VSG & Negartive People

[jessicaemilia 2]

I told a friend about the surgery and I regret it. She put the fear of God in me. She told me to think of my daughter and that anyone with common sense would not take the risk of death with a small child to raise. That I should try to diet once more...that I should walk more and eat less and YADA,YADA, YADA! She told me about a woman that died due to a staple becoming loose...she played on my fears. I told her that I was thinking of my daughter and that she is the prime reason that I am doing this surgery.

But now i'm scared and wondering if maybe i am crazy to think that this might actually work and that I will do well as I venture off to Mexico (!!!) to have a doctor i've never met remove a huge portion of my tummy. I've heard wonderful things about Dr. Kelly, my chose doctor...but I AM FREAKING OUT. My surgery is on January 3rd...about 2 1/2 months a away....

I'm rambling...but i'd like to know how do you all cope as you prepare for your surgeries...especially those without insurance...how do you not freak out thinking that something could happen.

Thanks.

[wishes 125]

I don't know if I can really say a lot to reassure you, but my mom is getting VSG on November 3rd. And I can't be happier for her. I want her to be around to see me get married, to meet her grand children, and be there when I graduate from grad school, but at the rate she is going without this surgery either the diabetes, the heart problems, or the constant pain she is in will destroy her life and eventually take her from me. I can't help but be supportive of her choice to get healthier even if some of the possibly complications of surgery occur. Just know you are making this choice for you and your daughter to be a part of her life, and if she is anything like me, she will want you around as long as she can have you. Don't let obesity take you away from her.

[yecats 109]

Hi,

I am not sleeved yet also. I also plan on being sleeved by Dr. Kelly in early 2012, hopefully in Jan. also. Still working on some last minute finances. I also do not have insurance. I think he is awesome and I have heard wonderful things about him!

I tend to worry about things, maybe my grown children, our business can get stressful, just life in general but I am not worried about being sleeved, and this is why.

At the rate I am going I might have 10 maybeeeeee 15 years left, especially if I continue being this heavy. Also, if I live that long the quality of my life will not be good. No running, playing with my kids. Have you ever been embarrassed b./c your kids were b/c of your size.

I read on here somewhere, something like this..

I would rather die by trying to save and improve my life, than die painfully doing nothing, having a miserable existence.

I can not speak for you or others but I am miserable being fat! I have tried and tried and tried.

I do not want to go my entire life thinking if only, what if. I want to for once experience being smaller. I have always been a chicken . I am more afraid of living the rest of my life like this than I am being sleeved.

Remember this.... To be a really good to your daughter, be sure to be really good to her Mother! Give your daughter the oppurtunity to have a healthy Mom. That is not selfish, that is considering her future!

If you listen to your friend then maybe you should never drive on the highway, fly on a plane or cross a street while walking. Life happens, if something bad happens it is suppose to. It is called destiny.

You die when you are suppose to.

For the record , statistically there are other surgeries that are of much greater risk than this one. Look it up!

That is exactly why I prefer not to share my experience until afterwards. I do not need anyone's approval. I need support. My husband is awesome!

Suppose you had an infection and if you did not take care of it then it would eventually take many years off your life and you also would not to be able to enjoy life but have a lot of other health issues, would she still say, "no, you better not , you need to think of your daughter, not your future bad health!

All you need is people around you that support the decisions that YOU make. Stay focused and reach way down deep inside and ask yourself, you are the only one that knows that answer if getting sleeved is right for you..

Lay on your pillow tonite and ask yourself what is your gut instincts(no pun intended lol) telling you?

I am sorry I rambled.... I see that issue in my own life so I avoided it totally!! Hope this helped.

[courtines 6]

For me, I did this FOR my young daughter. I want to be able to see her graduate from college and dance at her wedding. I felt like that might not happen if I continued to live at 100+ lbs overweight. One thing I have learned in the past couple weeks since my surgery, is that it doesn't take too long to find out who your friends are. People that I considered "work friends" called and texted me and checked in on me. Almost everyone who was important to me has been extremely supportive. I don't think that there is anything that you would have been able to say to your friend to change her mind, and that's okay. If she is really your friend, she will be there for you after. If she isn't, it is truly her loss.

Don't freak out. If you are sure about your reasons for having the surgery, this risk is really small. I was freaked out that I wouldn't wake up from surgery and here I am. Take some deep breaths and remember why you are doing this in the first place.

[lessofme2010 25]

I understand the fears.. My surgery is on the 10th of Nov. With Dr. Kelly..

I've had them all... I have chosen NOT to tell very many as I really don't want all the negative responses from others...

I have two daughters 16 and 13 and I am doing this for them as well...My husband will be staying home with them as I go to Mexico.

