Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Cheating..No, not with food!



Have you ever been in a marriage where there was cheating involved  

32 members have voted

  1. 1. Have you ever been in a marriage where there was cheating involved

    • I have cheated in my marraige
      134
    • My significant othere has cheated in our marraige
      87
    • I have never cheated and neither has my spouse
      498
    • I have never cheated, but my spouse has
      103


Recommended Posts

Hubby and I have been together for almost 6 years. We have a very open relationship we talk about everything.

I got married at 23 and had been around enough guys to know that when I found him I didn't want to ever be with anyone else.

There are marriages that last without the cheating and drama. :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I am proud to say that I have been married 13 yrs November 20th and my husband and I have never been with anyone else. I mean never. We were each others first and will be each others one and only until one of us dies which I pray is not for many many years.

I have a great example. My mom and dad have been married for 34 yrs and have never been unfaithful to each other. They act as in love as the day they got married if not more. My brother and his wife have been married for 9 1/2 yrs. and they have been thru so much since they got married.

My brother fractured his back in several places and also his neck. He has had 3 major surgeries. He has had titanium rods put in his back 2 times and his neck once. This has put a tramendouse strain on their marriage financially and emotionally because my brother has not been able to work in 5 1/2 yrs since the accident so my sister in law works full time. It makes things hard at times but they are determined to deal with it together.

My dad had a similar injury and has not worked since he was 35. This causes depression and yet my mom has never once resented him. I guess that is why my brother and I have marriages that are strong because we have such a good example in our parents.

My fat

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My husband and I have never cheated on each other...but, my husband was in his year-long 'separation' court- mandated before divorce from his first spouse when we met, so I suppose that's technically cheating on his part....

My parents were married for 37 years before my father's untimely death at 60, so I had a good example, too!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I cheated on my husband and it was the worst thing I could have ever done to myself. Partly because I fell in love with a man who lives in NYC and I'm in CA. We work together. Our business trips would turn into romantic engagements. I came clean with my husband but it is still difficult because I care for the other man. I have only spoken to him 1 x in 7 months and a few emails. So now I am working on 100%

abstinence. I can't contact him because I love him too much and it will destroy my marriage. In the end, I guess I'm a better person but truthfully I don't think it was worth the pain ...the pain I am still in.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I cheated on my husband and it was the worst thing I could have ever done to myself. Partly because I fell in love with a man who lives in NYC and I'm in CA. We work together. Our business trips would turn into romantic engagements. I came clean with my husband but it is still difficult because I care for the other man. I have only spoken to him 1 x in 7 months and a few emails. So now I am working on 100%

abstinence. I can't contact him because I love him too much and it will destroy my marriage. In the end, I guess I'm a better person but truthfully I don't think it was worth the pain ...the pain I am still in.

Sorry you are going through this. I don't mean to come across wrong, but all you mention is the pain you are in because you are torn with your feelings, but what about the pain your husband is in. How has he dealt with everything? Just curios.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

He forgave me. But I know I've been selfish because I haven't felt the level of regret I should. We are working it out but the process has been difficult.

Thank you for being honest and not taking that the wrong way. It just made me think how I would react if I was in his shoes. I know it is tough on you too. I am sure you love your husband too or your wouldn't be so conflicted and trying to work things out. Good luck to you and your husband, sincerly.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Well, My DH had an affair on me and we went thru months and months of therapy and a separation. He was truly sorry, and I ended up forgiving him but it was the most painful thing I had ever endured. To love someone and they ruin the trust and respect you have for them. He ended up moving out (this was by the way 10 years ago), and we actually started dating again and rekindled the love we had when we first met.

I'm happy to say that we got thru that nightmare and we have the best marriage now that I could ever have hoped for. I remember my therapist saying that if we could get thru this affair, our marriage would be stronger. And she was right. I trust him now, and he has proven to me that he would never do that again. He makes sure he is never put into a situation again like that. He is often invited out to lunch by the girls in his office, and he refuses or the few times he has gone, he has invited me to join them.

Cheating on someone is so hurtful to the one being cheated on and it is wrong. If you feel like you need to cheat, then I believe you need to get out of the marriage. Love that person enough to be honest with them and let them find someone else that won't cheat on them. Thats my opinion.

My husband & I case is rare, I was able to forgive, and in time, have pretty much forgotten about it. But I promise you this, if it did ever happen again, I wouldn't stick around, I could not go thru it again.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

As an aside I'm very believing of the statistics that say women cheat in about the same quantity as men - they just don't get caught.

As a personal example, and knowing it means nothing statistically, the first three instances of infidelity I witnessed(ever) were at school. It was night college and the class was mostly married people. Since each class went on to the next with roughly the same people I spent about 2+ years with the same 20 people. A lot of dirty laundry aired.

