Skinny girl issues...WTH!!!!!

[coops 1,790]

This subject carcks me up too...

With a BMI of still 30 and in a UK14, at 5'2' I am still quite hefty... although a lot smaller than before... I am not foolish enough to know or think that I am anywhere near skinny! Yet, people in work, mostly women, call me 'skinny', 'tiny' and the such-like! I have been told everyday this week that I am not to lose anymore weight... I have been told that I have, and I quote, 'not tits', I have been told that I should stop now cos I am too old to get any smaller and I have been told that I will never lose the belly fat - again due to my age. People have also said that if I lose any more I will look old and I will look ill! I have also been asked how my I weigh now...

I just let them say it... I won't get into an arguement over MY body! Over the last part of the week I have just replied with 'oh I want to maintain now'... just to shut people up.

It is annoying but I can't get into a discussion with these women because I don't want to lose my temper in work!

I agree with others when they said that NO ONE told me I was too fat; No ONE commented when my weight kept piling on and NO ONE was concerned that I wouldn't be around to 'look' old if I didn't get my health back on track.

I suppose, what we have to do is take the high road... what ever is said to us in a negative, or what is perceived to be a negative manner, should be left on the shelf along with the excess cals that we no longer want or need.

This is MY life, MY body and I will be done losing when I am good and ready... 'nuff said!

[mnbsleeve 87]

Great responses! I don't get too much of this particular thing yet. But my philosopy has always been and continues to be that what other people think of me is none of my business!!! They will think what they will think. Personally, I have bigger fish to fry... pardon the food reference! :-)

[LindaS 316]

I haven't experienced this yet, but I know it is coming. My aunt had RNY about 10 years ago. For years, my MIL would say how bad my aunt looked because she was TOO skinny. My aunt has started to gain weight back, and for a while my MIL was saying she looked good. Now my MIL is saying my aunt is too fat.

Yet no one dares tell my MIL that she is too fat. When I first decided to have surgery, she asked me a few questions. I think she was interested but soon declared she was "too old." She's 63 and doesn't work, so she would have plenty of time to recover fully. At least this thread gave me some ideas of how to respond when it is me she is talking about. :smile1:

[Shoppingbeemom 31]

I don't understand why people feel they can discuss someone else' weight with you or others. How presumptious it is to assume you would allow them to be the gardian of your personal weight.

[luvinitcuzican 8]

Oh boy...it just keep getting more and more irritating.......Yes woman are mostly the ones I deal with.......I need to learn to get over this...I know...it's just easier said than done.

I am so happy with myself, what I have accomplished and my weight loss.

The outside of me has changed dramatically ...but not the inside! I am still Lydia..I wish others could figure that out!

[luvinitcuzican 8]

Oh ya I also get messages from people on facebook!!!!!!!!!!!!!! gggggggrrrrrr

[shellnsons 7]

Keep your head up hun keep doing you and shake the haters off!!!

[luvinitcuzican 8]

Let me tell you ......all of us need to remember what obese was like forever...and to treat people the way WE want to be treated, regardless what we look like on the outside. Words can be swords and can cut people hard!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Forensikchic 528]

I am almost halfway to goal so I dont get the too skinny comments yet but I am sure they are coming... I did have a situation the other day though that I would like to share....

I told a coworker of mine about my surgery when she told me she was doing WW back in August (surgery aug 8). I didnt see her for a few weeks. She is one inch shorter than me and we wore about the same size in October ( I had dropped from 18 to 16 and she was a 16-18 too. We both have very similar builds and body types. She asked me at the beginning of November if I wanted some of her clothes she couldnt wear. I thought she meant she had some smaller clothes she wanted to give me... I said sure! I will take whatever you have since I will be inbetween sizes for a while yet... She gave me the jeans. 4 size 16 and 2 size 14. I saw her the next week (she still looks about the same as ever) and I said thanks so much for the jeans.. the 16's a bit big but I am wearing the 14's comfortably! She said to me..." I put these jeans on this morning (while pulling the waist out on her jeans to show they were big and I dont know the size) and I said..OH, its about time these wen to Tammi". OMG> she is pretending to give me her FAT clothes... WHATEVER. I was kinda pissed and didnt know how to take that. I just shrugged and went on. She is so jealous she felt like saying that to me in front of people trying to make it seem like she was winning some imaginary race with me. All this time I thought she was just trying to be nice. She even said at the beginning that she knew i would be moving through sizes fast and thought I could use them before she could. WOW.

I hope I wrote this so you can understand the situation. I am not competing with anyone and I wish I hadnt said anything to her at all. I dont want or need someone elses FAT clothes. Its quite the opposite at almost 50 pounds lost!

