Cheating..No, not with food!

[kimalicious 5]

My husband cheated on me twice. It is the most hurtful experience you could ever go through. The 1st time I ran across his credit card statement with a hotel charged expense (how dumb). I am one that truly believes that what is hidden in the dark shall come out in the light and that is what happened.

The 2nd time he cheated with a married women. The way they met was both of them including me and her husband were in the same wedding party. Believe it or not, the way I found out is because the girl suddenly died and he felt that when that happened GOD was telling him something and he confessed it too me. I had no clue this relationship was going on. Again, done in the dark...comes to the light. We are still together and I have forgiven him but I will never forget nor will I ever let my guard down. It's something that I logged onto this thread as it so relates to my life. Just an hour ago my husband and I were discussing separation. I am just not really happy and his priorities with his free time are not in order. One thing for sure is that he is the best father in the world. What should I do? I want to stay in the house but he said he wanted to stay in the house during the 1 year separation period, if we decide to go through with it. We have an 18 year old leaving for college on August 7th and a 10 year old who loves us both and would be devasted by this. Do you think it is worth it to stay together just for the sake of the children? I don't because if you are not happy how can you make someone else happy.

I have never cheated on him. I think I am a good hard working mother. I have been working for the Fed Govt. for 18 years, I cook, keep the house clean, keep groceries in the fridge, no I am not perfect but I think someone else would appreciate me much more! Advice is needed. Thank you for your honesty. I am trying to make the best decision and way all the options etc.. LOL

To me, and in my own opinion I couldn't even live with the man that cheated on me, I don't care how old the kids are or how long you have been married. 1 year of seperation? That seems lofty. TO be away from each other so long and to think that you could make it back from that. I believe whoever is going to be taking care of the children should have the house, so long as they can afford it on their own. Depending on what state you are in you are entitiled to child support and alimony. The children can't be happy if their parents aren't happy. I don't have children myself but come from a broken home. At least both of your children are old enough to understand what is going on and I can bet you they know a lot more than you have told them. This will probably be one of the hardest decisions you will ever have to make and I wish you well in your thoughts and my only logical advise I can give you is to get a lawyer right away! Good luck in your decisions.

[Chickie 15]

Ladies.

Men usually cheat because the opportunity arises and also because they are not getting what they want from home! Men , like women like to know they still have what it takes to attract the opposite sex. Men do not want another relationship if they are married. They just want some fun!!!

If my husband waited 10 yeas for me ( & fun), I trust that he is not going to go elsewhere for sex.

Why is it wrong for people to have faith in their partner?

[Pattman 0]

Pattman , I am so sorry you are going through this. No amount of money is worth being in a place so unloving. Are ya'll seeking counseling or putting a plan into place to make things better? I would like to know some ideas.

I've asked her about counseling (both seperately and/or together) and she has told me 'that she's looking in to it' - that is as far as things go. She has already accused me of cheating on her, and I am at the point where I really don't even care anymore.

I realize these are just excuses we are both using, but it is also a big part of the truth:

1. My job takes a lot out of me:

a. for her she works 5am to 3pm 5 to 6 days a week.

b. I work til 6 or 8 most days

c. my days off are spread apart, and during the week (tues and Thur) she has weekends off

But like I already said, this is the tip of the excuses. These days I just go to work, do stuff around the house as best I can, and when she "feels like not being alone in bed" she crawls over to come see me. That's pretty much the extent of things. I've gotten tired of getting pushed away, even by her subconscious) so don't bother her before or after she's gone to sleep.

It not fun, but does it really matter anymore?

[foodstampchamp 3]

I fin it interesting that people are so adamant about these results not being correct. What if they are? Is that going to shatter your world? !

Would it shatter YOUR world if the results were incorrect?

[FunnyDuddies 6]

It doesn't :tea: I am commenting on the fact that these results have driven people to post that they have to be wrong. Commenting on the human condition. Frankly i could care less what is going on in someone else's relationship. No offense people, and I think it is great that those who have stuck together have, but I have my own relationship to focus on. My comments are soley focused on the negative aspect that some people have towards the results because, in some cases, it doesn't ring true to the life they lead off this site. I find that facinating!!

[foodstampchamp 3]

I thought this was a board where we could express opnions negative or positive. I could be wrong. I'm a newbie when it comes to this message board or any message board for that matter. :tea: I enjoy playing devil's advocate. Is that not okay?

[kimalicious 5]

Results will obviously be biased since I am on a lapband website. If I was just taking a poll from msnbc it would not be so biased. There are obviously more women on this site than men and to put it plainly (please don't throw your shoe at me) We are all mostly overweight and dealing with those issues. Overweight people ( I FEEL) have less opportunity to cheat because there is less opportunity for for advances as it is than say your regular fit and hot person. That is from my own experince from skinny and hot to fat and ok. The advances and opportunity are way down therefore the opportunity to actually cheat is way down. I know that most will disagree with this statement but it is just my own living through it to see it. Any thoughts??