I personally knew, not suspected but knew, of three instances of cheating going on in the class. All three of the women were married. Two divorced their husbands after the cheating. Of the men two were married and one had a girlfriend. None of the men broke up with the women they had relationships with. As one married woman in my study group said, "I'm never letting my husband come to this school!"

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My husband and I have been married for over 11 years andwe have never cheated on each other. Who has the time. We enjoy spending time with our family. I married my best friend. The mutual love, respect, and admiration is something that I don't think I could ever find with someone else. This man knows all of my faults and bad habits and loves me more than I deserve.

If I would have judged my husband by his looks the first time I met him, I may never have given him a chance. He will never be the best looking man in the room in most peoples eyes. To me he is a 10. I have met many very goodlooking guys in my life and the longer I knew them the uglier they got. My husband still gets better looking every day. My advice is to stop looking for a good looking man and start looking for a good man.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

OMG!!! I've been married 30 years. I love my husband dearly and would never wat hiim hurt but......I'm 47 and extremely attracted to a relatively new friend of my son. He's 20. I know! He's young!!!!

He feels the attraction too..I can tell by his actions but I know he doesn't know what to think of his feelings. I don't know what to think of mine either. My God! This is The Graduate all over again. He's around all the time and I know if anything happened and was found out that it would devastate my child and my husband. I almost feel like a pervert about all this, then I think I'm just a sexually healthy woman with a new body!

I'm tormented by this!! I think of him constantly...I mean constantly. he just left my home a few minutes ago and I was so sad to see him leave. I love being in his presence. My God, he's my son's age!!!!

Mrs. Robinson I am.

I feel great after losing 75 pounds and I must say I look great too. he didn't know me at my high weight.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Carole...

This is a recipe for disaster. Please do not ever allow yourself to be alone with this boy (and he is just a BOY - not yet a man). Remember that when he is your age, you will be 74. Think you'd be interested in a 74 year old partner? Probably not....and neither will he.

My advice is to put a damper on it, grandma.

PS....Lest you take offense, you may not be a grandmother yet, but you are certainly old enough. I was a grandmother at 42.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi Carlene,

I know it's a recipe for disaster. That's why I wrote in this forum. I HAD to tell someone my feelings. I'm not looking for advice. I know to put a damper on it. This is just something I feel that I'm going thru due to feeling so good now and being more attractive again.

About the age....I never said I was looking for a long-time romance or anything of the sort. I know how much older I am than him. I just feel an attraction not that I would EVER act on it!

No, I'm not a grandmother yet..but would love to be anytime.

I'm not offended by anything said...just feel that I needed an outlet for my feelings not advice.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • cryoder22

      Day 1 of pre-op liquid diet (3 weeks) and I'm having a hard time already. I feel hungry and just want to eat. I got the protein and supplements recommend by my program and having a hard time getting 1 down. My doctor / nutritionist has me on the following:
      1 protein shake (bariatric advantage chocolate) with 8 oz of fat free milk 1 snack = 1 unjury protein shake (root beer) 1 protein shake (bariatric advantage orange cream) 1 snack = 1 unjury protein bar 1 protein shake (bariatric advantace orange cream or chocolate) 1 snack = 1 unjury protein soup (chicken) 3 servings of sugar free jello and popsicles throughout the day. 64 oz of water (I have flavor packets). Hot tea and coffee with splenda has been approved as well. Does anyone recommend anything for the next 3 weeks?
      · 1 reply
      1. NickelChip

        All I can tell you is that for me, it got easier after the first week. The hunger pains got less intense and I kind of got used to it and gave up torturing myself by thinking about food. But if you can, get anything tempting out of the house and avoid being around people who are eating. I sent my kids to my parents' house for two weeks so I wouldn't have to prepare meals I couldn't eat. After surgery, the hunger was totally gone.

    • buildabetteranna

      I have my final approval from my insurance, only thing holding up things is one last x-ray needed, which I have scheduled for the fourth of next month, which is my birthday.

      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • BetterLeah

      Woohoo! I have 7 more days till surgery, So far I am already down a total of 20lbs since I started this journey. 
      · 1 reply
      1. NeonRaven8919

        Well done! I'm 9 days away from surgery! Keep us updated!

    • Ladiva04

      Hello,
      I had my surgery on the 25th of June of this year. Starting off at 117 kilos.😒
      · 1 reply
      1. NeonRaven8919

        Congrats on the surgery!

    • Sandra Austin Tx

      I’m 6 days post op as of today. I had the gastric bypass 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×