[swizzly 901]

I have been getting a few minor comments here and there, but mostly I am lucky to be in a location where it's not very socially acceptable to ask personal questions or make comments. But I can tell some people are thinking certain things...and I genuinely couldn't care less. People's opinions are irrelevant to my life, unless they're good friends or family...and even then I'm fine with disregarding anything rude they might say (on purpose or on accident). Women's bodies are always considered public property in a way, to be looked at and talked about; I'm a feminist and I'm not okay with that. It's my body and anyone who doesn't like anything about it can piss right off. I'm always nice in response to rudeness, but I give it no ground whatsoever.

[luvinitcuzican 8]

I am almost halfway to goal so I dont get the too skinny comments yet but I am sure they are coming... I did have a situation the other day though that I would like to share....

I told a coworker of mine about my surgery when she told me she was doing WW back in August (surgery aug 8). I didnt see her for a few weeks. She is one inch shorter than me and we wore about the same size in October ( I had dropped from 18 to 16 and she was a 16-18 too. We both have very similar builds and body types. She asked me at the beginning of November if I wanted some of her clothes she couldnt wear. I thought she meant she had some smaller clothes she wanted to give me... I said sure! I will take whatever you have since I will be inbetween sizes for a while yet... She gave me the jeans. 4 size 16 and 2 size 14. I saw her the next week (she still looks about the same as ever) and I said thanks so much for the jeans.. the 16's a bit big but I am wearing the 14's comfortably! She said to me..." I put these jeans on this morning (while pulling the waist out on her jeans to show they were big and I dont know the size) and I said..OH, its about time these wen to Tammi". OMG> she is pretending to give me her FAT clothes... WHATEVER. I was kinda pissed and didnt know how to take that. I just shrugged and went on. She is so jealous she felt like saying that to me in front of people trying to make it seem like she was winning some imaginary race with me. All this time I thought she was just trying to be nice. She even said at the beginning that she knew i would be moving through sizes fast and thought I could use them before she could. WOW.

I hope I wrote this so you can understand the situation. I am not competing with anyone and I wish I hadnt said anything to her at all. I dont want or need someone elses FAT clothes. Its quite the opposite at almost 50 pounds lost!

Yep...and be prepared for more to come from her too..........I am not friends with several people now that I am "SKINNY"...like really.......FU! It is very very very hard....i thought these people were my friends....when in reality I was only a friend to them when I was obese. SICK it's just SICK....get it together people.....I am the same person!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok I feel a little better now.... :biggrin:

[Forensikchic 528]

I kept thinking to myself after this incident that I would keep the "fat" clothes she gave me so I can give them back to her when I am a size 4! I can say... Oh.. guess its time for these to go back to Chrysti. I just love the speaking in 3rd person when you are talking directly to them as she did me.

[LindaS 316]

Since my surgery, I feel like one of my close friends has been avoiding me. I would have said we were similar in size although she is a couple inches taller. When she found out I was having the surgery, she said she weighed about 40 pounds less than I would have guessed. I didn't question it. She also said she was close to qualifying for surgery.

Anyway, since my surgery three months ago, I've only seen her about twice. The first time she was acting very concerned for me and kept saying how hard it had to be emotionally to not be able to eat and drink normally. I told her I was doing great and didn't have problems. She kept saying, "Well, yeah, but...." It was sort of like she was trying to create problems for me.

The next time I saw her, she was noticeably smaller. I made sure to comment on it. She looked good. I can't help but think my weight loss made her do something. I suspect she may be taking diet pills, but she hasn't said so. She lost about 20 pounds.

Things were still weird between us. She still seems distant and is looking for reasons I should be concerned. I'm not going to worry about it though. I need to do my own thing.

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

Weight loss... women's bodies... seems to be a very emotional topic.

I haven't had surgery yet but as I have read this thread it occured to me that I don't really have any friends that are morbidly obese. I have a few aquaintances that i know through my horse's boarding barn that are a bit overweight, but most of the people i know and associate with are quite trim. My younger sister was quite heavy, but she passed away 4 years ago (breast cancer which is known to hit obese women more often!!). I feel so far that everybody WANTS me to be successful and get this damn weight off. Maybe it is because i am high BMI of around 49, maybe because I am in my 40s and not younger, but I don't feel any of this negativity. Everyone I have told has wanted me to be a success across the board.

A key difference is that I work from home and my co-workers that I interact with are almost all guys that I only see a few times a year. It might be different if I went into an office with the social interactions there.

We'll see what happens when the weight starts coming off..

[LilMissDiva Irene 3,282]

I have learned in this journey that, if I have to work so hard to make a friendship work - then it's really not a real friendship at all. I just let them go. I have WAY too much on my plate right now than to add in some coddling of frustrated people! Since then, I've been sooo much happier. See? :biggrin: :biggrin5: :biggrin: :biggrin5: :biggrin: :biggrin5: