.... and the door slammed shut!

[yecats 109]

Hi Everyone,

I had very high hopes of being sleeved in early Jan.,heading to Mexico. It has taken me so long to get here! Everything was going so wonderful.

Passport-check, airplane tickets-check, down payment in the bank-check. After paying off two consecutive lloans off our credit union turned us down flat. Saying debt to ratio was not good any longer. Actually it has to do with how my husband pays himself through our home business mostly owner contributions. Not thinking much of it, we brought in our income tax for the last two years , from our accountant and it showed through these books our income is less than realistic, It is done properly, and absolutely on the up and up but after writing losses off our income appears much smaller Does that make any sense?

We are upside down on our house, not to uncommon considering the economy, so no home equity loan. I was shocked for some stupid reason. Here we thought it would be easy breezy, our credit was half way decent and boy did we have a rude awakening. On top of that when they ran our credit it appears to of lowered my husbands score 10 POINTS! Can that be right?

We just paid a $20k car off , in 6 years, way to long in financing years. (Not through the credit union.) I thought they would use it for colateral, it is in great shape. What a rude awakening, they said no. They do not like unsecured debt, our car is considered to old.

Then... here we are tonight one of son's comes to us with his sweet little girlfriend,fiance, "We are getting married,( her parents are loaded $ plan on paying for most everything) , would you mind pitching in on just $1500.00?".

They are planning this big whoopti-do event.

I really actually want to help my son. He is a wonderful young man, but his timing could not be worse, (my deposit amount). My reality is like an ongoing nightmare, I felt like I was going to have a panic attack, while he was talking. We said we would discuss it and get back with him.

Both my husband and I planned the financing out for the surgery. We thought all of our ducks were in a row. We planned that once we pay our car off we will get another loan, way less monthly payment than car note.

My husband is actually the only one aware of me wanting to be sleeved. I can not share it with my kids. They would not be supportive and I do not care for the attention, drama or remarks on how unsafe it is . I also would not want my son to feel like he is burdening us at all or spoil his happiness with my grief.

I am silently so discouraged and sad and aggravated. I feel like my hope just withered into thin air.

Here comes my pity party...... All though my husband is extremely supportive and a great guy he does not have a clue. He is naturally lean and muscular. "He said, " maybe something will come up to get sleeved, sometime in the future, hold your head up". He also freaks about paying some huge finance rate. I just want to find a rock to crawl under.

It seems hopeless.

When I heard about the sleeve and decided it was for me it gave me back hope, it encouraged me to live again, to strive to work hard to diet AGAIN, to plan , to keep moving forward. Now it is just looks bleek again, I feel like a balloon with a huge hole, racing in the air, hitting the ground deflated!

Someone grab the violin and play poor me, if I drank I would be crying in my beer!

I am not a quiter. I know that for sure about me but tonight I want to!!! I am so mad!

The most frustating today is not bouncing it off anyone, holding it in, not having an outlet, someone to brainstorm, someone in the same boat who UNDERSTANDS the disappointment, of living this existence in this body one more day longer than I have to!

Thanks for the forum to ramble.

[Raine 170]

Yecats, Rant away! You need to get it out of your system and then try to think of other options if there are any. I am so sorry you are going through this! Seems sometimes we do get tested for sure. You are right people outside of us do not understand what we are going through. It truly is an emotional roller coaster. I was sitting here reading this and thinking how can she get this done what are her options? I kept coming up short but this one thought popped in my head but not sure if it will be enough cash for you.

Have you thought of selling your car and then getting another one financed? You were approved for a car before and this one is completely paid off. Like I said not sure if that would cover what you need and it may take a bit of time to do it but if anything it is just another step towards your goal. Like I said just a thought.

Even though the timing is off, congratulations to your son on his upcoming wedding.

Good luck and I hope your situation gets sorted out for you..

[legnarevocrednu 47]

You may want to think about applying for a personal loan in your own name. Combined debt to income has to be at 40% or lower, and with two people in the mix, that's harder to do. Maybe with just one person, you may have a better chance. Also, like the poster said above me, you may want to go to www.kellybluebook.com and see how much you could get for your car. You mentioned it was old, so not sure if it would be near enough. Maybe a small, part time job? You can keep all the money in a jar or separate account, and use it to save for the surgery. Just some ideas! I work at a bank as a Customer Service Rep and deal with loans on a daily basis so I know how difficult it can be. I'm sorry for your troubles. I'm sure it will work out somehow. Congrats also on your sons wedding.

[Lissa 2,631]

Have you applied for Care Credit? If I understand correctly, their terms are a little looser and the loan is specifically for medical/dental work. It's a great thing for sleevers and others who need medical care and can't get conventional financing.< /p>

[yecats 109]

Thank you so much for your repllies!

Our car is 6 years old and in excellent shape. My husband is adament about not trading it in or taking on another car note. A note for a loan for $4000. is way less a month than a new car loan, and he feels we could never have a better deal than the used car we have now. I do see his point and he is so relieved and proud to have no car note.

It would not be an option in his eyes. I said this before... I would sell one of my adult kids at this point,(lol).

I have not appled for Ccare Credit? I'm not sure that they work with financing in MX. Does anyone know? There is a place named MEDICAL FINANCING that can be used In MX, has anyone used them or know how strict they are? I am so confused we have a lot of good credit on our statement. I really did not expect to be here! Just saying....

