Dealing with people being jealous of weight loss?

[GonnaLoseIt 33]

Hey everyone, one of my family members is overweight, we are the same height 5"2, we are both overweight me moreso then her. I weight 207, she weighs like 180. When I got my surgery I was 234 and that was 6 weeks ago. So i have been losing a good amount of weight. She has been plateaued at 180 for a long time (mind you she eats alot of fast food and is pretty sedintary).

Here is a list of things that I found to be jealous in a matter of a 2 hour trip to the store and home.

1) Anyways we were about to go shopping and she told me to put my winter jacket on. I dont have one so she grabbed me one of her old ones its a 1x, it fit with room so I felt good (typically wore a 2x before surgery). She then said "Keep it, it is way to big on me, it has so much space that the air would get in and I was freezing.

2) We are walking around the store and she says "oh my god my pants are so loose, I hope they dont fall down"

3) We are sitting in the car, she points out to me a roll on her jacket (typically where someones tummy sticks out) and says, I lost my roll but it still looks like its there, see its not though. She then poked the jacket.

4) We walk into the house she is ahead of me with her back to me. I very clearly saw her pull her pants down at the front (she didnt think I saw). She then turned around and took two steps, her pants fell down and she said (Oh ha, I am glad they didnt do that in the store.

Am I being crazy or does it seem like jealousy over my weight loss? How should I deal with it, or should I just let it alone? I did not say anything and didnt make a big deal out of anything but I find it frustrating that she isnt happy for me. I have always been very kind and generous to her.

[sasicas 194]

Women can be so annoying and so competitive! It sounds to me like jealousy, I just don't understand why we can't just be happy for eachother instead of turning everything into a competition. I get far more snarky comments than supportive from other women You have to decide what you are willing to deal with. Since it is family, I would say just to ignore it, appease her and comment on how great it feels to be losing weight. It sounds like she just wants some attention too and is scared of being the "fat" one *sigh* Ignore it the best you can but be prepared for more comments, especially once you pass her up.

[Ren<3 11]

I can completely relate to you my best friend in the whole wide wide wide world trys to compete with me lol god bless her I love her to death so I refrain from telling her anything thank god my bf told me to take the high road he thinks my complaints about her are very highschoolish lol after I thought about it I laughed because even then she's tried competing with me copying me I like a bag she trys to get it first but little does she know I got it last month lol she went to a seminar for gastric bypass I went with her but she chickened out

she said she'll wait a few yrs to get it since she's on her moms insurance till she's 26 so she's not focused on weight loss surgery mind you that's when I myself was continuously getting denied for my lap band (changed my mind to sleeve) so finally I tell her oh im getting the sleeve she tells me oh that's a little too drastic your doing too much completely unsupportive I didn't care so Oct 17 2011 I got my surgery now she's suddenly happy && proud of me

oh && also she made a appointment to see her dr nov 15 to talk to her about getting the sleeve its so annoying to me like none of my other friends ever try to have this silent competition with me ugh im getting mad now thinking about it haha but what are you gonna do right atleast im inspiring her to get healthy one way or thee other sorry for the long post but this topic really hit home to me don't feel bad about your decisions that's so beneficial to aid you to a long healthy life<3

[LilMissDiva Irene 3,282]

Hey everyone, one of my family members is overweight, we are the same height 5"2, we are both overweight me moreso then her. I weight 207, she weighs like 180. When I got my surgery I was 234 and that was 6 weeks ago. So i have been losing a good amount of weight. She has been plateaued at 180 for a long time (mind you she eats alot of fast food and is pretty sedintary).

Here is a list of things that I found to be jealous in a matter of a 2 hour trip to the store and home.

1) Anyways we were about to go shopping and she told me to put my winter jacket on. I dont have one so she grabbed me one of her old ones its a 1x, it fit with room so I felt good (typically wore a 2x before surgery). She then said "Keep it, it is way to big on me, it has so much space that the air would get in and I was freezing.

2) We are walking around the store and she says "oh my god my pants are so loose, I hope they dont fall down"

3) We are sitting in the car, she points out to me a roll on her jacket (typically where someones tummy sticks out) and says, I lost my roll but it still looks like its there, see its not though. She then poked the jacket.

4) We walk into the house she is ahead of me with her back to me. I very clearly saw her pull her pants down at the front (she didnt think I saw). She then turned around and took two steps, her pants fell down and she said (Oh ha, I am glad they didnt do that in the store.

Am I being crazy or does it seem like jealousy over my weight loss? How should I deal with it, or should I just let it alone? I did not say anything and didnt make a big deal out of anything but I find it frustrating that she isnt happy for me. I have always been very kind and generous to her.

