Flaming and being flamed

[NancyRN 1]

Hi, I'm new to these forums. Recently I participated in a discussion on colon cleansing in the LapBand Support Forum (July 21 -- I think -- 2:07 PM). Some members were posting incorrect information made by colon-cleansing sellers to get people to buy their products. I wanted to counter those claims with scientific facts. I did not mean to flame anyone. Did I?

(See posts 15, 18-21, 24-30)

My posts engendered some heated responses, in which people posted I had jumped into the middle of a discussion (isn't that OK?), had an ax to grind, was an alarmist, etc. One post implied I was insisting I was correct, which is true -- our colons aren't lined with tar, Elvis didn't die with 60 pounds of tar inside him, etc.) I feel hurt about the thinly-veiled attacks. Was I flamed?

(See posts 31-39.)

What should I do about this? Drop out of the discussion? Ask not to be attacked personally? Apologize?

NancyRN

[Tricia K. 0]

Nancy, I haven't read the thread but I feel as though you have every right to offer your knowledge and opinion in any thread as this is an open message board. If you are getting flamed openly and/or privately, my suggestion would be to ignore it and stand firm by your beliefs and medical information.

[TexasTerry 0]

Nancy, I really don't know what you should do. People will believe what they want. Even outrageous stuff when fact proves otherwise. (how else do those fantastic tabloids stay in business?) I have not read these particular posts. I'm a "small time" poster here, but I have always thought your posts were pretty much straight up and truthful with no malice.

Just MHO.

Terry

[the best me 6]

Nancy...throw it out there, some will listen, others will not, let it ride.

If someone is really interested in more info (I was!) they'll quote you and ask on the thread (like I did), or PM you.

You can't MAKE people respond the way you know they ought to. All you can do is offer up your info.

Now, I'm going to check out the "offending" thread! LOL

[DonnaB 3]

Hey Nancy, here's my advise:

1) Make fun of the idiots who insist on believing the world is flat.

2) Don't be offended or let your feeling be hurt when they set sail to find 'the edge.'

3) Laugh uproariously at the sheeple who follow that 'leader.'

4) Enjoy the superiority of knowing you're right.

If those steps aren't satisfying, you can always FLAME BACK! lol This method really isn't effective unless you enjoy a good, pointless argument.

Sometimes a good, pointless argument is very satisfying.

This is an open forum, everyone has a right to their point of view, factual OR fantastical. As long as the discussion doesn't degenerate into name calling, board-stalking, or nuclear attack - say what you think. Just try to remember that people don't always read what you've written in the tone of voice, inflection, or emphasis that you may have intended. For example, rereading what I've written, I may be misinterpreted as being snarkastic. Some people don't appreciate or understand sarcasm as a form of comedy. Oh well.

[PhotoNut 7]

DonnaB, you rock

No snarkasm there, just fact, but I do love being a snarkastic joker.

Hey Nancy? Ya might as well get used to the fact that there are going to be people who are not mature enough to hear an opposing opinion or to allow anyone to say they are wrong. Then, when you do run across folks like that... *points to DonnaB's post with a grin*

[mousecrazy 2]

DonnaB, that was hilarious!

NancyRN...you post your input, and the people who want good factual info will appreciate it. Others, well, they won't. Most of us can tell the difference.

[Alexandra 55]

I just read the thread in question and didn't see anything that I'd call flaming. People are totally entitled to their opinions, and as long as we're respectful of others they can be shared with impunity.

[shackdog 1]

Nancy, who cares,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

[Ariel 1]

Nancy I read the thread and you were fine, don't worry about. These threads are for sharing info and experiences and that is all that you were doing.

[j.s. 0]

Nancy,

I thank you for looking at that site and I value your opinion, otherwise I would not have asked you for it personally. If somebody else reads the same material you did and they find this all plausible and what they choose to do I say.... all the power to em, hope it works for them. I know whose opinion I will stick with.... thanks again.

[CCBSTX 0]

Nancy, I am one person HAPPY that you posted the FACTS! There is so much out there about colon cleansing and such. I agree our colons aren't lined with foreign objects, worms, crust, etc. like what some unscientific/commercial products are advertising.....

Nothing bad about putting your information/imput on any thread. As long as everyone is civil and respectful. Just put out the info. and go on...

