How do I tell people?

[Stacey Nicole 40]

I have to tell my boss that I've gotten the ball rolling in this process and will need a couple of weeks off. I don't know how to say it. It's literally making me sick to my stomach! I've known my boss for 10 years - She is the best. I am just terrified!!!!!!

I'm also just as nervous about my family and my inlaws knowing about it.

How did you tell the people closest to you? HELP!!

[MyVSG2012 15]

I'm being pretty hush hush about my surgery. I recently told my boss I would need to take time off. I didn't tell him why and legally he can't ask. I adore my boss and have worked for him for years and consider him to be one of my best friends, but some things just need to be private.

I just told my Mom about it and was really nervous to do it, but she took it ok (I asked her to tell my Dad). I'm waiting until after the surgery to tell other family and probably won't tell most of them unless they ask me point blank.

As far as friends go, only one knows.

By the way, if my boss does ask me what the surgery is for since we are friends, I plan on telling him I would like to keep it private. I know he will understand, but I also think he may ask my husband who has been sworn to secrecy.

I have to tell my boss that I've gotten the ball rolling in this process and will need a couple of weeks off. I don't know how to say it. It's literally making me sick to my stomach! I've known my boss for 10 years - She is the best. I am just terrified!!!!!!

I'm also just as nervous about my family and my inlaws knowing about it.

How did you tell the people closest to you? HELP!!

[Lanette 124]

I was very open about it and felt that if I explained the differences between VSG and other WLS that they are used to, that most people were very supportive. I did not have any true negative reactions. From day one, I have been passionate about getting the word out about this surgery because it is not as well known. I know do many LapBanders who didn't know there was a better alternative. I have had TONS of people ask me for more info, surgeons name, etc. of course I always send them here as well.

[Thomas CPA 496]

If using your vacation time there is no need to tell the boss. Depending on work you may go back sooner than later. I am a CPA and took one week of half days and back full time second week. I was fortunate being my own boss. I was driving the day after being released from the hospital.

As for family and friends, unless they are uptight about surgeries then why keep it a secret. When you go out with them and always taking home leftovers they will wonder why anyway. My friends at the restaurants know and just bring me the doggie bag. My family knows so they won't overcook for me when visiting.

Your family and friends can be a great support system with encouraging comments.

[courtines 6]

I think it is a really personal decision as to how much to tell people. I do not regret being really open about it. There was one negative reaction to my face, but I had so many people calling, texting and facebooking after my surgery. It was really a blessing to have so many people checking on me and asking how I was doing. I also feel like it is a good motivator to stick to my program.

I don't think there should be any problem just telling your boss that you need to have some time off for surgery. I know my doctors office will fill out paperwork with the very vague "abdominal surgery."

[Stacey Nicole 40]

I'm an extremely open person! I love sharing my life with other people and for some reason - this is different for me. A few of my closest friends know - I will be telling my family shortly as well as my boss. Just didn't realize how scary it would be for me!

[DisneyAddict 10]

I'm an extremely open person! I love sharing my life with other people and for some reason - this is different for me. A few of my closest friends know - I will be telling my family shortly as well as my boss. Just didn't realize how scary it would be for me!

I'm very open too. I think the only person that doesn't know is one sister of mine who would be beyond underhanded & jealous. She's like that to begin with so this just doesn't need to be disclosed. I told the people I'm closest to and see on a regular basis. I just *told* them and answered whatever questions they had. The only casualty was someone I considered one of my best friends. Her jealous azz dropped off the face of the planet and we're no longer friends. She was jealous and couldn't handle the thought of me being smaller than her. Whatever. If anything, the surgery allowed me to see who my truly supportive good friends were. It kind of weeded out the bad you know? It sounds like I'm being off handed & flippant about losing that friendship but I'm really not. It took up until recently for me to accept it (I told her about my surgery last summer and I had it this January). Just be prepared for people not accepting what you're about to do and be prepared for some people to wig out. "I know someone who had that and died!!" LOL To quote someone I knew. Just take it in stride and do what you need to do.

[Lissa 2,631]

My best friend is an ER nurse and she was my first person I talked to about surgery, even before I mentioned it to my hubby! I asked her what she thought about weight loss surgery and she assumed I was talking about a male friend of ours who is over 450 and has severe medical problems. When I told her I was asking for me, her response was priceless! "That's the best idea you've EVER had!" LOL I had already talked to one surgeon, but didn't really want to use him. My friend mentioned Dr. Domkowski (my surgeon) because she's seen how caring and compassionate he is when he comes into her hospital with his patients. So, I went to him and the rest is history.

My husband's reaction was "You just need to eat less." DUH, If I could have done that, I'd have lost this weight years ago. I haven't received negative comments from anyone else, including my sons. Their support has been amazing. My youngest lives with me and has done everything he can to make food prep and day to day life simpler for me. My oldest son lives in South Carolina and I just visited him for a few days. He cooked an old family favorite for me, and was surprised at how little I can eat. He and his girlfriend were both very complimentary about how much weight I've already lost.

I have no hesitation about telling other people about my surgery. I'm not ashamed at all. I always mention that this is a tool, not a quick fix and that WLS is sometimes the only solution, as it was for me. I use that Dr Oz quote about being 100 pounds overweight having the same health risks as a cancer and that no one would hesitate to operate for cancer. I was 170 pounds overweight and, despite losing 50 pounds last year on Atkins, still ended up back where I started when I got pneumonia early this year. I had also been told that I wouldn't live another year if I didn't get my weight under control. THAT is a prime motivator to get the surgery.

I feel like WLS saved my life, so I guess I will be evangelizing to others about it for a long time to come.

[itscometothis 12]

I'm not standing up telling the world because I am happy to keep it to just close friends and family... having said that when I did tell those people I did it with a HUGE smile and I stood by myself. I was confident when I told them and my attitude about it seemed to spread to them. Good luck with everything.. Get over here you skinny body!! WHOOHOOOOO!!! lol

[Mel34 11]

I've only told my immediate family and 3 of my very best friends about what I want to do. Besides that, no one has to know. Those few people I have told have given me such a positive reaction and told me that I was making a great decision.

In regards to my boss, I just told her that I will be having surgery in January and all she just thanked me for letting her know in advance. No questions asked. And yes, its illegal for them to ask about why you are taking SL or AL. If you have the time, you can use it.

I posted something yesterday about this actually. I'm kind of afraid/embarrassed to tell the guy that I'm dating about the surgery. we live in two different states and see eachother about 3 or 4 times a year for the past 4 years. I won't see him again til after my surgery so he will notice. I'm just afraid of how he is going to react. I know he won't be mad, upset or anything negative but I'm just scared.

So, I know how you feel.

[LadyIvy 159]

I have to tell my boss that I've gotten the ball rolling in this process and will need a couple of weeks off. I don't know how to say it. It's literally making me sick to my stomach! I've known my boss for 10 years - She is the best. I am just terrified!!!!!!

I'm also just as nervous about my family and my inlaws knowing about it.

How did you tell the people closest to you? HELP!!

I have been pretty quiet about it. I will tell my boss I need surgery and just leave it at that. Then again, it is different if you are very close. That will be more difficult, but I know you will say exactly what you need to. Especially if you all are friends. You have to decide how many people you really want to know about your surgery.

[Stacey Nicole 40]

I just told my boss. Since I work alone it takes time to find coverage! I am so happy with her reaction - she was super supportive. I'm a very open person and I needed to get that over with! So glad I did

[legnarevocrednu 47]

I never told my boss, I just requested the time off. If you have the time available to you, do not feel pressure to tell her. Unless, of course, you want to. I think we instinctively know who we can talk to about this decision...and the ones who we know would just be negative about it. I have told everyone I work with (except my boss because he's new and I don't know him that well), my immediate family, and most of my friends. There are two friends that I haven't told. I'm not sure why, but something inside of me just knows they would not be supportive. If they ask after surgery, I will tell them. Oh and by the way, everyone I HAVE told, is super excited and supportive. Just listen to your gut. If you feel like you shouldn't tell you boss, then don't. Good luck!

[GonnaLoseIt 33]

I know alot of people frown upon what I did but I chose to only tell my immediate family and best friend. As far as I was concerned everyone else wasnt close enough for it to be there business.

Telling my family and friends was extra difficult because I chose to get sleeved in Mexico, but I just came right out and told them about the surgery, why I wanted and needed it and why I was going to mexico for it. I found that as long as I let people know how much of an informed decision it was they were behind me. They were scared, but behind me.

[Stacey Nicole 40]

Well I was on a roll today after telling my boss. I figured my brother should know - his wife went crazy on me. She is a nurse and has dealt with patients and their complications from surgery. She went on and on and on. I can respect her telling me about her experiences - but she had the balls to ask why I was giving up. Some people think they are so damn entitled - like really? Giving up? Yea I don't think so!!! Ugh I'm so mad!!!