What will I do now with my anger, sadness, anxiety and fear once the food is gone?

[bethk12@gmail.com 0]

Hi All,

So I am writing this as I am eating cookie dough and 3 weeks until my surgery. So my therapist is concerned about my self-destructiveness- how will manage after the surgery? how will handle my addictive behaviors? how will my feelings that I stuff down with food emerge and what will that look like? I am scared to death...Is their any post-op's that can shed light here?

[lsereno 2,525]

I spent time working on these issues pre-surgery. Here's what works for me:

Exercise. I hated it and still would rather not, but it truly makes me feel better. Totally bummed? Walk outside. Feeling depressed, set the alarm and hit the a class at the gym before work. Yes, it would be easier to just eat a few donuts, but - a. I can't now and b. The more I lean on exercise, the more I want it because it gives a better result. It can make me feel better than food ever did.

Counseling: I took a cognitive behavior class at Kaiser that was a godsend. (Never had realized how much self talk is negative and that I would never talk to any one else the way I talked to myself in my head!) And I also did some one on one counseling and tried a 12-step program on for size.

Hobby or other interest: Honestly, I spend a lot of time I used to spend snacking trolling these boards and typing. Hard to eat and type at the same time :-)

Make changes instead of avoiding a problem. I finally dealt with my #1 troubled relationship by attending a 12 week class for families with a mentally ill family member and learning better ways to deal with them. I finally realized that I was not helping my family member by letting them abuse me and put some distance between us. It hurts sure, but it hurts less than the mess of a relationship we were having.

Yes, it's scary and hard but I am so much happier now and I feel like have more to give as well.

Good luck to you!

Lynda

[bethk12@gmail.com 0]

I spent time working on these issues pre-surgery. Here's what works for me:

Exercise. I hated it and still would rather not, but it truly makes me feel better. Totally bummed? Walk outside. Feeling depressed, set the alarm and hit the a class at the gym before work. Yes, it would be easier to just eat a few donuts, but - a. I can't now and b. The more I lean on exercise, the more I want it because it gives a better result. It can make me feel better than food ever did.

Counseling: I took a cognitive behavior class at Kaiser that was a godsend. (Never had realized how much self talk is negative and that I would never talk to any one else the way I talked to myself in my head!) And I also did some one on one counseling and tried a 12-step program on for size.

Hobby or other interest: Honestly, I spend a lot of time I used to spend snacking trolling these boards and typing. Hard to eat and type at the same time :-)

Make changes instead of avoiding a problem. I finally dealt with my #1 troubled relationship by attending a 12 week class for families with a mentally ill family member and learning better ways to deal with them. I finally realized that I was not helping my family member by letting them abuse me and put some distance between us. It hurts sure, but it hurts less than the mess of a relationship we were having.

Yes, it's scary and hard but I am so much happier now and I feel like have more to give as well.

Good luck to you!

Lynda

[bethk12@gmail.com 0]

Thanks Lynda... I appreciate your honesty. Congrats on your weight loss and new life!

[SKCUNNINGHAM 298]

Bayarea - you have identified the "hard part" of the sleeve journey for me. I think the things pointed out by lsereno are the way to go - professional help- for the underlying issues and developing alternate activities.

The tough thing for me was I used to use food to "check out" of my emotions. Now, I stay in the moment and deal with what is bothering me. Not easy to do at all times - particularly since it was a lifetime (50+ year) habit. Like a book I have on my self says "Food is easy - life is hard".

Good luck with the journey.

[Sweetybabs 13]

Looks like we are both on track for surgery around the same time! Mine is Nov. 2nd!

My suggestion, as a pre-op too, is that you postpone your surgery until you have dealt with the emotional eating! This is crutcial to the success of the WLS. I have a darling friend who had the RNY and she did not deal with her emotional eating before her surgery. Now she over eats and "dumps" several times a day..this has gone on for years now. Because of this, she is having other health issues because of the constant dumping!

I know this isn't what you wanted to hear...but it is a suggestion that may benefit you in the long run. I hope all works out well for you! God bless!

[hadouni 301]

Right there with you!!! I'm terrified and as much as I WANT to NOT want to eat, I'm so afraid I'll never be free. My PCP had me take welbutrin for a while last year and I had about three months of feeling normal. For the first time I could actually take a step back from something my brain wanted and not eat it. Unfortunately, that only lasted about four months and then I started to feel really tired all the time and I became even less active... I'm off the welbutrin now but the anxiety is ramped up some.

[SmokyMtnGal2011 10]

professional help is a great solution to dealing with negative self talks, anger, etc. I know it has helped me and help me keep things in prepective through this journey. You owe it to yourself, to be your best and gather ALL the tools you need to do so. The Sleeve is not the only answer in this Quest. Good luck.