1st Post And Need Advice!

[luv-a-bull 7]

Hi!

I am scheduled for my sleeve on Dec 13th w/ Dr. Lalor in Bowling Green, Ohio and am super excited! I had to let people at my work know what was going on as they were starting to question my time off :smile1:. I have since received both positive and negative comments from them, and the negative ones are really getting me down. I know that I am doing this for me and no one else,and I shouldn't be bothered by their comments...but truth is I am. I get comments like "if you just go on your liquid/soft diet for months without the surgery and don't eat much at all that you won't need the surgery', as well as stories of their friends that have had bariatric surgery only to gain all+some of their weight back.

So, I guess I am wondering what you guys say to these people, or just ignore them?

Sorry for the rant....just had to get it off my chest :smile1:

[SleeveDreamer 383]

Luv-a bull,

I have had two people including my best friend tell me horror stories about someone they know who have had lap band or weight loss surgery and they have nothing to say but bad about it. My repsonse to them is "Can't you support me in this and why would you even think about sharing stories like that before I have my surgery?" My docotrs both told me the only way I would lose this weight was to have it surgically removed. It is my opinion that alot of people have problems or issues because they push themselves, and maybe they go to someplace much cheaper and not get as good follow up care. I think with weight loss surgery you must have a dietician to work with. You just can't be handed a list that says week one eat..., week two eat..., week three eat..., etc. Everyone is different. These people don't know what's going on inside you, but your doctor does. I have to have a huge hiatail hernia fixed the first part of my surgery (1/3 of my stomach resting up on my chest canity). Only I know how miserable I am. They don't have a clue. Perhaps they are jealous cuz we will look better than them? LOL! Anyway just ignore them and tell them you don't want them messing with your mind cuz you need to be in a good place mentally for this procedure. You will prove them wrong anyway. Good luck! Mine is the 14th, so looking forward to going through the journey with you! Janet

[blinger12 2]

Those nay-saying idiots really get my Irish up. This is YOUR journey and no one has any right to say anything destructive. It's tough enough to make the decision to change your life in such a positive way. First, you don't owe anyone at work an explanation. I told everyone because I was happy about getting the chance to do it (and I'm an open book most of the time anyway). So much of life is about personal boundaries. When someone starts giving their negative opinion about the choices YOU are making about YOUR life, just politely but firmly tell them you are looking forward to the surgery and change the subject. Even idiots get the point.

[ProudGrammy 8,322]

Hi!

I am scheduled for my sleeve on Dec 13th w/ Dr. Lalor in Bowling Green, Ohio and am super excited! I had to let people at my work know what was going on as they were starting to question my time off :smile1:. I have since received both positive and negative comments from them, and the negative ones are really getting me down. I know that I am doing this for me and no one else,and I shouldn't be bothered by their comments...but truth is I am. I get comments like "if you just go on your liquid/soft diet for months without the surgery and don't eat much at all that you won't need the surgery', as well as stories of their friends that have had bariatric surgery only to gain all+some of their weight back.

So, I guess I am wondering what you guys say to these people, or just ignore them?

Sorry for the rant....just had to get it off my chest :smile1:

Hi, first off, rant away - this is the place to do so. we all understand. First off i'm sorry due to your time off from work you had to tell people about the WLS.

As far as doing a Protein shake, or more excercise, etc. etc. etc. what business is it of theirs?!!!!

Of course you're doing this for you, your health and all those important things. Anyone that gives you negative feedback, especially if their supposed to be your friends, are no friends of yours, so to speak. - telling you horror stories about the WLS and that people they know have gained back weight etc. OMG - this is unbelievable to me that they would say this. But for whatever reason, there are people like this saying this stuff, full of doom and gloom - try and ignore them. I know its easier said then done. Sorry I can't think of any witty things to say to these" "PEOPLE". They are obviously not nice and get pleasure on putting other people down for whatever crazy reason they think they have. Whether, their jealous or just normally nasty. Ignore them .

You're the only one you need to do this for, and ignore those others. Your new and healthier life begins soon, 12/13/11! All though I've never been to Bowling Green Ohio - it sounds like a great place , after all its a founder of you right!

Head and chin up - you'll do great, all your fellow sleevers are right behind you blowing like the wind all those nasty people who say those horrible things into the air and out of the galaxy.

