How do I tell people?

[Lissa 2,631]

Stacey, Holy Poop!!! I hope your told SIL that you AREN'T giving up. That you are finally taking control of your weight and your life. Yes, there are complications that happen from any surgery. However, I'm sure you've done your research and are confident in your doctor. You are having all the tests done to determine if you are healthy enough for surgery and you are going to WORK this sleeve.

My business partner's sister in law has been in the hospital every two months since her VSG surgery. The SIL is NOT compliant with either her Water requirements or her nutrition requirements. While she has lost the weight she wanted to lose, she's also done horrible damage to her body by not eating or drinking properly. The "horror story" to that is that the SIL has not done what her surgeon instructed her to do. The surgery did not fail, the patient failed. YOU are not going to do that. YOU are going to comply with your surgeon's instructions and YOU are going to make sure you work the tool.

I hate to offer to do this, but smack your SIL up side of the head and tell her to grow up! If you had cancer and were going to have surgery would she tell you that you had given up? Or would she be offering to be your support person and hold your hand when you woke up? Being 100 lbs overweight is like having a major cancer and NO ONE would fault you for having surgery for cancer.

My hubby actually told me that if I'd eat less I could lose the weight. Yeah, like I didn't have a clue that's how weight loss worked. If you (or I) could do this on our own, we wouldn't be contemplating surgery. We'd just take that magic step away from the fridge and everything would be wonderful and peachy-keen. It doesn't work for US.

[Stacey Nicole 40]

Thank you Lissa (funny side note: my bf is a lissa too haha)!!!!

I started telling her all the statistics I knew. I was defending myself - and it felt like I was being attacked. All while she was doing this she never even asked me what type of surgery I was having.

Not only did she tell me i was giving up - she also told me that I was WRONG!!!! Ugh I'm still annoyed the morning after. It just goes to show that sometimes you have to do things for you and only you!

Hoping today is a better day - she owes me such an apology......but I'm sure I'll never hear it.

[babigrl111 38]

Great thread! I have told my boyfriend and two best friends, and two co-workers (both of whom have had WLS), and everyone has been sooooo supportive. One of my friends was like i never even though of you as fat (um, ya sure, lol). I told my boss as well, and was nervious, but 2 other girls in the office have had it done, and i knew he'd understand. I did lie a little and told him i found out i was pre-diabetic (which im not) and that was my major decision on why i should do the surgery, but hey, if i keep going at the rate im going, im sure to have health complications soon.

I tried to bring it up to my mom (who's tiny), and she was like you dont need that, thats too drastic, you just need to try this diet im on. Im not going to tell her till after the surgery now, i know she'll be happy cuz she can stop worrying about me being unhealthy. Im not telling my stuck up perfect sister right now either, lol. Waiting till after for that.

A good way to bring it up to someone is tell them you have something to tell them, and you dont want their negative comments, YOU ONLY WANT THEIR SUPPORT, and you'll be happy to answer any questions they have about the surgery, but they need to bite their tongues if they dont have anything nice to say.

[sleeve 4 me 910]

I had the sleeve done August 2010. My hubby, and my family knew and were all very supportive. I didn't tell any of my in laws until after January 2011 (big family), and still haven't really spoken to them personally about the surgery. I basically told 2 or 3 of them and the word spread quickly. I had made my mind up and did this for my health and DID NOT need negative feedback or comments. I think it's best to keep it to a minimum, but it's your choice.

[Lakelady 2]

I'm impressed that so many of you are so open. I've only told 2 people. The only hard thing about this whole thing has been all the attention-people want to know how I've done it. I have so many Facebook messages asking me how I lost all the weight. I really don't want to be defensive or deal with their reactiion so I don't tell-I'm pretty private so that is consistant with my personality. I have a new naturally thin friend and we eat about the same and she doesn't ask or bug me or care. Its really nice.

[ProudGrammy 8,322]

I decided to only tell my daughter, husband, and mom (I wish I hadn't told her) I think its a personal choice to tell or not to. When they ask about how you're losing wt. et.al. you can honestly tell them you are eater smaller quantities of healthier foods, and exercising . If you don't want to say more (like me) then drop it.

[Mrs.Prisses 51]

I think I started out like that. I wasn't, going to share with anyone but my immediate family and boss. But, 1- I have been too excited to NOT share, 2- Once I have it done and start losing I will not want to lie about how I am doing it. I know that not sharing isn't lying exactly but to me I would feel like it. Plus, I want others in my situation to consider their options and know that it's okay to use every tool at your disposal to be healthy. I want to be an example for some of my family members who think that WLS is somehow cheating.