OMGoodness... you know I couldn't do anything but laugh at your family member's foolishness!! Seriously, ignore her. You will endure lots more jealousy the more weight you lose. Women can be very catty (well... some men too... haha!!) and most won't like the idea of you faring better than them. You just keep doing you and rocking your weight loss. Know this... that is THEIR problem, not yours.

Congrats on your post op weight loss!!! You're doing fantastic!!!

[GonnaLoseIt 33]

Thanks guys! To be honest I did have to walk away when she did the pants thing because I didnt want to laugh in front of her. I am prepared to recieve alot more jealousy especially when I surpass her weight, but I figure by then I will have mastered ignoring it.

[LilMissDiva Irene 3,282]

Thanks guys! To be honest I did have to walk away when she did the pants thing because I didnt want to laugh in front of her. I am prepared to recieve alot more jealousy especially when I surpass her weight, but I figure by then I will have mastered ignoring it.

LOL!! Exactly!

If anything the things she does can provide some excellent entertainment. I don't know about anyone else, but I'm a sucker for comedy. If she asks why you're laughing just tell her you're laughing WITH her... not AT her.

[Rootman 1,101]

I had to laugh, it seems that guys are always comparing how big their bellies are - not how much they lost!

[thinoneday 445]

Let her be, . .she is the one making a A$$ of herself. . . just let her go on. . . be the "more grown up one" "turn the other cheek" , keep on doing your thing though, your doing great. . . and yes she will be very annoying for a while, basically sounds like she is really competing with you. . . feel sorry for her and just whatever. . . .good luck. . .

[Sassygirl06 962]

i really dont understand this thing that some people do. i have a sleeve sister that i walk with 3 times a week. we always are complimenting eachother on how much weight we see that we have lost. i basically follow the "if you dont have anything nice to say then dont say nothing at all." that works for me. ignore her, for soon you will weigh less and feel better and she wont be saying anything at all about weight to you other then how she can do the sleeve too. she feels that she has a leg up on you now, and she is insecure on her own body image and so making these little snarky comments makes her feel better about her weight. dont let it make you feel bad about yours. keep up the great loss!

[Lisa the loser 13]

Haaha that's so childish I work with all women so I can totally relate to this they are always making comments about me and always trying to offer me food I am whatever about it I don’t even discuss my loss with them anymore. Hang in there girl let her be your motivation!!

[sasicas 194]

I had to laugh, it seems that guys are always comparing how big their bellies are - not how much they lost!

bwahaha! You men are SO lucky

Women can just be downright crazy.

GonnaLoseIt, hopefully she is the only person you have to deal with. I can tell you from personal experience that it can come from where you least expect it. I have a few former friends, people I thought would be there for me for life, that couldn't handle my weight loss. Even now my only remotely close friend tries to compete with me, even going so far as to lying about her weight and size. She is just a little shorter than me and probably 30-40 lbs heavier than me but reminds me daily that she is "10 lbs" heavier than me and says she wears a 9 in juniors. Uh yeah, there is no way. I just let her ramble on because really I don't care if she is heavier than not, the lying about it is the only thing that bugs me.

[GetInMyBelly 80]

She admires you.

[lostalongtheway 5]

Thanks guys! To be honest I did have to walk away when she did the pants thing because I didnt want to laugh in front of her. I am prepared to recieve alot more jealousy especially when I surpass her weight, but I figure by then I will have mastered ignoring it.

Lol, see I'm bad. I would have called her out on it like, "Girl, you're not fooling nobody. I saw you pull your pants down in the front." Can you imagine the look on her face? And I bet she'd stop the madness.

[yecats 109]

I have real trouble with a significant person in my life.

My step sister who I dearly love and adore. She is a great gal but she always looks me up and down when she sees me, she has always had weight issues. Measuring her esteem for the day with who she can compare her size to.

She also believes that anyone who tries WLS is totally crazy and will eventually trip over the excess skin. She has actually said that. I only see her like 5 times a year so I just thought I would cross that bridge when I come to it.

I do not look forward to facing her at all after surgery.

[longer-life 139]

Lol, see I'm bad. I would have called her out on it like, "Girl, you're not fooling nobody. I saw you pull your pants down in the front." Can you imagine the look on her face? And I bet she'd stop the madness.

Well, then I'm bad too because there is no way I would have stayed quiet a whole day listening to all her nonsense. I would have been nice, but straightforward. Something like, "I am not competing with you. I think you are beautiful. I'm trying to get healthier, not compete with you. I hope this doesn't affect our relationship. By the way, did you see our favorite Cereal is on sale?".