Parents Anti-Mexico = Added Stress

[Scorch 1]

I love my dear old conservative thinking parents dearly, however since revealing that I am having the VSG, I have pretty much been receiving ZERO support from them. In fact it has been more of a backlash and it has reached the point where I don't even want to call them or pick up the phone when they give me a jingle.

My dad tries and research all of the negative things about the surgery. "It is not reversible!", "You are losing 85% of your stomach so now it looks like a banana!", "You won't be able to eat like a normal person again!", "Why can't you diet and exercise like you did before?"

My answers:

1. I know that.

2. And bananas are your favorite food so I don't see the issue.

3. Great! Look where it got me.

4. Because look what happened to me.

I try and explain to him that this is a do-or-die moment in my eyes, but he is set in his ways and is 100% against weight loss surgery of any kind. Old school thinking my dad has.

My mom... was a tad more supportive in the beginning but now is just as bad as my dad. She takes whatever my dad says to her about the surgery (bad things of course) and freaks out. Plus I constantly get questioned from her especially about whether I am going to Mexico or not. My mom thinks Mexico is full of butcher shops and shady doctors that want to take your money.

I admit I panicked when I first told them because of the instant negative response and said the surgery was in San Diego, which of course is not true. Just today my mom made me promise I was not going to Mexico. (*sigh*)

At a time when I should be able to relax and focus on myself pre-op, instead I am stressed out and panicking over what they think. Maybe I shouldn't, but I care too much not to. Eventually the truth is going to have to come out before I leave, or right when I land in San Diego, but it has reached a point where when the truth comes out, they might not want to talk with me for a very long time. Heck they might not ever trust me again.

And THAT to be honest is what hurts the most. The consequences. I am 28 years old and I feel like I am being treated like a child. Basically I am in a bummed out rut and I don't know what to do. I feel like I backed myself into a corner with no way out.

Any feedback or suggestions would be appreciated. Thanks!

[GetInMyBelly 80]

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[Sassygirl06 962]

your parents love you dearly. you are lucky. my mom doesnt know about my surgery because she doesnt even care enough to be in my life. i know its hard to think that they arent being supportive, but i think that they are just scarred that something might go wrong. i know that if my child came to me and said that they were going to have a surgery this invasive in mexico i would be more than freaked out. i think the best thing to do is educate them on the facility that you are planning on going to, and the doctors reputation. while you might not get a big thumbs up from them they will have to respect that you have done your research and the decision is ultimately up to you.

good luck to you!

[Heller2u 11]

I was just sleeved by Dr. Kelly on 10/14. (I'm 45) At first I didn't tell my Mom and only told my sister & niece. As the day approached I called her and asked her to trust my research and not to make me regret telling her. She was very very nervous and scared (which I'm sure your parents are too). She wanted to drop everything and go with me and I told her this was something I had to do for myself and by myself. I gave her Dr. Kelly's information and she researched about him on-line. Up until the day I left, she still had her doubts.

While I was there, I brought my netbook and communicated with them online from time to time (the hospital has free wi-fi, I highly recommend it vs. a cell phone)

When I called her yesterday to let her know I was home and safe and felt great, she told me she was proud of me. I know your parents will come around too when they see how successful your surgery will be. I would be happy to answer any questions you might have via personal message or even give you my email address and I'd even speak to them for you if you'd like.

It will be a difficult time for you if you have this added stress of their lack of support. I would explain to them where you're going and that their support will actually help you to heal and recover.

Good luck to you, Dr. Kelly is wonderful! The nurses are fantastic (tell Sarah Stephanie says hi), the orderly Jose (sometimes called Pepe) was fun and helpful, housekeeping was very friendly! There are some Amish families there too (receiving cancer treatments and other surgeries like hysterectomies). I had a really great experience and no regrets.

[Kimmes 38]

Good luck to you dear - all I can say is I too went to Mexico....and had surgery with Dr Kelly and have not and will not regret the decision ever...EVER. I feel Dr kelly was an amazing surgeon, wonderful Christian man who held my hand and said a prayer before surgery and was there when I woke up. He called on me at the hotel every day and night. I never would have that kind of care in the US

His assistant Trish was so kind and caring - I am 9 months out and she just called me last week to see how I am doing. I consider her a friend. I am 2.8 pounds away from my final goal of 155. Stay the course friend. Sometimes we have to be strong and do what we really know is the right thing for us personally.

I love this old saying:

You can never cross the ocean, unless you have the courage to lose sight of the shore!

Hang in there my friend! Sending you prayers and cyber hugs.

[kemo46 82]

I understand their concern. Please have them read my blog, it will detail my journey in Mexico. I had a great experience and would do it again in a heartbeat. Have your Father pull up the crime stats for Tijuana ( well over 2 million people) and compare it to any major city in the U.S. . He will be surprised. The media blows everything up. There are places you avoid, just like here in the states. Good luck to you.

[A New Day 5]

Please try to relax and do what you know is best for you.

When I told my mom, I also told her I wasn't asking her permission. I knew she would freak out, especially about going to Mexico. I also had the added stress of my husband freaking out too. But they finally both came around and here I am 11 days post op and 13 lbs down so far. I am very happy I did what I knew I needed to do, even though I'm in the toughest part of it right now!

Hang in there! (((hugs)))

[bikerchick519 202]

Hey don't forget your sleeve buddy. I will be there with you going through the same thing. My boyfriend was the same way and he has finally come around. He is still worried but trusts that I picked a good doctor and did my research. Your parents love you and worry about you. They grew up in a different era and don't take chances like we do even though we know it's for the best. They will be so happy for you when they see the weight coming off.

[SouthernSleever 228]

Which doctor are you seeing in Mexico?

[Papa Jack 86]

Good advice here. Your parents do not understand WLS or know diets do not work ( 97% failure rate). No one does. If they ever heard anything it was bad. They are scared as everyone has said. Just have your WLS & they will come around when they see you are ok & are losing weight fast.

[Scorch 1]

Thanks everyone for the support and advice. (I am seeing Dr Kelly in MX) I do feel better now.... still not sure when/how to tell my parents the truth regarding where I am having the surgery, however I have enough confidence to stand behind my decision. It's my life, my body, and this is the path I choose to go down.

So, yes... thanks everyone! This would be the point where I call for a group hug, haha. :grouphug:

[SouthernSleever 228]

<<<HUG>>> You will be so happy and I've heard great things about Dr Kelly

[KellyL 173]

Group Hug!! Don't stress, you're family loves you despite their disapproval of the surgery or MX. It's just because they haven't done the same research you have. We're here for you!

:grouphug:

:welldoneclap:

:party4: