Cheating..No, not with food!

[Carlene 12]

Hi Carlene,

I know it's a recipe for disaster. That's why I wrote in this forum. I HAD to tell someone my feelings. I'm not looking for advice. I know to put a damper on it. This is just something I feel that I'm going thru due to feeling so good now and being more attractive again.

About the age....I never said I was looking for a long-time romance or anything of the sort. I know how much older I am than him. I just feel an attraction not that I would EVER act on it!

No, I'm not a grandmother yet..but would love to be anytime.

I'm not offended by anything said...just feel that I needed an outlet for my feelings not advice.

Thank goodness! You scared me with all that stuff about "Mrs Robinson". We all know what happened with her and Dustin Hoffman (although I never did understand what she saw in him).

I understand how great it is to feel seductive again. My DH (who's also banded and has lost over 75 pounds) likes to take short road trips to hotels that have honeymoon packages. He is especially fond of rooms with extra large hot tubs. Even if I were tempted, I wouldn't have the energy left over for a 20 year old....LOL.

[carolel 0]

Hi again Carlene,

I DO feel very seductive. I'm not sure what's actually going on with me. My DH is concerned because my sex drive is so high! :girl_hug: :target: He tells me that I've GOT to cool it. I ilke hot-tubs too. I have one and get in it daily. DH won't though. He thinks it's yucky with body oils coming off of you. I tell him that's what the chemicals are for.

I also have a nice jacuzzi tub in my bath and he won't get in it either. Strange man!

Anyhow...back to the young guy. If I were 20 years younger and unmarried.....it'd be no problem. I'd be after him in a nano second. He wouldn't know what hit him.

As for him being 20...and you saying he's still a boy....I tend to disagree somewhat...My husband was 19 when we maried and very much a man.

But...belive me..I won't be messing with this young guy...no way I'd risk everything I have.

[Carlene 12]

As for him being 20...and you saying he's still a boy....I tend to disagree somewhat...My husband was 19 when we maried and very much a man.

I married a 17 year old....but I was 17, too. That makes a huge difference. When I said he was "still a boy", I meant compared to really grown up people, like you and your DH. At 20, how many of us have any actual experience under our belts? I thought I knew everything back then, but in retrospect, I realize that the only subjects I knew "everything" about were pretty shallow.

PS....I wanted to go to Six Flags Over Texas (theme park) for my first wedding anniversary. Yep....I was sooooooo mature.

[EVA 0]

I've never cheated on my husband though Ive been given the opportunity. He cheated on me when we were dating but then again I think people have different expectations of dating and you can never know your on the same page till you talk about it sadly we talked about it and thats when I found out. He knows if he would cheat now he would be out with all his belongings lol. Weve been together since that happened for 8 years. so far so good lol

[Lee4love1 0]

Hi there...I am recent banded Man--(March 28th-2007). I am right at 33 pounds lost--kind of slow--but I won't complain.

Cheating--sometimes we meet cheaters and we feel that we are in a great loving relationship. Then our walls come tumbling down. I have felt that pain that no drug, no alcohol drink can make numb.

I have tried to stay to myself--like stop dating. I have looked at many of the people around me. It seems to be rampant.Many have forgot all about HIV or the repricussions of their marriage or relationship will bring--if the other party found out. I have said--to many times to my neighbors--one of the ones who's cheating--Thank God I am single and loving it. This was a mother who I know.

Our world has changed dramatically now. What was once right--is now wrong. What's wrong seems to be the norm for many.

At my age of "fifty"(50)..I am so shocked and sometimes afraid--I say--My hurt throughout life is enough for me.Since I'm a single father of 2 boys--11 and 9. I would hate to see them be hurt. They were hurt already from a cheating Mom--who happened to be my wife. She walked away--7 years ago. Fearing my anger would turn Violent. Never would I ever hit a Woman who was about 120 lbs-all of 5'4"...I will soon be tired of my exile of 2 years upcoming in August...

[aprilbell77 0]

Ok, I can't believe I'm digging this thread out of the bowels of old posts, but I have been bursting to talk about my situation.

What I'm about to say is gonna piss some people off, but this is my experience and I own it.

I have been married to DH for 7 years. I am a sex-a-holic and he is not. I have to have sex frequently, and he's cool going at it only once every other blue moon.

I do have a sexual affair outside of my marriage with one other man. My DH cannot provide me with what my sexual needs are, so I go look for it outside our marriage.

