Cheating..No, not with food!

[firemanschic 0]

Fireman20 and I have been married for 12 years now and we have never cheated on each other. Sometimes wonder why he sticks around with all that I put him through. But he is a wonderful person and husband and I Thank GOD everday that he sent him to me.

[Lila 0]

Last April I confronted my husband. Are you cheating on me? I had to ask three times until he said yes he was.

No one that knew him and I would ever believed he would have been capable of doing this. I really believed he would NEVER cheat on me. We had been together for 7 or 8 years.

He had a "girlfriend" for 2 YEARS and I never suspected anything until the last month or so before he admitted it to me.

I believe now that anyone and everyone is capable of cheating. I am still with him but I never really believe what he is telling me. He told me the biggest lie out there. And did the one thing I had asked him never to do to me.

The one thing I would like to tell everyone is don't not to believe that it can't or wont happen to you because it just might be happening to you right now.

[Lila 0]

Wow, the non-norm seems to be the answers I am getting here. I too am madly in love with my husband of 2 years, together for 5. We do everything together and want no drama in our lives and love being together and hanign out together and communicate like no other couple I know. He is the last person on earth I would ever expect to cheat on me or even think about it and vice versa! That being said, how do ya'll know FOR SURE you haven't been cheated on???

Hi Kim

I am not sure if you read my previous post.

Last year I would have said the same things as you "he is the last person on earth I would ever espect to cheat on me..." I am pretty sure those exact words came out of my mouth.

Kim, I am not usually a pessimist but every one needs to be realistic.

You have really no idea what your SO is doing or were they are when not with you. Mine left out the details. He was where he said but not with whom he said.

A good book to read is "the Script" It's about how when men cheat they all seem to follow the same script.

I hope that your hubby is not cheating on you because it is the worse feeling in the world. Something I would not wish on my Worst enemy. My dad died a few months before my hubby came clean about his affair. The affair was way more painful.

[no.name 0]

It is grounds for immediate termination of the relationship unless you accept a future based on lies. It is all about acceptance.

[*susan* 1,709]

To me, a major part of marriage is about trust and being faithful to one another. If you cannot trust the person you are with, then the marriage is a farce. My first husband cheated on me. On the day I found out, I had all the locks changed, got a restraining order against him and dumped all his most prized possessions on the front law in a big pile. From that point on, there was no marriage because part of our marriage vows included being faithful to one another until death due us part, and he broke that vow, so I broke off the marriage.

[Lila 0]

Hi susan4794

People say to me "your so strong" "how do you do it" . But I am just a coward. Not able to get away from this man that betrayed me and disrespected me in the worse possible way. I have this huge hatred in me towards him. Not always but when he talks to me disrespectfully when I know he should be kissing my A$$ for the rest of our lives.

Sometimes he makes me so upset I wish I was able to physically hurt him.

Susan you are strong. I wish I had had the courage to just kick him to the curb.

[Tired_Old_Man 1]

Many marriages have become stronger after one spouse was caught cheating. Steel can not be tempered until it is put through searing heat and the same can sometimes be said of relationships.

NO!! I am not recommending cheating as a way of building a marriage, but I have seen many marriages where things were just wonderful until the first tribulation and then the marriage fell apart. And that first tribulation was not necessarily cheating. We all wish for that fairy-tale marriage, but sometimes the couple who airs it out, lasts the longest. Many a marriage has taken place with the people in attendance silently snickering to themselves (and making mental bets on "how long will this one last?") only to fool the experts and outlast all the safe and sane pairings.

No one here knows what he or she will do if they find out that their spouse has cheated. No one knows if there relationship will die or prosper if and when it happens.

[KariK 0]

To me, a major part of marriage is about trust and being faithful to one another. If you cannot trust the person you are with, then the marriage is a farce. My first husband cheated on me. On the day I found out, I had all the locks changed, got a restraining order against him and dumped all his most prized possessions on the front law in a big pile. From that point on, there was no marriage because part of our marriage vows included being faithful to one another until death due us part, and he broke that vow, so I broke off the marriage.

Susan, you rock!! The other day my hubby and I were watching TV and something about cheating was on, he goes 'Wouldn't you be just bummed if I cheated?' And then I replied 'Yep, it would really suck to have to spend the rest of my life in jail for murder.' We have a wonderful marriage so I don't think I'll see the inside of a prison cell anytime soon lol.

[*susan* 1,709]

The person my ex-husband was cheating on me with was one of my best friends. Heck, I didn't know it at the time, but I was picking up her kids from daycare and taking care of them for her while her husband was at work and they were at the hotel!

Now, the best part of the story, for me anyways. And, no, I did not plan this and it was not revenge or anything, it was just something that happened. We had a regular group of friends that we all hung out with all the time. One of them was my husband's best friend. He had been divorced from his ex-wife since 1991. She cheated on him constantly. They worked at the same place of business, and one day the owner came out and told him they had to fire her because she was in the used car lot, in the back of the car with a salesman having sex. Can you imagine how humiliating that must have been. Anyways, after many years of this, he had enough and got out of the marriage. He always made his opinions known of how he felt about the sanctity of marriage and how he feels about people who cheat. About a week after my ex and I split due to his cheating, his best friend started calling me. At first, I didn't take his calls. When I finally did, he told me that even though they were best friends, he ended his friendship with my ex. He said he feels very strongly about the vows of marriage and being faithful to ones spouse. When he found out my ex was cheating on me, he lost all respect for him. And, he said, how can he be friends with someone he doesn't even respect. Anyways, he said he knew what I was going through and offered to be there for me and support me any way he could. Well, we had known each other for close to 5 years, so we were already friends and knew a great deal about each other. Things progressed very quickly and soon, we fell in love and were married. We have now been married for 7 years and I truly believe I have found my soul mate. And, if it weren't for my ex-husband, I would have never found him. So, for that, I am thankful for my ex and do believe in happy endings.

[Justy 0]

My first husband cheated on me and then I cheated on him....and enjoyed it, and then I kicked him to the curb. Who ever said revenge isn't sweet??

Ditto!! It was sooo very sweet!

[Boo Boo Kitty 3]

Things progressed very quickly and soon, we fell in love and were married. We have now been married for 7 years and I truly believe I have found my soul mate. And, if it weren't for my ex-husband, I would have never found him. So, for that, I am thankful for my ex and do believe in happy endings.

Susan

that is the sweetest and most inspiring love story EVER! Congratulations to you!!

[Sammysue78 0]

Wow, this thread sure got a TON of replies! Always a juicy/difficult/dramatic subject though!

[kimalicious 5]

Lila, I am so sorry you had to go through that and I don't know what I would would do if I just flat out knew something like that. You will be strong when you decide to be strong and that is that!

Susan, your story gives us all hope that regardless of what happens in a relationship there is always something on the other side of it, but it also scares me into the thought that maybe my life won't always be like this and there are many changes ahead for me. I'm not good with changes so that scares me.

[sweethot143 2]

My husband of 6 years and I have never cheated on each other. However, he is in the military and it seems to be the norm around here. Lucky, I have a very trustworthy man.

[ladysplenda 1]

My first husband cheated. After I divorced him I found out it was several times. I thought he might be.( Sometimes we know in our heart but just cannot accept it.) I should have gone with what I felt and knew in my heart in the first place.