Skinny girl issues...WTH!!!!!

[SouthernSleever 228]

As far as friends wanting you to lose weight all my friends were for it too but they don't realize that you might be smaller than them. Everyone was so supportive when I started losing weight but once I got smaller I got the whole "Woah! You are getting too skinny!" which really means, "OMG YOU ARE SMALLER THAN ME! STOP IT!" Oh well! I rarely talk to my bestfriend she was always a size 6 and I was an 18. Then she gained weight when she had her 2nd kid but was still smaller than me. Now that she's a 20 and I'm an 8 I rarely hear from her. I know it must be hard and a shift in dynamics since she hinges how she feels about herself on how often guys pay her attention. I still love her and love her heart but I know it's not easy.

[luvinitcuzican 8]

I have learned in this journey that, if I have to work so hard to make a friendship work - then it's really not a real friendship at all. I just let them go. I have WAY too much on my plate right now than to add in some coddling of frustrated people! Since then, I've been sooo much happier. See? :biggrin: :biggrin5: :biggrin: :biggrin5: :biggrin: :biggrin5:

I know....it just really sucks though. What I love about this forum is that you guys get it, while nobody else does.

[China0690 1]

as long as you happy with yourself that's all that matters. people are use to seeing you heavy and they don't know how to respect the fact that you change your lifestyle.. ENVY that's all it is.. as they continue to eat the brownies and Cookies and plump up the rears... lol

You continue to do you...

[feedyoureye 3,087]

Lydia... you are one sexy grandma!

How about making a card with your Surgeons contact info on one side and the quote "I just added 2 1/2 years to my life" on the other side, just pass it to them if they have something nasty to say.

[luvinitcuzican 8]

Lydia... you are one sexy grandma!

How about making a card with your Surgeons contact info on one side and the quote "I just added 2 1/2 years to my life" on the other side, just pass it to them if they have something nasty to say.

That is awesome.......what a great idea!!!!!!!! Thank you for the compliment :biggrin:

[swizzly 901]

I think I have been very lucky so far, in that none of my actual friends has changed how they act toward me, and they've been really supportive. That said, I'm not nearby most of my friends, so they are only dealing with me in theory, rather than physically face-to-face. I hope it doesn't change things or make them awkward, but I will cross that bridge when I get there. I will also do my best to keep the relationship going if I think it's worth it, and to minimise any discomfort if I am able to. That all said, it's a VERY good point about not bending over backward for people anymore. I've become much more likely to speak my mind, not hide negative feelings, and not pursue friendships that seem to be too one-sided. Life is short, I only want REAL friends.

Anyhow, HUGS to all you going through this on a daily basis. It's not easy for your body to be a battleground...really shouldn't be that way.

[june13sleever 223]

Wear something flawless with some amazing pumps. And walk through the room like you own it. I can not wait for this! I get some comments now, AND I LOVE THEM! I am so freakin happy no one could say anything to take my happiness away - not even my boyfriend. I have lose skin right now that is looking pretty interesting to say the least, but I don't even care. My butt is almost gone, and I haven't shed one tear. I used to cry about being fat EVERYDAY! So if the **** ain't bringing me to tears, then I must not really care that much!

[Forensikchic 528]

I had to deal with the same chic again today. Started out nice saying she had some court pants I might want but I might have lost enough now for them to be too big but she would like to give them to me. I said ok. When I got them from her she told me they were WAYYYY to big for her but maybe I could wear them. To add insult to injury, she said, I would have thought you would be giving me your clothes by now instead of the other way around.

I seriously wanted to cry. I dont know how many more of these meetings with her that I can mentally handle. I am doing my best, even having surgery, and yet it seems not good enough. She is in fierce competition with me and I dont know why. I just dont want her to win so she can gloat that she lost more weight than me and I even had surgery.. I can hear it now. This is so depressing to me.

[SKCUNNINGHAM 298]

I can relate to this post. People are telling me I have lost enough weight. I am not even in the normal BMI range yet!I still weigh 150 pounds - I don't think that is "skinny" on a person who is 5'4" tall. I remember when I graduated high school at 135 pounds - my (soon to be ex)boyfriend at the time told me I would be much prettier if I would lose some weight. (SIDEBAR: I also remember at that size, I wore 12's and 14's - and now I am into 10's and 12's. So there is definatley something to this vanity sizing these days.) Someone told me "you don't need to lose any weight, your husband loves you the way you are". While that statement is true (about him loving me), he also loved me 103 pounds ago - so that is not a determinate of my stopping point. That person was well-intentioned, unlike some of the jealous nozy people who make some of the rude and stupid comments mentioned by posters on this thread.

It was nice attending a class last week where no one had ever met me before. They just thought I was a normal person - not some ex-fat person who needs to be watched like an animal in the zoo.

[fluffylibra30 323]

I had to deal with the same chic again today. Started out nice saying she had some court pants I might want but I might have lost enough now for them to be too big but she would like to give them to me. I said ok. When I got them from her she told me they were WAYYYY to big for her but maybe I could wear them. To add insult to injury, she said, I would have thought you would be giving me your clothes by now instead of the other way around.