Thanks Nancy! Shawn

[Bettina 0]

Hi, I'm new to these forums. Recently I participated in a discussion on colon cleansing in the LapBand Support Forum (July 21 -- I think -- 2:07 PM). Some members were posting incorrect information made by colon-cleansing sellers to get people to buy their products. I wanted to counter those claims with scientific facts. I did not mean to flame anyone. Did I?

(See posts 15, 18-21, 24-30)

My posts engendered some heated responses, in which people posted I had jumped into the middle of a discussion (isn't that OK?), had an ax to grind, was an alarmist, etc. One post implied I was insisting I was correct, which is true -- our colons aren't lined with tar, Elvis didn't die with 60 pounds of tar inside him, etc.) I feel hurt about the thinly-veiled attacks. Was I flamed?

(See posts 31-39.)

Basically you came on like gang busters and told me that what i was saying was a bunch of sh*t, did I take offense to that? yes i did.

Why did you insist i was watching a show and not the news!? When I tried to explain, you came back with a remark that said to ask my doctor and when he got up off the floor from laughing i would know that you are right. OMG did I deserve that? It doesn't matter to me if you don't like colon cleansing...i am okay with that ...to each his own. And I appreciate that you had a different opinion, but go back and read how you responded to me. Don't drop out of the threads....its your right to be here too. But if you have something that involves cursing or having a doctor rolling on the floor you might want to PM that person so it doesn't get misconstrewed. You aren't a gastroentologist are you? I noticed people chiming in without even reading that whole mess.....this is how the crap starts! We are all here to learn --we need the different perspectives--its what makes us think. I gave this suggestion to someone else ---you seemed to have gone on and on in that thread --made you sound like a know-it-all....and I realize I am going on and on but its to try to smoothe this out not to be preachy on whether or not I think colon cleansing is good or not. Did you notice someone else in there got on a soap-box and was going on about how you can't have it done because you are banded....omg did they even notice that the thread was started by someone pre-banding and those of us responding in the beginning were all pre-banders. I hate when people get defensive before reading the whole story....which is not what you did, you were stating how you felt. (in that though i felt like you were crushing me in the process) Of course they talked about John Wayne and Elvis, both are dead and that was the point to scare people. Do I care-no because I am sure this doctor wasn't the one doing the autopsy. My thing was it was something to make you think. The reason I conveyed the whole story was so that no one thought that I knew it all ....I clearly stated that I got it off the health watch of the morning news.

So again, don't leave the boards its your right too!!. I would though ,watch your wording because typed words really have no emotion...I am sure I am coming off like a jerk right now and that is the last thing i want to do. If you heard my voice with these words you'd know.:biggrin1:

I am sorry you felt you had to come to this forum to get advise ....i happened upon it by accident. You could have posted this on the orig forum no problems...

Hmmm i just thought of something...you may have iggied me...if you did and anyone here reading this knows it, please forward to Nancy because I really want her to know that it doesn't have to be so bad.

[Jachut 487]

It depends what it is you want to say I think - what you were offering was quite reasonable in my opinion and for what its worth I agree with you.

I do hold my tongue a lot though because I disagree vehemently with the bandster rules and practices that are promoted in the US. I honestly cannot believe medical professionals are spouting such rubbish - especially myths about the carbonation stretching your pouch and the like. Protein first, then vegetables? Eeek, good way to give yourself colon cancer and miss out on your two fruit five veg if you ask me.

But nobody DID ask me and therefore whilst I sometimes mildly disagree with things I dont often come out and say what I really think, lol. But on a thread about colon cleansing, which is a somewhat "alternative" practice and which is surrounded by a lot of misinformation people are only too ready to believe, I'd speak up too.

[Bettina 0]

Isn't it funny that we are all told different things by different doctors. That is why I like Lapbandtalk.com we get the other prespective! I totally agree with what you said about the carbonation stretching the pouch...I would think that it just slips thru the hole into our big stomach....and if carbonation did indeed stretch...what on earth would bread or beer or other yeast products do to us?? I shouldn't need colon cleansing after I am banded....but what I didn't know before the postings is that a lot of people did it pre-banding to eliminate gas.....I am all over that!!!!! My first c-section I had so much gas....omg I thought I was gonna die....of course my dad came to the hospital and made me laugh so much the gas built up i thought i was gonna blow around like a leaky balloon ---should I actually let it out. Which I can't do in front of others not even my hubby-although he has no problem with it...lol. Ha ha just the topic got me giggling now.

Take care!