To Tell or Not to Tell

[bratvp63 118]

I am new here...I am almost through my pre-surgery testing and 6 month supervised diet (insurance required) and should have a Dec or Jan surgery date. What I am wondering is did you tell people you were doing WLS before you did it? Did you wait till the weight started coming off and people notice before you said anything? Would love to know how much info you shared and with whom.

[ILKrista 36]

I told friends, family, & coworkers that I was having weightloss surgery when I first started the process. It just seemed easier to tell them rather than to know that they would be talking about my eating habits & weightloss behind my back & speculating about the cause. For the most part, they have been supportive... there have been a few exceptions, but I figure I'm living my life for me, not them, so I'm not too worried about what they think. I am a children's librarian at a public library. At this point in my journey, I get asked about my weightloss nearly every day. People will compliment me on the weightloss & then ask what I'm doing. I've decided to just be upfront & tell them about the surgery. Really, it is none of their business, but my hope is that being open will help someone else who has struggled with morbid obesity realize that it is okay to have the surgery... that surgery is not a failure, but a victory over a life-threatening condition. One person being honest is what lead me here, so I hope I can help someone else. But everyone has to make their own decision on who to tell.

Krista

[christin 54]

I am a single mom of a teenage girl and I shared it with her because I will be leaving town and can't imagine not sharing it anyway since we are very open with each other. I don't plan on sharing it with anyone else.

I have also decided to use vacation time at work instead of medical PDO because I don't want have to discuss any kind of medical procedure with my boss causing questions. I personally just feel it is nobody's business and I am generally a private person anyway. I have so much medical leave saved up that it makes me frustrated not to use it, but I am a horrible liar and don't think I can pull it off without just saying I am going out of town for the week which is technically true.

[Thomas CPA 496]

I told family and some friends. Now when people ask me about what I did I tell them first 60 lbs diet/exercise and last 40 through sleeve surgery. Beforehand though I didn't think it was necessary to tell anyone except family.

[longer-life 139]

You will find lots of threads on this. We don't all agree and that is ok. Everyone should do what they feel comfortable doing.

I haven't had surgery yet and I have told my family & close friends. I don't want to hear horror stories from acquaintances before surgery.

After surgery I will tell anyone that asks. Why? An old college friend that lives overseas and therefore I only see on Facebook was honest when I asked her. She could have lied easily and I would have never known. Thanks to her I heard about VSG for the first time ever. I would like to do that for someone else.

[indy sleever 6]

I started a similar thread on this topic back before I was sleeved. I was going into this process with only me and my husband knowing what I was planning to do. I have 2 small children and I just felt there was no reason to worry or scare them. I am very close to my parents... they actually live across the street! But I didn't want them to worry or try to talk me out of my decision. I am close to people at work... I work in a family business. But again I didn't want anyone to worry or talk behind my back. I am super close to my neighbors... we go camping together all the time! But I didn't want to broadcast this to them or any of my other friends. In the end I decided to keep this to myself and my husand. The day of surgery and time I spent in the hospital I told all my friends, family and coworkers that would notice I was gone for a few days that I was going out of town to visit an old college friend of mine I kept my fingers crossed that I would have no complications! Everything went perfectly. My worry when I started my thread was "is only 1 person knowing what I am going through going to be enough support?". My husband is very supportive but I didn't want to put all my emotions on his shoulders. I have to say it has been a breeze. I know everyone is different with this procedure though. So here I am 6 weeks out from surgery and down 31lbs... I thought keeping the secret would be so difficult. I thought everyone would be on to me and would be asking questions. Not the case at all. Everyone of the people I am close to knew I wanted to lose weight. They had all watched me over the years do one diet after another. All they know is that this time that "diet" is working. And in the end I am the one making this happen! It is my choices every day that make me lose weight. I am proud to take the credit of what I have done. I get so much encouragement from my family, friends and coworkers. They are all complimenting my success all the time. I wouldn't have it any other way. I have been so insecure about my weight for so long that it would have just added to my shame to let everyone in on my decision to have weight loss surgery. I was not proud that I was heavy enough for surgery. Making the decision to go through with it broke my heart. To me that is something very private. That being said making the decision to be sleeved was the best thing I ever could have done for myself. Good luck to you! Whether you share your journey or not just know that you are going to do great

[k__ 3]

I'm a strong believer in telling for a couple of reasons. The main reason? Every single time I "tell", I get very helpful information. People know something about it I don't, people have tips for succeeding, people have stories about why others have failed. Second reason? The people I've been in contact with are overwhelmingly supportive. And you need all the support you can get going through this. Sure, you'll meet those who aren't. Take them as a personal growth challenge that exists in other areas of life as well - get a good comeback or simply ignore. Third reason? Keeping secrets is a psychic burden. Usually the risks of keeping one aren't worth it. Fourth reason? It can help many others.

Very very best to you!

[christin 54]

Reading the posts of all the ones who are telling is making me feel like a chicken for not telling.... :leaving:

[minniekitty 44]

Reading the posts of all the ones who are telling is making me feel like a chicken for not telling.... :leaving:

Don't feel like a chicken for not telling. Weight loss surgery is a very personal experience. It's your business and you are not required to tell anyone else.

I've only told some of my family and friends. If you don't want to tell people, then don't.