Hope I helped a little

kathy

[Amanda131 214]

Smile, let them know you have considered all options/drawbacks and this is the best course for you, then change the subject. People like that really want to get your dander up. When they realize it's not going to happen they usually stop. The easiest way to deal with it internally is to realize that these people are generally uneducated about the struggles of obesity and/or the surgery. We can't control what people say but we can always control how we respond and how it affects us. Best of luck!

Amanda

[luv-a-bull 7]

Thank you guys so much for all your replies-it has helped more than you know! Just needed a little encouragement and some positive thoughts to refocus, I guess . I am super excited to get sleeved, and just have to keep focusing on the positive comments, and believing in myself.

Janet-congrats on your surgery date as well-it will be nice to share the journey!

[IslandGrrl 11]

For those who try the old "eat less and exercise more" (or some variation including the "pretend you had the surgery and eat like that") I cut them off mid-lecture with "I've tried that numerous times and have been unsuccessful, and that is why I'm pursuing this alternative. For those with the horror stories, I curtly say that everyone is different, and that I have done my research and am aware of all the possible outcomes. I then look at them without saying anything more, and they usually drop the subject. In one case, I used the above tactics, and instead of walking away, it opened up a very good conversation about my prior challenges and why I chose VSG. Everyone is different in how comfortable they are in dealing with intrusive questions, but in my case, I've had a lot of success with the direct approach.

[Jo Jo 2]

OMG I can't stand people sometimes. I went through the same thing... You know what I discovered, is the people that had neg things to say was people that had their own weight issues. They don't want to see you get thin and beautiful. You will find out who your true friends are in the long run. You know You..... You know how long you have struggled with your weight and how hard it must have been or you wouldn't be in this boat. It's not that dam simple to just eat soft foods and drink Protein Shakes for a year without surgery. The surgery forces you to eat right or u will get sick. Some of us need an extra tool. Do this for yourself and your health down the road. The hell with what anyone says. You have to carry around the extra pounds or end up dead from being over wieght. Sorry but it's true. It bothered me too, but now that I'm one month out and 27 pounds lighter, I don't care what anyone thinks. It's all about YOU>>>>>>

[Paola 62]

For a long time I resisted the idea of WLS, I wanted to drop all the weight I had gained over the years on my own. One day, not long ago I realized I was letting pride and stubbornness get in the way of my health. I never had any negative comments, everyone around me has watched me struggle with my weight all my life. That being said, if I had someone say something negative to me I'd tell them that WLS is a tool to help me lose weight, and keep the weight off. WLS starts with your stomach, thats the relative easier part, the hard part is knowing that this is a lifestyle change, and that you are up to the challenge. Like any tool, if its not used right it won't work. WLS doesn't automatically means you'll lose all your excess weight if you don't work hard to lose it, you will have to learn to eat whats right for you for the rest of your life. I used to think that if I had WLS I was giving up on myself, but know I know different, I know its up to me to make it work. WLS can only do so much, we have to do the rest!

[jasleeve 440]

i think we have all either been there & done that or are going through it or will be going through it. trust & believe, youre not the first nor are you the last person who will feel how you do.

i think people who have negative things to say about surgery are one of two things!

1. COMPLETE HATERS! dont want to see you progress. like to see others be miserable. want to feel like they are bettter than you, etc.

2. WORRIED! sometimes people who genuinely love you and care for you will worry & will say anything to change your mind. not because they dont want to see you happy but because they have heard HORROR stories.

WE ALL KNOW that WLS has a bad name but you know what they say, "DONT JUDGE A BOOK BY ITS COVER!" people who say negative things are just ignorant/uneducated when it comes to WLS. the reason we choose WLS because we chose to educate ourselves on it. we became curious for our own personal reasons & we began researching!

yes, some people fail but those who fail choose to fail. those who gain their weight back, choose to do so. as sleevers or future sleevers, we always read that "our sleeve is a tool... not a magic fix!"

it takes hard work & dedication. the only thing the sleeve does is give us restriction. it helps those who eat thanksgiving dinner for every meal! we still need to diet & exercise!

so when you do come across the 2 types of people listed above, tell them that you know what youre doing. you did your research & youre happy & content with your decision. tell them that this isnt a downgrade in life. this is an upgrade! its the difference between renting an apartment & buying a house!

im sorry for making this so long. i just remember my reaction when someone recommended WLS to me. lol. she had it & was standing in front of me looking slim & i wanted to slap her! i was highly offended. after seeing her 2 more times, i began asking her about it more & more & i jumped on it quick! that lady saved my life!

