i'm so sad.

[ProudGrammy 8,322]

DOS is 12/6/11. Can't wait but.....

i hope its ok that i cry here. My DH I are going to CA. on Friday for 4 days. to see my 81 yr. old mother We're flying to the west coast to help her after she fell and broke her pelvis....

She has tickets for a play (she'll use a wheelchair) but i don't have anything to wear. Trust me, she wanted me to buy something nice. I went to Kohl's nothing that fit or whatever. i didn't want to spend a lot of money on an outfit i won't wear again. I don't really go out, so the outfit would be a waste of MY money since i hopefully shouldn't be able to wear that size again.

it seems my mother has always been ashamed of me and my weight. my other siblings are average weight. She knows i'm having the surgery,

I'm afraid to call her and tell her, no new outfit, but i don't want to her to see me when I arrive arrive and get mad. BTW i'm 58 years OLD.

Thanx for listening, writing this down has helped me through the tears. i don't know how to do a blog so here i am.

thanx again for your ears

kathy

[Teri L 3]

Hi Kathy,

I'm so sorry that you're feeling so sad. And I'm sorry to hear you feel your mother is ashamed of you - that is just painful to even consider.

Do you have a nice pair of black pants and pretty top? or a simple black dress? Maybe you could buy yourself some pretty earrings and necklace or a pretty scarf to dress up what you already have. Put on make up, do your hair and feel pretty for YOU.

I wish you the best, this trip should be something to look forward to and enjoy - I hope that is how your Mom sees it as well.

Big warm hug,

Teri

[ProudGrammy 8,322]

Hi Kathy,

I'm so sorry that you're feeling so sad. And I'm sorry to hear you feel your mother is ashamed of you - that is just painful to even consider.

Do you have a nice pair of black pants and pretty top? or a simple black dress? Maybe you could buy yourself some pretty earrings and necklace or a pretty scarf to dress up what you already have. Put on make up, do your hair and feel pretty for YOU.

I wish you the best, this trip should be something to look forward to and enjoy - I hope that is how your Mom sees it as well.

Big warm hug,

Teri

hi Teri, got your hug, thanx. I'll do my best of your good suggestions. Thanx for listening

[babigrl111 38]

I think a lot of us on here dont feel like going anywhere anymore, dont feel like dressing up, and are thinking "whats the use." I've been feeling like that a lot lately. But you have already made the biggest decision to get healthy and be the best you you can be! Unfortunately the hard part is sitting here and waiting for surgery to get here. Just try and keep your head up, and vent on here any time you need to, it really helps!

[ProudGrammy 8,322]

I think a lot of us on here dont feel like going anywhere anymore, dont feel like dressing up, and are thinking "whats the use." I've been feeling like that a lot lately. But you have already made the biggest decision to get healthy and be the best you you can be! Unfortunately the hard part is sitting here and waiting for surgery to get here. Just try and keep your head up, and vent on here any time you need to, it really helps!

Thanx for caring and saying those nice true things. I'll try and talk myself into feeling better and keeping my chin up, both of them :seeya:

the thought of 12/6/11 puts a :embaressed_smile: on me. thanx kathy

[Felicia 28]

Wear something you think is nice, and if your mom says anything tell her exactly what you have said here. Tell her you won't waste your money on something you are only going to wear once. Tell her you are sorry she feels you won't look nice but you will put a lot of time and effort into what you wear and you think you will look FAB!

Also, I hardly ever dress up but when I do I usually wear a cute pair of dark jeans and a nice button up shirt. Since no one ever sees me without my yoga pants or sweats they almost always think I look nice.

It's not about anyone else it is about YOU. Like someone else said you need to feel good about you and that's all that matters. The more confident you are on that night the less likely your mom will say anything. I have always heard confidence makes the woman.

Good Luck and keep your head held high.

[twoboysandagirl 109]

First of all I was there too...my husband often has to attend military functions and he always wants me to go. Before I had surgery I would "forget" to get a babysitter until the last minute and not have to go. I hated wearing the clothes that fit me. They made me look so old! I felt ashamed of my self and always though I embarresed my husband. I always felt like the fattest worst dressed women there. But you know what I dont now! as a matter of fact I am usually the smallest (not necessarily the best dressed). I love being by his side now. I know that it is uncomfortable for you now but...trust me Dec 6th is a GREAT day to have surgery...that was my date and this surgery has saved my life in so many ways. Next year you will be beggin to go out in your new clothes you will feel great and not mind spending money to make you look good. I will pray that no matter what you wear you will have a wonderful visit with your mom. I just lost my mom in September and I wish I would have flown across the country to see her more (even if she made me crazy when I did).

