UNsuccessful Story :( . . . trying to get back on track

[misspatrice 5]

Okay where do I begin?! I'm literally 13 days away from my one year surgiversary and am not excited in the least bit. I am no where near my goal and have slowly gained almost 15 lbs in the last 2 1/2 months.

My daughter's father passed away July 28th of this year and it totally just took me by surprise. He was a big guy (but not "that" big) but long story short he went to ER on a Monday . . . learned he had diabetes and was near a stroke and went into cardiac arrest on a Thursday and passed. He was only 28.

And even though we've been broken up for YEARS I still took it hard. My daughter cried and is sad but she is doing great. She's 6 1/2 and understands but is doing well.

I've stayed away from this site because I'm so embarrassed and ashamed that I let my emotions get the best of me and literally threw in the towel to any and ALL weight loss efforts. For me this post sleeve journey hasn't been effortless. I've gone to the gym the day my dr cleared me to go and have had to burn every pound I've burned. So when I stopped exercising and counting carbs/calories I started gaining little by little.

I don't want to make this too long and don't want to be "debbie downer" but I guess I'm just venting in a place where (hopefully) someone has experienced what I have. A little bit of success and then some weight gain and a success again (hopefully).

The lowest weight I have gotten to was 206 (from 285 day of surgery and 306 at the start of Kaiser's Options Program). I stay away from the scale but last time I weighed myself I was 220/221!!! . . . but it fluctuates from 217/220 ish. I was SO close to onderland I could taste it! lol . . . and now it seems oh so far away. I just don't know where to start.

Oh I guess I should add I got engadged about a month ago to my boyfriend of a yr and a 1/2. So you would think planning a wedding would make me more motivated to get my butt moving. It's done the opposite! lol . . . yikes! I need help!

Thanks for reading

[favoredone 590]

Thanks for sharing.. I'm so sorry for everything that has happened.. CONGRATS on your weight loss and engagement!!

Sometimes life happens... All we can do is get back in there and not beat ourselves up... I haven't been sleeved yet, but I utilize this site to keep me motivated to working towards getting there... I'm sure almost everyone has had a period where they stopped doing what works.. but, you have accomplished a lot in almost a year, don't diminish that!!...

You are in my prayers and thoughts!!!

[NikiS 31]

Awww, Sweetie, you have done a fantastic job in the past and I'm confident you will do so again. Yes, you did take some time off but necessary time - you lost someone very close to you. The great things are: you've lost and kept off 60+ pounds and you're engaged!! Those are 2 very big and exciting things. Dwell there and enjoy those things for a while. You sound like you're getting back on track and that's great! Be encouraged and work your plan.

Chin up!

Niki

[wishes 125]

Aw, you will get back there. I am so sorry. Life happens, but you realized there is a problem and you can fix it.

[LilMissDiva Irene 3,282]

Patrice... first let me say I'm so sorry to hear about your loss, as well as your daughters. Big big ((((hugs))))!!!!!

I've always felt a kinship with you and I feel very sad to hear about all of this. I want to tell you this - and I have to emphasize it, so forgive me. YOU!!! ARE!!! NOT!!! ALONE!!! Girl, do you have any idea how much I've struggled for the past decade with my weight? My first WLS was a total, miserable, EPIC FAIL!!! I was also over 300 Lbs at one point... and with the lap band got myself all the way down to 227 Lbs. Yes, I still remember the exact weight because when I started going back up that number started being illuminated in my head like a GIANT NEON SIGN!

Well all that is over and done with, but not before gaining nearly every pound back that I'd lost with my band. I got back up to within 2 Lbs of my surgery weight. Sooo sad!!! I had to fix it though. Me and no one else. I did revise to the sleeve and I made a huge promise to myself that I WON'T do that again! I had to get myself together the best way I knew how, and that's exactly what I did.

That said, if it weren't for the sleeve I don't care how many promises I've made to myself... I'd still be fat today.

You my friend have such a WONDERFUL tool inside you. Use it!!! Look at it this way, if you didn't have your sleeve - how much weight do you think you could have gained in your time of grief? And yes, it's ok to grieve for the man who you have your precious child with. But... you said so yourself, he died from a preventable disease. Don't let that be you... your daughter has no one else now. She's counting on you to use that tool you have and get back to being healthy and being the Mom she deserves. Your future husband deserves you to be the best Wife you can be. YOU DESERVE to be the best of any woman you can be!!!

It's time to start really considering all the reason TO GET BACK ON TRACK rather than any reasons to keep going down the road you are going.

I say all of this out of nothing but wanting the best for you! Because THAT is what YOU deserve.

Things to do:

1. Get back to the gym.
2. Starting now... eat the sleever way. Protein first, veggies second. 60g Protein per day and no less than 64 oz fluids per day.
3. Never forget ALL the reasons YOU SHOULD keep doing #1 and #2.

I'm here for you. I can't say I know what you're going through, but I sincerely sympathize. I care!!! But I also want you to succeed, because I KNOW YOU CAN! Question is, don't you? I hope so.