[Leila 0]

So this poll shows so far that around 44% of people have either cheated or been cheated on.

Things I wonder about / food for thought.

If statistics say 80% of men cheat, 60% of women cheat.

Would our statistics be different if we had an options in the poll for -

- Both me and my spouse have cheated.

- No cheating in my current marriage but I have been cheated on in past relationships.

- No cheating in my current marriage but I have cheated in past relationships.

- No cheating in my current marriage but in previous relationships I have been cheated on, and I have cheated.

- I don't know that I've been cheated on, but I highly suspect that I may have in my current marriage.

-I don't know that I've been cheated on, but highly suspect I have been cheated on in the past.

The other thing I find interesting in is the study I heard, they say the people who know/suspect they've been cheated on is only 30% of women and 10% of men. In our poll 25% of people say they know they have been cheated on. (Not just suspected but know) - which would actually be a higher representation than the study numbers. In this area of the study.

Things that make you go hmmmmmm.

Again, I have no idea how accurate that info is. Though it seems a lot of people here have heard the 80% of men cheat thing as well.

[FunnyDuddies 6]

I thought this was a board where we could express opnions negative or positive. I could be wrong. I'm a newbie when it comes to this message board or any message board for that matter. :tea: I enjoy playing devil's advocate. Is that not okay?

Simmer down now. I never said that you can't express your opinion. I simply asked for explination, and for the thoughts behin your opinion. Plus I have state mine. Don't think for a second because I challenge your opinion I am telling you you can't express it. I am simply questioning the basis for your opinion like people do in debates.

An leila, that is a thing that makes you go hmmmm, but keep in min that it would only stand that people are not being truthfull if the same people who clicked answers for the poll also answered in the thread. This is not a controlle enough environment to make those considerations. I myself have not answered the poll, only posted. I rarely answer many polls. So that will skew the results some. Also, your percentage totalys are affected by the other poll answers being checked more often. If 30 people post, but 80 people answer the poll, the percentages will vary.

[foodstampchamp 3]

Simmer down now. I never said that you can't express your opinion. I simply asked for explination, and for the thoughts behin your opinion. Plus I have state mine. Don't think for a second because I challenge your opinion I am telling you you can't express it. I am simply questioning the basis for your opinion like people do in debates.

simmer down? :tea: I'm sorry, did I seem excited?:bowl:

[foodstampchamp 3]

well everyone, I would love to stay and chat, but I have to head home from a long night of working graveyards. I like this thread. Very interesting. (Would be so much better without all the pain of cheating for those of you that has happened to.) Can't wait to get back online tonight and see what more has been posted. Night ya'll.

[Leila 0]

FunnyDuddies - I agree this is definitely not a controlled enough environment. And our poll is likely inaccurate. One just wonders in which ways it's innaccurate, and what people are more likely to represent in a forum such as this.

I think it very unlikely that people would not answer the poll anonymously, but then post that they have cheated, or both have cheated. I do think in general people are more likely to present a positive relationship scenario in a post, with pride, in this environment than they are to present a cheating one. I think the people who have come out in the posts and talked about cheating in their lives have shown an unusual level of courage and open-ness.

So in general, I think I'm somewhat inclined to think that our poll under-represents the actual level of cheating going on. But that, is just a guess and gut feeling at best. No way to know for sure.

Stuff like this fascinates the heck out of me! LOL!

[YeeHaw 0]

I have never cheated and neither has my hubby. This is a weird thread.

[lisah25 3]

So this poll shows so far that around 44% of people have either cheated or been cheated on.

Things I wonder about / food for thought.

If statistics say 80% of men cheat, 60% of women cheat.

Would our statistics be different if we had an options in the poll for -

- Both me and my spouse have cheated.

- No cheating in my current marriage but I have been cheated on in past relationships.

- No cheating in my current marriage but I have cheated in past relationships.

- No cheating in my current marriage but in previous relationships I have been cheated on, and I have cheated.

- I don't know that I've been cheated on, but I highly suspect that I may have in my current marriage.

-I don't know that I've been cheated on, but highly suspect I have been cheated on in the past.

The other thing I find interesting in is the study I heard, they say the people who know/suspect they've been cheated on is only 30% of women and 10% of men. In our poll 25% of people say they know they have been cheated on. (Not just suspected but know) - which would actually be a higher representation than the study numbers. In this area of the study.

Things that make you go hmmmmmm.

Again, I have no idea how accurate that info is. Though it seems a lot of people here have heard the 80% of men cheat thing as well.

It would have been more accurate for me. I did cheat on a long-term relationship when I was in my early twenties. I got caught red-handed so to speak, and the pain I say on his face was terrible. So, I would be in that stat, but I also have never cheated on my husband(different guy) and I've never even been tempted to.

[Telly 4]

I've never cheated but I've wanted to. Bad I know. Just being selfish I guess.