And the kicker...DH knows I go outside the marriage for sex.

DH knows that I love him, and not the other man. I have GREAT sex with the other man, but that's all it is...SEX. With my DH, we show love to one another & we have GREAT sex every once in a blue moon.

And another kicker...the other man is married to a different woman, but he is in the same boat I am. He loves sex and needs it all the time, and she doesn't need it all the time.

For me, sex and love are 2 very different things .

[Boo Boo Kitty 3]

Ok, I can't believe I'm digging this thread out of the bowels of old posts, but I have been bursting to talk about my situation.

What I'm about to say is gonna piss some people off, but this is my experience and I own it.

I have been married to DH for 7 years. I am a sex-a-holic and he is not. I have to have sex frequently, and he's cool going at it only once every other blue moon.

I do have a sexual affair outside of my marriage with one other man. My DH cannot provide me with what my sexual needs are, so I go look for it outside our marriage.

And the kicker...DH knows I go outside the marriage for sex.

DH knows that I love him, and not the other man. I have GREAT sex with the other man, but that's all it is...SEX. With my DH, we show love to one another & we have GREAT sex every once in a blue moon.

And another kicker...the other man is married to a different woman, but he is in the same boat I am. He loves sex and needs it all the time, and she doesn't need it all the time.

For me, sex and love are 2 very different things .

I applaud you for being honest in your relationship and with us, it takes guts! I am glad that your situation is working for you! I agree that the 2 can be absolutely different.

[green 6]

I agree with Boo Boo K.

[demsvmejm 5]

Since this is the "cheating" forum, perhaps someone could give me some advice......

My husband cheated on me 3 yrs ago. I found out about this just last year. I have very few details.

Yes, I went snooping, Sometimes when things don't add up, and things don't feel right, you just need to know the truth.

Last week she "stumbled" across his web-site for his business and emailed him. What should I do? He now has his emails from that website forwarded to a private one, I'm guessing so he can email her in secret.

I don't want to come across as an immature psycho wife, but damn...I don't know what to do.

Should I try to get his password from the web design guy to monitor the emails?

Should I email her and tell her to back off??!

Or just ignore this whole thing?

[green 6]

I would be inclined to confront him with what you know and see what he says. Then the two of you can figure out what to do about this situation.

[Boo Boo Kitty 3]

I would be inclined to confront him with what you know and see what he says. Then the two of you can figure out what to do about this situation.

I agree, if you confront her you may just make it worse! I think open honest communication is the best route between you two! Good luck!

[mrspruett 0]

demsvmejm- don't ignore it. You deserve better than that. The fact that he is having the emails forwarded is what would make me upset. Confront HIM. He is the one you have a commitment with. Then, (as the ever wise green says) the two of you work together to stop her from interfering in your lives. He may have to make a choice...

[Wheetsin 714]

For me, sex and love are 2 very different things .

My friends hate it when I say this (except one who agrees), but sometimes people just need to have an affair. I personally am not one of those people, but for some it really is the best thing.

[ShineNSta 0]

<p>Mine is a difficult situation..My man and I have been together for 7 years...I chased him for 2 years before we got together. During that time we had a 'friends with benefits' situation which I was happy with at the time, but I had asked him to tell me if he ever found someone else or got back with his ex. He never told me, but I found out later on down the track that he had continued sleeping with his ex after they broke up (even while he and I were sleeping together). It cut me really badly but in his mind he had done nothing wrong because he said it was physical only and he had no intention of getting back with her, so it didn't (and still doesn't) constitute cheating, although he now recognises that he should have told me. He has never cheated on me since we've been together, but I still watch him like a hawk!</p>

PS: He stopped sleeping with his ex when he realised that I was the one he wanted to be with - they no longer speak.

[Chrisann 0]

I was with my ex for 12 years when we decided to get married. We started dating in college, we were both 19. He got abusive, physically and mentally in year 11, but still we planned the wedding. A month before the wedding, he left his wallet on the dresser open. I went to close it, and out falls this paper with a girl's name, number and date on it. The date was the previous weekend when he was supposed to be working while I was visiting my parents in upstate NY.

Needless to say, I didn't mention it to him, just called her. Turns out, he had met her in the Summer, it was now November, and she thought we had broken up. I never saw this.

So, in the end, I threw him out and called off the wedding, not because of the abuse, but because he was cheating. It was just 3 weeks before we were supposed to be married.