I seriously wanted to cry. I dont know how many more of these meetings with her that I can mentally handle. I am doing my best, even having surgery, and yet it seems not good enough. She is in fierce competition with me and I dont know why. I just dont want her to win so she can gloat that she lost more weight than me and I even had surgery.. I can hear it now. This is so depressing to me.

I think this is the time to be a little rude, just tell her no thanks i dont want your clothes anymore, it doesnt seem to be worth the mental abuse. She seems to be a "mean girl" Dont even sweat her. Its only a competetion to her. Just stay oncourse and shrug her off. With friends like her who needs enemeys?

[LilMissDiva Irene 3,282]

I had to deal with the same chic again today. Started out nice saying she had some court pants I might want but I might have lost enough now for them to be too big but she would like to give them to me. I said ok. When I got them from her she told me they were WAYYYY to big for her but maybe I could wear them. To add insult to injury, she said, I would have thought you would be giving me your clothes by now instead of the other way around.

I seriously wanted to cry. I dont know how many more of these meetings with her that I can mentally handle. I am doing my best, even having surgery, and yet it seems not good enough. She is in fierce competition with me and I dont know why. I just dont want her to win so she can gloat that she lost more weight than me and I even had surgery.. I can hear it now. This is so depressing to me.

IMO, you might need to tell her something to put a cap on it. Like "I didn't know we were in a competition". That's just rude... really. I'm so sorry she's doing that to you.

Some people's children!!

[Forensikchic 528]

I think this is the time to be a little rude, just tell her no thanks i dont want your clothes anymore, it doesnt seem to be worth the mental abuse. She seems to be a "mean girl" Dont even sweat her. Its only a competetion to her. Just stay oncourse and shrug her off. With friends like her who needs enemeys?

I would definately not call her a friend. She works in my building but I only occassionally have to interact with her, thank goodness. She has always been sorta nasty to me. Once I commented on needing a haircut and style and she responded with " at least its doesnt look as bad as it used to". How to respond to that one.. I still dont know. I think I will be turning down any more of her clothes offers. Thanks for understanding and making me feel better.

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

I am sorry your feelings are so hurt, this just sucks. i have to tell you though, maybe in some kind of strange way this is a good learning experience. A friend of mind has a saying "you don't have to get on the crazy bus" meaning, it is your choice in how to react to someone's meanness (hysteria, irrationality or whatever it is).

This woman has some kind of game she is playing and she has reeled you in! I personally think that the next time she wants to discuss your size, your weight, your clothing, giving you clothing or really anything of a personal nature related you should just politely tell her to "get lost". By politely tell her i mean something like saying "no thank you, I am not interested". Or when she asks you about weight loss say something like "I am really happy with my progress" and just walk away. It will drive her bonkers as you won't be so much fun to toy with anymore, but she'll get over it and move on.

Next time she hurts your feelings and you just politely say "no thanks"... just visualize that crazy bus driving off without you and don't give her another thought. And part two of my friend's saying "don't worry, another crazy bus will come along soon, you aren't missing out"

I had to deal with the same chic again today. Started out nice saying she had some court pants I might want but I might have lost enough now for them to be too big but she would like to give them to me. I said ok. When I got them from her she told me they were WAYYYY to big for her but maybe I could wear them. To add insult to injury, she said, I would have thought you would be giving me your clothes by now instead of the other way around.

I seriously wanted to cry. I dont know how many more of these meetings with her that I can mentally handle. I am doing my best, even having surgery, and yet it seems not good enough. She is in fierce competition with me and I dont know why. I just dont want her to win so she can gloat that she lost more weight than me and I even had surgery.. I can hear it now. This is so depressing to me.

[feedyoureye 3,087]

You do not need to buy into her sickness. She is good at pushing your buttons, unless you just don't let her.

"I'm not interested in playing your competitive games" Who knows what she is actually doing to get her weight off....

... I don't wish ill will on anyone but you know, she probably will not keep it off for long.

[ILKrista 36]

Forensikchic- I feel your pain. One of my friends/coworkers was fairly supportive in the beginning (she drove me to the hospital the day of my surgery!). But as I started losing weight, she started making little jabs & comments about her not wanting me to get smaller than her & how she had clothes from when she was fat that she could pass on to me & I might eventually fit into them. The best was when I came in on a high having finally hit the 100 lb lost mark & she told me that she couldn't believe it because you really couldn't tell a difference. (The next day I brought in a before and after picture & practically shoved in her face because I know d*mn well 100 lbs makes a big difference!). Let's see, when we both were wearing size 14s, she hurried to tell me that I still looked WAY bigger than her because I was so much shorter. The day she found out that I weighed less than her (by 20 lbs) you would have thought the world was ending. At first, I really let these constant comments sting. But the truth is, I know I am doing what I need to & I am going to succeed... what she does with her life is her business & I really don't have the energy to worry about it. I have tried several times to point out to her that this is not a competition! There is no reason we both can't lose & look fab. I use the negative energy she sends my way as fuel when I am at the gym working out. And at this point, I have basically ended the friend aspect of our relationship & only see her when at work. Don't let someone make you doubt yourself or feel bad. Everyone loses at different weights & you have a tool to make your weightloss successful for the long term. And if the comments really start to get to you, just directly ask her if she is meaning to be rude or if she doesn't reallize what she is saying. Bullies turn & run when confronted directly & this coworker of yours definately sounds like a bully. Hugs.

Krista