My best friend said it best."You must really want this if you are going to Mexico alone " I really am not scared... I do worry about the what if's but try real hard to only think of the positives..

How nice it will be to wear smaller clothes and not have pain when I walk etc....

I wll let you know how my surgery goes when I get home on the 14th of Nov..

Blessings, Julie

[kemo46 82]

Tell your friend that more people die from Obese realted issues than a staple coming loose. What you are doing will give you more quality and quanity of life to spend with your children. What I have found is the people who talk negatively about the surgery have done absolutely no research and heard something from the media. Tell them to actually spend some time doing actual research and then they can talk to you intelligently about your decision. I know that sounds harsh but you do not have to defend your decision, you are doing this for your health.

[hadouni 301]

I have a very young child too and am a single parent. My son is a huge part of why I'm considering this but he's also my greatest reservation in electing surgery. I was a little older when I had him and I want to be around for as long as I can be with him. Given my family history, I'm headed for a heart attack in my 60s if I don't do something about my weight. My son will be 17 when I hit 60 and I want more years than that for both of us.

[sweetness2005 18]

I know what you mean.. As i sit here and write this post i have some of my co-workers asking my are you scared, are you sure you want to go thru with this. They all know that i leave to Mexico ALONE on sunday. I am doing this for my kids and so that i will be here for them and maybe some day some grandkids. I have been big since i was 10 years old i just turned 34 and i want to be small. I know what it is like to be smaller i went from 250lbs to 185lbs size 26 to a 12 in 4 months on the HCG diet but as you all know it is back and more. So I am sitting here drinking my tea and getting ready the THE NEW ME!!!. I wish you the best of luck and you will be ok.

[Katie713 423]

I agree with most everyone who has posted here to support your decision. I am planning on having the sleeve surgery so that I CAN LIVE. I have discussed my decision with my children and my close family members and my best friends. They all support my decision and I think they understand my decision is not just based on looking better...I want to be healthier!

Don't listen to the negative talkers or let them influence your decision. You have a right to make your own decisions.

[AllForMy4 58]

I too am going through the process of having this surgery in a big part for my 4 children. They are my world,and I want to see my daughter's walk down the aisle one day. I want to see my son continue to accomplish things his doctors said he never would. But most of all I want them to have their mommy and know she is healthy!! I fear I can't do this being obese for years to come. If you feel you have exhausted all other options of losing the weight as well as keeping it off,and you feel this is the right decision,GO FOR IT!! Don't let anyone stand in your way of success! Your true friends will stay by your side. I know how you feel,I don't even have a surgery date yet and half my family isn't even talking to me! I love them and I wish it didn't have to be this way,but I am doing what's right for my life and my family(My kids,husband).

As far as your fear of the risks of surgery,I have the same fears,but I have researched ALOT,the risks are very low and I know that making sure I follow up with my dr and listening to my body will make the risks even lower. Good luck!!!

[shellbelle 4]

Hi, I am also in Jacksonville and my surgeon of choice is Dr. Webb. I have an appointment to see him next Tuesday as a matter of fact. Is there any way for me to get ahold of you, maybe via email or something so I can pick your brain? I don't know much about Dr. Webb so I had some questions about his bedside manner, etc.

Thanks,

Michelle

I don't know if I can really say a lot to reassure you, but my mom is getting VSG on November 3rd. And I can't be happier for her. I want her to be around to see me get married, to meet her grand children, and be there when I graduate from grad school, but at the rate she is going without this surgery either the diabetes, the heart problems, or the constant pain she is in will destroy her life and eventually take her from me. I can't help but be supportive of her choice to get healthier even if some of the possibly complications of surgery occur. Just know you are making this choice for you and your daughter to be a part of her life, and if she is anything like me, she will want you around as long as she can have you. Don't let obesity take you away from her.

[twoboysandagirl 109]

I heard the exact same things from people around me. They were concerned for my kids (I have 3 small ones). Lots of people will give you the advise " you need to do this for you or you need to do what is best for you" this is something you DONT just do for yourself. You do this for the ones you want to see for years to come. You have this surgery because you dont want those kids to watch you slowly eat yourself to a long miserable death. That is just how I looked at the risk of surgery. The risk of death because of weight related illness was too great!

We decided, after hearing a few negative comments, we would only tell people who out right asked. Out side of our family of course. I dont really feel comfortable lying anyway.

I told a friend about the surgery and I regret it. She put the fear of God in me. She told me to think of my daughter and that anyone with common sense would not take the risk of death with a small child to raise. That I should try to diet once more...that I should walk more and eat less and YADA,YADA, YADA! She told me about a woman that died due to a staple becoming loose...she played on my fears. I told her that I was thinking of my daughter and that she is the eprime reason that I am doing this surgery.