[illgeturhairdid 176]

I don't know what your car payment was like, but might it be enough to look into self paying for an insurance that might cover the surgery?

[yecats 109]

That actually crossed my mind today. I wonder what insurance companies are more apt to cover in Florida? anyone know....

[kemo46 82]

Hello Yecats, I just sent you a PM.

[Shae 44]

Remember that everything happens for a reason. It took me five years to finally get sleeved. Throughout that time, I got close about five times only to have things fall through. Finally, I got information that allowed me to have my surgery done at a Military Treatment Facility (my husband is retired after 20 years in the Marine Corps.) and paid $0.00 for everything. Do your best to have the sleeve done but please realize that if it doesn't happen, it may be because something better is on it's way.

You didn't mention insurance but more and more insurance companies are beginning to cover the sleeve. Be careful with the MEdical credit cards. Some of them charge outrageous interest rates (last time I checked CareCredit was at 11.9%) and you can end up in financial trouble. Especially if you make a late payment and they jump the interest rate to 25% or more.

Some ideas I have for raising money are yard sales, babysitting, house cleaning, shopping for someone, baking Cookies or whatnot to sell at the farmers market, offering tutoring services at the local school, ... you get the idea. It's slow going but it would serve to get you moving a little which is hard when you don't have energy and you would be earning money that you don't have to pay back.

It's hard to keep getting turned down or to have things seemingly worked out only to have it fall through. But you can get through it with the knowledge that it is for a reason and even though you don't know the reason, it has to be good.

[KellyL 173]

I'm sorry for your disappointment and frustration, and believe me I know exactly what you are feeling and going through, cuz I went through the same thing for years. It wasn't fun at all, I went through a lot of sadness and depression over not being able to have surgery. Income Tax time is just around the corner, is it possible to use a tax refund to pay all or some of the cost? That is actually how I paid for the majority of my surgery. Good luck to you, and please don't give up!

[TheRealMeIsHere! 863]

Hi Everyone,

I had very high hopes of being sleeved in early Jan.,heading to Mexico. It has taken me so long to get here! Everything was going so wonderful.

Passport-check, airplane tickets-check, down payment in the bank-check. After paying off two consecutive lloans off our credit union turned us down flat. Saying debt to ratio was not good any longer. Actually it has to do with how my husband pays himself through our home business mostly owner contributions. Not thinking much of it, we brought in our income tax for the last two years , from our accountant and it showed through these books our income is less than realistic, It is done properly, and absolutely on the up and up but after writing losses off our income appears much smaller Does that make any sense?

We are upside down on our house, not to uncommon considering the economy, so no home equity loan. I was shocked for some stupid reason. Here we thought it would be easy breezy, our credit was half way decent and boy did we have a rude awakening. On top of that when they ran our credit it appears to of lowered my husbands score 10 POINTS! Can that be right?

We just paid a $20k car off , in 6 years, way to long in financing years. (Not through the credit union.) I thought they would use it for colateral, it is in great shape. What a rude awakening, they said no. They do not like unsecured debt, our car is considered to old.

Then... here we are tonight one of son's comes to us with his sweet little girlfriend,fiance, "We are getting married,( her parents are loaded $ plan on paying for most everything) , would you mind pitching in on just $1500.00?".

They are planning this big whoopti-do event.

I really actually want to help my son. He is a wonderful young man, but his timing could not be worse, (my deposit amount). My reality is like an ongoing nightmare, I felt like I was going to have a panic attack, while he was talking. We said we would discuss it and get back with him.

Both my husband and I planned the financing out for the surgery. We thought all of our ducks were in a row. We planned that once we pay our car off we will get another loan, way less monthly payment than car note.

My husband is actually the only one aware of me wanting to be sleeved. I can not share it with my kids. They would not be supportive and I do not care for the attention, drama or remarks on how unsafe it is . I also would not want my son to feel like he is burdening us at all or spoil his happiness with my grief.

I am silently so discouraged and sad and aggravated. I feel like my hope just withered into thin air.

Here comes my pity party...... All though my husband is extremely supportive and a great guy he does not have a clue. He is naturally lean and muscular. "He said, " maybe something will come up to get sleeved, sometime in the future, hold your head up". He also freaks about paying some huge finance rate. I just want to find a rock to crawl under.

It seems hopeless.

When I heard about the sleeve and decided it was for me it gave me back hope, it encouraged me to live again, to strive to work hard to diet AGAIN, to plan , to keep moving forward. Now it is just looks bleek again, I feel like a balloon with a huge hole, racing in the air, hitting the ground deflated!

Someone grab the violin and play poor me, if I drank I would be crying in my beer!

I am not a quiter. I know that for sure about me but tonight I want to!!! I am so mad!

The most frustating today is not bouncing it off anyone, holding it in, not having an outlet, someone to brainstorm, someone in the same boat who UNDERSTANDS the disappointment, of living this existence in this body one more day longer than I have to!

Thanks for the forum to ramble.

Wow, you sure have alot on your plate. You have no health insurance? Or they denied the surgery? If they denied, you can appeal as some insurance companies will deny in hopes you won't appeal, then they saved money. Just be sure to include letters of medical necessity from doctors.

[majorsmama 91]

Do you have a 401k you can borrow from? If your debt to income ratio is too high, you will have trouble getting most types of financing. You may look into getting a private loan, such as lendingclub.com. If you are willing to collateralize your home and your credit is good, they are much more lenient with income and DTI ratios. Best of luck!