I'm the fat one

[peacequeen 434]

Every year my sisters and nieces go to this magical place together in honor of my mom who is now past away. Tomorrow is the big day for our get together this year. I want to have a good time for my daughter but I'm really dreading it because I've gained even more weight and I don't want to see the judgement in the eyes of some of my family. I'll be the fattest one there. Any words of encouragement would be great. I feel really down on myself lately, still waiting for a date and not losing any pre weight. I am so unmotivated even though this experience should be very motivating,,what's wrong with me???

[BetterthanIwasb4 21]

Be encouraged, think about next year this time when you guys get together & how great you will look!

[Thomas CPA 496]

Your daughter is your inspiration. Think to yourself how much more fun you can have with her if you lost weight and think that as you put food to your mouth. You typically have to lose 10% beforehand to reduce fatty liver and show you are committed to lifestyle eating change.

I lost weight for my son's high school graduation and got sidetracked by before that happened. I am not letting that happen for college graduation next year, down 110 pounds and 15 to go.

Your long term health is your inspiration. You want to live healthy to see daughter grow up, get married perhaps have grandchildren to play with.

You can do it. Forget about your sisters, three months post surgery they will be wondering who you are as you walk around in a new you.

[GetInMyBelly 80]

I'm sure your mom would've wanted u to go ;0) hugs I know it's not easy though.

[LindaS 316]

It helps I think to realize that this will be your heaviest. Next year, you will be much lighter. It makes it easier even if you are the only one that knows that.

[thinoneday 445]

Every year my sisters and nieces go to this magical place together in honor of my mom who is now past away. Tomorrow is the big day for our get together this year. I want to have a good time for my daughter but I'm really dreading it because I've gained even more weight and I don't want to see the judgement in the eyes of some of my family. I'll be the fattest one there. Any words of encouragement would be great. I feel really down on myself lately, still waiting for a date and not losing any pre weight. I am so unmotivated even though this experience should be very motivating,,what's wrong with me???

You said you want to have a good time for your daughter. . then do that. Who cares about who else is around. . it's your child who is important, it's the memory of your mom. . this is not to impress anyone else. . .you are not there to do as the Joneses do, you are there because you care about your mom's memory and because you love your child. . .

You are strong and your a woman, we endure alot in life and you've come this far, you can continue to walk the path. . hold your head up high and enjoy your day! Good luck and be the best you can be !!

[EnjoyingWhoIAmBecoming 16]

I have been where you are. It is going to be okay. I too feel as though I am "the fat one". I am the biggest in my family and I hate when i get around certain members and they say..God you have gotten bigger or You need to hurry up and do something. I feel so ashamed. I am sure that your family is not harsh like mine, but I know how if feels to think that all "eyes" are on you and how much u may have possibly gained. I have isolated myself from so many social events due to my weight. My family has get togethers all the time and I will make up any and every excuse not to go. To be honest I have purposely scheduled myself for work on specail events so that I will not have to attend. That way, I wont have to feel as bad about it because I can just say "I have to work'. Make this year the last year that you allow yourself to feel this way. Cheer up. Next year around this time you will be a force to be reckoned with!!!! Go knowing that you are about to make a life change very shortly and enjoy the time that you are about to spend with them. Keep us posted on how it went. I too have not lost any pre weight. I was discouraged as well. Its okay. Everyday is a new day. It is all part of your process. You may not have lost the weight before hand, but just prepare for what is about to become. You are going to be okay. Looking to hear from you soon

[peacequeen 434]

Well I made it through it. It went well. No one ever really mentions my weight, I have a kind family but my own insecurities make me feel like they stare and wonder what has happened to me. If the subject of weight gets brought up, I usually get the most advice. My daughter is 27 and I have 6 kids and 4 grandchildren so I have alot to live for, that's what keeps me going but doesn't make me feel any less guilty for what I've done to myself. I still have some things to go through before I'm able to have this surgery including approval from the insurance company,,there is some criteria that could stand in my way so I face each day anxiously waiting to hear something. The hospital I'm going through makes you go through every step before you get to hear whether you're approved or not. Well, my 2nd pre op appt is tomorrow so I'm sure I'll get a good chewing because I haven't lost anything but I am looking forward to getting another appt under my belt and meeting the nutrionist to give me some input as to why I'm self sabataging. My therapist thinks it's the life bumps in my past but who knows. Thank you all for listening, I'm sorry I sound like a "debbie downer". I have good days but events really stress me out.

[peacequeen 434]

I know that is true, Zoe,,thank you so much.

[Hetera 44]

You sound really blue... I can relate to your state of mind and your reasoning and fears, but you've got to snap out of it! You're on your way to getting in control of this thing, there's a light at the end of the tunnel!!!!

If you're anything like me, you're pretty conflicted..... "Why couldn't I, can't I, do this myself..." blah blah blah.... and that stress (and guilt) and anticipation of the surgery might be causing you to overeat as a reaction.... understandable if eating has been your coping mechanism for most of your life (like it has been mine!).

But just for now, FORGET the guilt, FORGET being disappointed in yourself. Your picture says you're beautiful! You have a lovely daughter!

Everybody has financial worries, weight worries (even the thin folk), aging worries, family worries.... EVERYBODY has those... you're not alone there!

And so what you're going to be the fattest one there???.... DEFY your negative self talk. This is your family, and they love you no matter what.... and if they judge you, well fuq 'em! In a while, you'll be looking and feeling great.

For the next few days, do HALF of what you you're supposed to do, diet-wise.... And LISTEN TO HAPPY MUSIC... it WILL cheer you up. And for your one meal a day.... eat salmon (if you like fish), and blueberries and/or eggs. Those foods really will improve your mood (and your skin will be GORGEOUS DAHLING!).

And take B12 vitamins.... also a mood booster.

You are DOING THIS THING, BABEH!!!! YEAYUH!

[longer-life 139]

Hi there Peacequeen! I just saw this post. You got great advice. People here are great, aren't they?

I can relate. I am the heaviest in my family as well and even though they love me a lot and are kind, it is still hard. I gained weight for my sisters wedding years ago and I was the maid of honor! Ugh! I hope your appointment at the surgeons office went well.

Big hug!

[peacequeen 434]

Hetera, that was really good advice. I'm trying very hard to pep up the mood..keeping busy and I had my 2nd pre op appt today and it went great..very motivating. Thank you so much for the helpful post..fun way you put things

Hey, LL. I saw the NUT (amazing lady..I learned so much) and phy. asst. It went really well and I'm feeling more and more comfortable with the process. I have a list of things I have to do but I'm gonna kick it in the butt. I'm starting to get fed up and determined. It's that moment when you're like..OK,,enough of my sad sappy pity party..thanks to this forum and that appt today, I'm on my way.

I made it through the family day out and next year I'll be one of the smaller ones..hehe