Waiting to become a newer, better me!

[cacilluf 27]

Hi everyone! I'm gonna share a little about myself in hopes of finding others like me to talk to. I'm 26 and recently married to a wonderful man. My family has always been overweight, and about 2 years ago my dad had the sleeve done. He lost 320lb and went from around 520 to 200. His journey was amazing and he is full of life now. It was always in the back of my mind how he was able to change so positively from the surgery, but I didn't honestly consider it until my wedding earlier this year. I tried for over a year to lose weight for the wedding but I COULDN'T, I didn't have the strength. I decided then that I need help with this, and it isn't a cop-out to get surgery. I DESERVE to be able to do all the things I can't, and I DESERVE to do it now and not wait till I'm 50 like my dad was.

After going to Henry Ford and St. John Providence Seminars I decided to go with the surgeon who did my dad, Dr. Hawasli through St. John Providence. liquid diet January 4th. I was told during my first visit to the surgeon that it would be in November for my surgery but it was pushed back. I was devastated. I had prepared mentally for November and then was told it would be another 3 months (at the time). I ran into a problem...

When I decided to get the surgery I did something so bad.... I started thinking that because I was going to have surgery that I didn't need to watch what I ate. I had always had cravings for food, you know, the ones that start like a whisper and then start screaming and all you can think of is chocolate or chips or ice cream.... It was just easier to give in. So I gained weight and wasn't fitting in my clothes. I felt horrible because now I'm worse off and I have to wait till January, and I REFUSE to get new clothes before I start losing the weight.

So now my husband and I are doing 2 Protein Shakes a day with Snacks and a reasonable dinner. It's good he's doing this with me because he's also very overweight and he has to lose weight. Maybe some day he'll get the lap band or sleeve too, but right now he's not ready for it. I like to think he's supportive but sometimes I wonder...... Just the other day he said in regard to our diet "now you won't have to get surgery" I WAS APPALLED! Makes me think maybe he doesn't understand..... We've been keeping open communication so I guess time will tell.

As far as support goes, I've got people on both sides. My dad, mom and sister obviously support me because they've been through the process. My husbands family are totally against it, which is strange because they are overweight too. Every time I see them I hear about how all I need is diet and exercise and I'm too young to get the surgery. It's frustrating because I'm 26 at 275lb and even though I don't have any health problems yet I want to start the rest of my life healthy!!!! My husband and I want to have children and I can't be the mom who can't physically play with her child. But I guess you just have to brush the dirt off and disregard people who don't get it.

I still have some uncertianty about the surgery, like how will this affect my relationships? will I still be able to cook, I love to bake! What am I going to do for clothes as I'm losing (that can add up to alot of $$$$)? And maybe the worst question of all: What happens if I can't control myself and start gaining again???

SO I guess thats a whole lot of me. I love looking on here and reading about different people. This really is a great forum. I look forward to change and will keep updating here!

[Bypassjourney 88]

You said it is strange to you that your husband's family are all overweight too but they don't support the surgery. This may be from jealousy that you will finally conquer this battle and they will not. I say this because one of my best friends had lapband surgery in May and I was jealous that she was going to be losing weight. What kind of friend am I that I wouldn't be supportive of her journey just because I didn't think I could do the same? I know it is all from my own insecurities and unhappiness with myself because of my weight. I am one month into the three month program required by my insurance. I am beyond ready for my own journey of success.

[babigrl111 38]

I love these forums because I just keep reading stories of people who are JUST LIKE ME. My surgery is scheduled December 9th, and I too have been eating out of control because I wont be able to after the surgery, why not do it now right? But like you I cant fit into most of my clothes and refuse to buy new till I lose weight. My boyfriend of 5.5 years also says hes supportive, but when I tried to talk to him about my insecurities (because I feel horrible about myself right now), he told me I cant love someone else if i dont love myself, and i need to work on my issues first, so now we're on a break. I am livid at him for not being there when i need him, and im not sure if he is supportive of my decision to have surgery anymore. My mom is also not supportive at all (she is also tiny). Luckily i have great friends and co-workers who are very supportive, and no matter what i am going through with this surgery for ME, nobody else, and thats what you need to focus on. I am so anxious for my date to get here, i swear ive been counting down and its making it go slower, grrr! Well good luck with everything, and thank you for sharing!

[cacilluf 27]

@babigrl111 I'm SOOOOO jealous your date is Dec 9th! I feel like I have to wait FOREVER for mine (76 days!). That really stinks about your boyfriend, sometimes guys are just dumb and don't know what to do. I think of it this way: when you know you're ready for the surgery and the change you KNOW. kinda like when I picked out my wedding dress in a way, you just KNOW its right. Find strength in that truth! And thats why these forums are so great to hear from other people!!!

[Lissa 2,631]

babigirl, What you're doing is called a food funeral, but it's totally unnecessary. You WILL be able to eat all the foods you love after surgery. I have always adored biscuits and gravy with eggs mixed into them. I can't eat the quantity I could before surgery, but I ate some at my cousin's house a few weeks ago and they were delicious! One egg and half a biscuit with a little gravy were so good!

One side effect for me of the liquid diet is that I'm no longer interested in sweets just for sweets sake. I am also lactose intolerant to milk right now, so I'm not eating ice cream or drinking regular milk. However, there are lots of substitutes to work around that.

I'm waiting on red meat, mostly because I've seen that many surgeons advise waiting six months, but I've eaten pork, chicken, shrimp and even a couple of crab legs since being back on solid foods. True, I can't consume what I did before surgery, but who would want to? As for veggies, I can't do many raw veggies right now, but steamed veggies go down well.

You will be able to eat anything you want after surgery, once your doctor gives the go-ahead. So, there's no need to eat "blank" one last time. This is a total lifestyle change, but it's one that leaves you able to eat like a normal person instead of having to always label foods "bad" or "good". I'm not afraid to have anything that makes my mouth Water, especially since I know that I WILL be able to say that's enough when I'm full.

Despite the fact that I was 352 before surgery, I have always been a picky eater. If I don't like something, it's not going in my mouth. I find that I'm even more picky now since I know that I'll only be able to eat a few bites of anything. I figure that I should be able to eat what I truly want rather than to avoid a food because someone says it's bad.

The sleeve also makes it tough for me to eat things that are really bad: most fried foods don't go down well for me...and I'm not into sweets these days. Before VSG, I loved oreos and milk, but what's the point of that if I can't drink the milk? I also can't imagine putting the junk that's between the Cookies in Rex (my sleeve) because just the thought of that stuff makes Rex go "Oh, no way!!!"

Good luck to you on your journey!!!