulsion. Unlike other addictions, it's impossible to completely give up our drug, BUT we can learn to be satisfied with less and learn to stop obsessive. I hope to get that from the sleeve, because ultimately I'm not happy. Food is not making me happy. Is it making you happy? My guess is no or you wouldn't be seeking a change.

[Rev Me Up! 75]

All I can add here is that you are going to have moments that are emotional. I remember being in my kitchen after having a bad day and I wanted a big bowl of Cereal. I grabbed a bowl and I started to fill it up. I started crying and I actually said out loud "all I want is big bowl of cereal!". But I knew I wouldn't be able to eat it. I poured it anyway, took my 4 bites and that was the end of it.

It was completely irrational, but that was a moment in time where my emotions bubbled over. You can't really mess up on the scale that you could before. But, you will be facing your demons because the sleeve will force you to. You will find some urges easier to fight because your taste buds will change and you may not like the foods you used to crave. However, the desire to shovel food in your face because life is tough still happens.

I think these feelings are the worst in the beginning beause you are so limited in what you can eat. You start to wonder if you will ever enjoy food again. But you will, it just takes time.

No one said the emotional road was easy on this one... :-)

[Hetera 44]

Thanks, everyone. Again, my biggest concern is that I lose the weight, then gain it back.... All of your responses have given me a LOT to think about - food for thought so-to-speak. I'm not sure how to proceed right now, as I've just gotten a very important singing engagement for June (I'm an opera singer), and I know that losing a lot of weight quickly can mess up your vocal/abdominal support, and a wise singer that undertakes this (or any WLS procedure) take at least a year off from professional gigs to re-work their technique. I was hoping to have the surgery in May... maybe I'll just plan on having it after the performance. I DO want to try to get a handle on my emotional eating and make some real head-way before the surgery.

Thanks again for all of your responses. So very helpful!

[Penpen 28]

Wow penpen you answered MY question that I didn't even know I had! LOL or rather I couldn't exactly express what I felt/thought and the questions I had... that was about the BEST by far answer I have read on here! I'm not a real BIG emotional eater...I just love food! and when it's something I like...I want ALOT! So your description of how you eat what you want and you DO get that full feeling just WAY sooner really made sense to me and makes me feel better about how I will feel down the road after I have the surgery and I'm all healed up. THANKS!!!!

Thank you Mommy794! I'm so glad someone understood what I was trying to say. lol It's so hard to describe the way eating makes me feel now. I know that there have been a few times that I think I can eat an entire plate full of food at a restaurant. So against my husband's opinion that I can't possibly eat that much and we could save money if we'd just share, well....I order the whole darn plate. AND guess what! I take 3 or 4 bites and my brain turns back on and remembers that it had the sleeve surgery and that there's no possible way I can eat even a fourth of the food. Then shortly after that, I feel stuffed and disgusted by the food. My husband doesn't say a word but I feel like a child that just through a temper tantrum! I feel like I need to tell him he was right and that I'm sorry. lol I hate that I get that way but I love that when I do, my sleeve is there to remind that "Hey, you will explode if you eat all that AND it WILL be very painful!!!" Okay, maybe not explode but you know what I mean.

[Penpen 28]

All I can add here is that you are going to have moments that are emotional. I remember being in my kitchen after having a bad day and I wanted a big bowl of Cereal. I grabbed a bowl and I started to fill it up. I started crying and I actually said out loud "all I want is big bowl of cereal!". But I knew I wouldn't be able to eat it. I poured it anyway, took my 4 bites and that was the end of it.

It was completely irrational, but that was a moment in time where my emotions bubbled over. You can't really mess up on the scale that you could before. But, you will be facing your demons because the sleeve will force you to. You will find some urges easier to fight because your taste buds will change and you may not like the foods you used to crave. However, the desire to shovel food in your face because life is tough still happens.

I think these feelings are the worst in the beginning beause you are so limited in what you can eat. You start to wonder if you will ever enjoy food again. But you will, it just takes time.

No one said the emotional road was easy on this one... :-)

I totally agree with what you are saying. I also wanted to throw in there that anyone going through the preop diet or you're first or second months of post op, that living with the sleeve is completely different when you get out past 2 months. I remember having the thoughts that I wish I hadn't done the surgery because I was no longer enjoying food but only eating certain types of food (liquid or mushy) and very little of that, to simply survive. Just remember that you will definitely enjoy food again. Like tonight, we grilled steaks on the grill. I ate about 3 oz. of steak, maybe 2 small spoon fulls of a loaded potato, and a tiny pinch of brownie. I was so satisfied! These are foods I love! When I was going through the pre-op diet and the first month or two of post op, I really thought I'd never eat anything like that again. It just takes time. Hang in there!

[Hetera 44]

Rev me Up, I really "got" your story about the "big bowl of cereal." The whole irrational, tantrum aspect of it... "Life sucks right now and I want Cereal DAG-NAB-IT!" I remember getting novocaine once for a filling, and I was so FRUSTRATED afterwards because afterwards I couldn't eat...I wasn't hungry, but I couldn't eat or taste anything.... I was 12...

Your statement about "not being able to shovel food in your face because life is difficult" really hit home.

And PenPen, I've really found your responses, not to mention your blog, really helpful.

Everyones' responses have been great. Thank you again.

[Penpen 28]

Rev me Up, I really "got" your story about the "big bowl of cereal." The whole irrational, tantrum aspect of it... "Life sucks right now and I want CEREAL DAG-NAB-IT!" I remember getting novocaine once for a filling, and I was so FRUSTRATED afterwards because afterwards I couldn't eat...I wasn't hungry, but I couldn't eat or taste anything.... I was 12...

Your statement about "not being able to shovel food in your face because life is difficult" really hit home.

And PenPen, I've really found your responses, not to mention your blog, really helpful.

Everyones' responses have been great. Thank you again.

Thank you Hetera! You made my day!

[ocean_ophelia 31]

I totally agree with what you are saying. I also wanted to throw in there that anyone going through the preop diet or you're first or second months of post op, that living with the sleeve is completely different when you get out past 2 months. I remember having the thoughts that I wish I hadn't done the surgery because I was no longer enjoying food but only eating certain types of food (liquid or mushy) and very little of that, to simply survive. Just remember that you will definitely enjoy food again. Like tonight, we grilled steaks on the grill. I ate about 3 oz. of steak, maybe 2 small spoon fulls of a loaded potato, and a tiny pinch of brownie. I was so satisfied! These are foods I love! When I was going through the pre-op diet and the first month or two of post op, I really thought I'd never eat anything like that again. It just takes time. Hang in there!

This makes me feel so much better. I just have to remember this post-op when everything seems bland and if I ever suffer from regret.

[Penpen 28]

This makes me feel so much better. I just have to remember this post-op when everything seems bland and if I ever suffer from regret.

In the mist of all the emotion and what seems like no "real" food, it was sometimes hard to image life any different than that very moment. It would get really depressing sometimes but just remember it definitely gets a whole lot better....it just takes time.