Blessings to you,

[Heller2u 11]

I feel for you. I also agree with the others, there are simple ways to make yourself feel pretty and acceptable. However, have you checked the clothing exchange forum on this site? There are a lot of people who can no longer wear the nice things in their closet and I for one would love to send you something if I have anything, most of them don't want anything but the cost to ship. I haven't dropped much in size yet, but you could certainly use whatever I have much more than I can. What size are you looking for? I've got a variety of sizes from 18/20 - 26/28. I'd love to help you. Send me a private message if I can help you out at all. Maybe I could take a couple pics and send some options to you.

[ProudGrammy 8,322]

DOS is 12/6/11. Can't wait but.....

i hope its ok that i cry here. My DH I are going to CA. on Friday for 4 days. to see my 81 yr. old mother We're flying to the west coast to help her after she fell and broke her pelvis....

She has tickets for a play (she'll use a wheelchair) but i don't have anything to wear. Trust me, she wanted me to buy something nice. I went to Kohl's nothing that fit or whatever. i didn't want to spend a lot of money on an outfit i won't wear again. I don't really go out, so the outfit would be a waste of MY money since i hopefully shouldn't be able to wear that size again.

it seems my mother has always been ashamed of me and my weight. my other siblings are average weight. She knows i'm having the surgery,

I'm afraid to call her and tell her, no new outfit, but i don't want to her to see me when I arrive arrive and get mad. BTW i'm 58 years OLD.

Thanx for listening, writing this down has helped me through the tears. i don't know how to do a blog so here i am.

thanx again for your ears

kathy

I found a perfect pair of black leggings and patterned purple blouse. For someone who's 58 - I look HOT!! but........

Mom just called to say she doesn't want us to go out after all cuz she is not feeling up to it.!!!!

Jokes on me, after running around for 2 days, getting all upset, oh well its funny i guess. Wiping tears again, but this time its cuz I'm laughing hard :biggrin0: thanx to all kathy WSL 12/6/11 :Banane16:

[former_vbg 198]

I know you no longer have the dilemma with what to buy for an event that you won't have to attend, but make your local thrift shops your best friend- SERIOUSLY!! You wouldn't believe some of the great clothes you can find there for basement bargain prices. You might keep this in mind as you start to loose weight after your surgery. Personally, it pains me a great deal to spend retail price on clothes except the RARE occasion I see something that I just have to have- but that is pretty rare.

[ProudGrammy 8,322]

thanx to all who wrote about my clothes dilema. I will look into a thrift shop, good idea. I don't want to spend money on clothes i hopefully will never need again.

its nice to hear from you all, giving me your nice thoughts, i appreciate it, and will keep my chin up (both of them)LOL

DOS is 12/6/11 - here i come..... kathy

[feedyoureye 3,087]

My new wardrobe is 85% thrift store... and I get tons of compliments!

[ProudGrammy 8,322]

My new wardrobe is 85% thrift store... and I get tons of compliments!

hi, i will check the thrift shop. After all i don't want to catch myself

with my pants down :Banane16: :Banane16: heres to 12/6/11 and my sleeve, can't

wait, so very excited :high5: kathy

[Pookeyism 1,143]

I feel for you. I also agree with the others, there are simple ways to make yourself feel pretty and acceptable. However, have you checked the clothing exchange forum on this site? There are a lot of people who can no longer wear the nice things in their closet and I for one would love to send you something if I have anything, most of them don't want anything but the cost to ship. I haven't dropped much in size yet, but you could certainly use whatever I have much more than I can. What size are you looking for? I've got a variety of sizes from 18/20 - 26/28. I'd love to help you. Send me a private message if I can help you out at all. Maybe I could take a couple pics and send some options to you.

Very generous of you! I started to offer the same, but then I realized the post is almost a month old...hmmmm...maybe an "upsale" post VGS post?

Also, may I suggest to everyone to keep an eye on lane bryant and women within for sales? you will be suprised! Much of your wardrobe can be tailored down a size or two as you shrink, at a fraction of the cost of replacing the clothing!

[Maddy 19]

Hi Cathy

First I want to say how brave you are to show your most venerable side to others. I know how hard if can be to want your moms approval. Being a middle child I can relate to those feelings as "acceptance". Know this and try to embrace your own feelings during this amazing process. So many things are going to change for you. Good things- your up coming surgery to name one. The battle of losing the weight will be obtainable and most of all your self worth will start to appear.

I wish you much luck in your surgery and if there is anything I can do for you. Please do not hesitate in contacting me - Maddy