[gonnagetthere 2]

Congratulations on the success you've already had and on your engagement. You can do this. You did it before and you can again. I didn't lose anything last week because I ate carbs all week, but today I had to get back on the train and focus on eating Protein. There's not a person I know who hasn't fallen off for a period of time whether it was one week or one year. The important thing is to get back on and with the sleeve I believe it is easier. Good luck. Keep us posted.

Okay where do I begin?! I'm literally 13 days away from my one year surgiversary and am not excited in the least bit. I am no where near my goal and have slowly gained almost 15 lbs in the last 2 1/2 months.

My daughter's father passed away July 28th of this year and it totally just took me by surprise. He was a big guy (but not "that" big) but long story short he went to ER on a Monday . . . learned he had diabetes and was near a stroke and went into cardiac arrest on a Thursday and passed. He was only 28.

And even though we've been broken up for YEARS I still took it hard. My daughter cried and is sad but she is doing great. She's 6 1/2 and understands but is doing well.

I've stayed away from this site because I'm so embarrassed and ashamed that I let my emotions get the best of me and literally threw in the towel to any and ALL weight loss efforts. For me this post sleeve journey hasn't been effortless. I've gone to the gym the day my dr cleared me to go and have had to burn every pound I've burned. So when I stopped exercising and counting carbs/calories I started gaining little by little.

I don't want to make this too long and don't want to be "debbie downer" but I guess I'm just venting in a place where (hopefully) someone has experienced what I have. A little bit of success and then some weight gain and a success again (hopefully).

The lowest weight I have gotten to was 206 (from 285 day of surgery and 306 at the start of Kaiser's Options Program). I stay away from the scale but last time I weighed myself I was 220/221!!! . . . but it fluctuates from 217/220 ish. I was SO close to onderland I could taste it! lol . . . and now it seems oh so far away. I just don't know where to start.

Oh I guess I should add I got engadged about a month ago to my boyfriend of a yr and a 1/2. So you would think planning a wedding would make me more motivated to get my butt moving. It's done the opposite! lol . . . yikes! I need help!

Thanks for reading

[pattimomof3nj 21]

Irene said it better than anyone could have. I lost my ex SIL a year ago, and let me tell you, that my brother was a freaking mess. they had been divorced for nearly 12 years, and he was still a mess. But I had to pull him aside one day a few months after and 'slap' some sense into him. (not really) You are all she has now. My niece was 14, your daughter is 6, big difference, but not really. A parent is a parent, and you need to show your daughter that you can be a healthy happy mommy that she needs. she knows, trust me she does, why her daddy is not here anymore. He was NOT healthy, she saw the way he lived his life. You do not want her to go to sleep at night worrying about you. My ex SIL took her life because she was not mentally healthy, but my niece knew that long before any of us knew it.

Please for your daughter, get back up on that horse and ride the rest of your journey to the healthy person that you know you can be. If you are having issues with food, go back to basics. Start up with your shakes again, do you Protein, get your Water in. Start going for walks with your daughter and your fiancee. Make it a family thing, start a new tradition after dinner. Family walk time, just 20 - 30 minutes is all you need. You'll see it will make you all feel so much better and closer.

We are here for you whenever you need to vent, cry or b*tch about anything!!!

YOU CAN DO IT!!!

[misspatrice 5]

Thank you guys OH SO much. I needed to hear EVERY thing that EACH of you has said. It's great to know that I have a place to go that I have been afraid to revisit . . . and get support. Even when I'm doing everything WRONG.

I will get back on track asap. Gym, and back to basics like you mentioned. Thanks so much. I feel like I do need to focus on how far I came and not give up despite being off track for the last few months.

And Irene you are truly an inspiration. You look amazing! Keep it up . . . Everyone looks really good. I'm trying to catch up on all the "updates". You guys are all very inspiring. Thanks!

I probably would have gained way more if I didn't have my sleeve. I didn't really think about that. But that's so true.

[KellyL 173]

I'm sorry for what you've been through and for you and your daughters loss. You have taken the first step I think to finding your way back by coming back to this forum. It will be difficult to get back on track, but easier with the support of this board than trying to do it alone. You still have your tool, the sleeve to help you succeed. You can absolutely do this!! Do it for you AND your daughter! Protein first, low carb, get plenty of fluids in and some type of exercise, even if it's just walking. It will do wonders for your body and your stress. And visiting this forum will help keep you focused too. Good luck to you on getting back on track, and we're here for you!

[PamelaAM 16]

Patrice! I am just now seeing this post - haven't been on the board that much. I too, started going up again and gained 14 lbs. Am struggling to get it off again but started going to the gymn every morning and love how it makes me feel. Haven't lost anything but I need to get the food under control too. You tend to forget how easy it is to go back to old eating habits - maybe not as much but still the wrong stuff. So now I am only at the half way mark - back up to only 50 lbs lost so have another 50 to go. Bound and determined to get there. .

[misspatrice 5]

Hi Pam! . . . I haven't been on here much either. Mostly because of how poorly I've been doing. It was so easy to turn to food while dealing with a death. But now it's time to pick up the pieces. I'm slowly getting back into the swing of things. Good luck to you. . . . I'm determined as well