[StrasVegasGirl 1]

Luv-a-bull,

I had my surgery in Cleveland, Ohio. I only told a handful of people at work because I had heard some make previous negative comments over the years about others who had gone down this path. I made this decision because of what another person who had gastric bypass said to me...she had missed out on so much with her children who were now 13 and 16. That one comment was all it took for me to make this decision. My kids are only 4 and 5 and I could make a difference now. I am now two weeks post op and everything is going smoothly. My highest weight was 310. I was 297 two weeks before surgery and my scale at home this morning read 280. This is worth it as long as we use it as a tool and make the necessary changes in our diet. I'm able to start walking more frequently which I know will also help with the scale. You don't owe anyone an explanation for why you are choosing this path for your life. You are going to do great!

[omamilam 11]

I am excited for you. I can hardly wait to have mine. I have chosen to not tell anyone but my hubby and children because of that very issue. Its no one else's business. I plan on telling people I'm taking some time off for myself and doing some things I haven't had time to do. Then if they ask how I lost all the weight I will tell them with lots of hard work and dedication and that won't be a lie.

I would suggest trying a few Protein Shakes or get recipes from others on the forum before your surgery so you will not be experimenting with stuff and you will know what you like and can tolerate. There are even fruit based Proteins. One called Nector but I haven't tried it yet. Hang in there and Good Luck!

[Lauraann 11]

Luv a bull,

I am having my surgery on Monday November 28 by my boss Dr Timothy Duckett in Maumee Ohio. I have had my girls at work ask me if I would want Dr Lalor to do it instead, my answer to them is no because if something is going to happen it is going to happen, I have worked at my job for 25 years I trust him hole heartedly. One of my very good friends had hers done by Dr Lalor in Late July, she is down 52 lbs and doing great and you will do fine too.

As far as time off Dr D has told me to take the full 2 weeks off it is time to put attention on ourselves during this journey, we are always doing things for our families and putting ourselves last this is the time for us.

Good luck to you! This website is awesome, you will recieve lots of support from them when you need it.

Laura

[jasleeve 440]

i drink nectar! its the only one i can tolerate. i drink lemonade but i also like fruit punch & i think i liked sour apple. my boyfriend loves fuzzy navel & strawberry mousse.

I am excited for you. I can hardly wait to have mine. I have chosen to not tell anyone but my hubby and children because of that very issue. Its no one else's business. I plan on telling people I'm taking some time off for myself and doing some things I haven't had time to do. Then if they ask how I lost all the weight I will tell them with lots of hard work and dedication and that won't be a lie.

I would suggest trying a few Protein Shakes or get recipes from others on the forum before your surgery so you will not be experimenting with stuff and you will know what you like and can tolerate. There are even fruit based Proteins. One called Nector but I haven't tried it yet. Hang in there and Good Luck!

[JoMorr8134 1]

I completely understand what you are going through. I was supposed to have my VSG surgery on Wednesday (11-23), it was canceled because I have a cold! On top of that, my father in law was at my house for Thanksgiving and proceeded to tell me he was so worried for me and having this surgery. He told me how over weight I am and how it is so unhealthy for me, worried about my knees. then how he is still in the same size at he was in high school. He said my mother in law needed to loose weight as well. He is always on some rampage. But I hate dealing with this crap! I can never do anything right according to him. In the back of my mind I just kept telling myself that I am doing this for me, I am excited and I will do it!!! He is the mind set that we don't eat Breakfast or lunch when he is here. We all have to wait until he is ready for dinner at 6 or 7. My husband and I have small children and I stand up to him and tell him the kids need to eat, but that usually ruffles his feathers and then he told me my daughter only needed a yogurt and she would be fine until dinner!!! Anyway, about the "Nayayers" my father in law is the king of them! I have to keep in mind that this will be for me finally. I will take care of myself, and I have a reason too! I am just bummed that I have to wait until Dec. 21 until my surgery. I will be here to cheer you on!!