But now i'm scared and wondering if maybe i am crazy to think that this might actually work and that I will do well as I venture off to Mexico (!!!) to have a doctor i've never met remove a huge portion of my tummy. I've heard wonderful things about Dr. Kelly, my chose doctor...but I AM FREAKING OUT. My surgery is on January 3rd...about 2 1/2 months a away....

I'm rambling...but i'd like to know how do you all cope as you prepare for your surgeries...especially those without insurance...how do you not freak out thinking that something could happen.

Thanks.

[lamarr80 1]

Hello everyone,

I just joined this site and I wanted to respond to your post about negative people. My first appointment with my surgeon is in a week and I am so nervous(!) and anxious to start this weight loss journey. I have about 130 or more pounds to lose. I haven't been under 200lbs since I was a teen so I will probably figure out the exact goal weight as I lose.

I have the exact same issue jessicaemilia. Friends and the limited family I do have in my life question my decision and refuse to support me (If I have to hear one more person say, "Why don't you just exercise?" I'm going to scream!).

I am 31 and a single parent of an almost 8-yr-old son and I feel so alone in this. My son and two co-workers have been my biggest cheerleaders, probably because they have all seen my struggle to eat right and exercise like a crazy person with no success. But truthfully I really didn't think I would face such negativity by my family. I'm going through a lot of stress in my life right now and I would've liked to know that I had more support from them.

What's getting me through right now is prayer and the knowledge that I am doing what I need to do for my child. I am also planning a big relocation cross-country early next year and it would be so amazing if I can change my negative body image and start the new year out right.

I'm praying about it and feel that I'm starting to overcome the fear of the actual surgery itself, its just the healing time I'm worried about. I've always been independent but now I'm afraid that I will have to go through this time alone without any support system.

Sareeta

[jessicaemilia 2]

I'm having surgery on January 3rd...maybe we can connect while there w/Dr. Kelly...PM me once you know if you will be there that week....and thanks for your wonderful response.

Hi,

I am not sleeved yet also. I also plan on being sleeved by Dr. Kelly in early 2012, hopefully in Jan. also. Still working on some last minute finances. I also do not have insurance. I think he is awesome and I have heard wonderful things about him!

I tend to worry about things, maybe my grown children, our business can get stressful, just life in general but I am not worried about being sleeved, and this is why.

At the rate I am going I might have 10 maybeeeeee 15 years left, especially if I continue being this heavy. Also, if I live that long the quality of my life will not be good. No running, playing with my kids. Have you ever been embarrassed b./c your kids were b/c of your size.

I read on here somewhere, something like this..

I would rather die by trying to save and improve my life, than die painfully doing nothing, having a miserable existence.

I can not speak for you or others but I am miserable being fat! I have tried and tried and tried.

I do not want to go my entire life thinking if only, what if. I want to for once experience being smaller. I have always been a chicken . I am more afraid of living the rest of my life like this than I am being sleeved.

Remember this.... To be a really good to your daughter, be sure to be really good to her Mother! Give your daughter the oppurtunity to have a healthy Mom. That is not selfish, that is considering her future!

If you listen to your friend then maybe you should never drive on the highway, fly on a plane or cross a street while walking. Life happens, if something bad happens it is suppose to. It is called destiny.

You die when you are suppose to.

For the record , statistically there are other surgeries that are of much greater risk than this one. Look it up!

That is exactly why I prefer not to share my experience until afterwards. I do not need anyone's approval. I need support. My husband is awesome!

Suppose you had an infection and if you did not take care of it then it would eventually take many years off your life and you also would not to be able to enjoy life but have a lot of other health issues, would she still say, "no, you better not , you need to think of your daughter, not your future bad health!

All you need is people around you that support the decisions that YOU make. Stay focused and reach way down deep inside and ask yourself, you are the only one that knows that answer if getting sleeved is right for you..

Lay on your pillow tonite and ask yourself what is your gut instincts(no pun intended lol) telling you?

I am sorry I rambled.... I see that issue in my own life so I avoided it totally!! Hope this helped.

[jessicaemilia 2]

I thank everyone on here for their heartfelt responses - thank you, thank you, thank you. My closest family members -my husband, my mother, close relatives and a dear friend are 100% behind me. They get that i've tried it all and exhausted all other possibilites of weight loss. This is about more than me as someone on here pointed out, I do this for my duaghter especially....how can i teach her to eat well, and respect her body and to love herself if don't do it myself???

All I owe my daughter, my spouse and myself is to do my research and and truly take steps to be my best self.

AND...i've decided to keep this friend at a distance until after surgery...in order to stay fully positive.