How is weight loss for people over 50?

[BJean 16]

Family dynamics are awfully strange. For years, I thought we were all so close and loved each other unconditionally. Once we (4 children) were grown, things became very complicated and competitive. Both my parents have died and my sister who was 13 months older than I, also died. My older brother and sister hardly ever talk to each other and although I email my brother and his wife, I hardly ever talk to my sister and her children. I never, ever thought I would see the day when I was estranged from a family member. I work hard to keep the lines of communication with my sister open, out of respect for my mother, but my sister is so wierd, and so volatile sometimes, I am kinda scared of her. Who needs to unleash those hounds?

[crabcake 0]

...but they were not well equipped to be parents...

My theory is just because you can have children doesn't mean you should!

[BJean 16]

We grow up thinking that our parents aren't just people. We think that they are the know all, be all, end all. When they do something that is... just human, and make some very basic mistakes, even stupid painful mistakes, then we children are completely shocked. I mean these are the same people we relied on for every piece of information in the world during our first years of life. For many of us, we relied on them long after we started school as the people who always knew best. When they had us, they were charged with the responsibility of making only the best decisions in life for us.

Fact is, most of our parents are just like us. No Ph.d in parenting prior to getting the job. Everything you do as a parent is either flying by the seat of your pants or from something your parents told you or something you may have picked up in a book or from a friend. Trial and error mostly. And almost NEVER perfectly correct.

Too many parents are self-centered children who just never grew up. Just because someone births a child, it doesn't automatically turn them into a responsible parent. The best advice I was ever given was to always keep the best interests of my child in mind whenever I make a decision that involves them. Sounds simple. It isn't.

If people thought of their children first, they might never get a divorce. If adults put a potential child's needs ahead of their own, they might never choose to have the child. Having a child should be a completely selfless decision and far too many people have children only for very selfish reasons.

I am impressed with people who are smart enough to figure this out before they have children.

[gailannr 1]

I consider myself one of the lucky ones! My parents left my siblings (eight of us) such a legacy and rich heritage. While raising us kids, they had no earthly riches except for music and a couple of old steam engines! They left their music and steam engines to 5 boys who play old time swing music (Dad) and rock and roll! All five of my brothers have boilerman licenses and know how to fire up those steam engines. Every other August we thresh, party, dance and rock and roll at our "Family and Friends reunion back in good ole Minnesota. Our children and our grandchildren and lifelong friends all try to make it from near and far including Nevada, Washington, Colorado and Massachusetts.

Our life was rough too, my father was an alcoholic and died from IT and cigarettes. He quit both about 3 years before he died. I never doubted after I was a grown adult that my parents loved each and everyone of us kids more than they were ever able to put into words. I have to admit tho, I didn't feel like it sometimes when I was younger. That's when they were trying to do the best they could with what they knew. That's what I had to do too. I suppose I might have been a little better at parenting then they were but I sure made my mistakes along the way!

I try to live by this little saying I ran across many years ago:

Live so that when your children think of fairness and integrity, they think of YOU!

[BJean 16]

gailannr: That is a wonderful tribute to your parents. They may not have been absolutely perfect in every way, but for their children and grandchildren to have a legacy of laughter, love, music and dancing is great as far as I'm concerned!

I love the idea of having my children think of my DH and me when they hear the words, integrity and fairness. Those are two of the most important qualities that I believe we strive for every day in every way.

[DynamoMini 1]

gailannr - I love your family. The good and the bad. You never doubted their love for each other and love for you. You have been blessed.

You are doing really well with the band, and your surgery was recent. Best wishes,

[Oregondaisy 2,021]

It just goes to show us how our family life played a huge part in our food issues.

[BJean 16]

My family life has always been centered around food. When I was growing up, meals were a time where we shared all our daily experiences with each other. That was cool, because we laughed and cried together. But make no mistake about mealtime, the best part was the food. We didn't seem to kid ourselves that food was for nutrition only. We prayed and thanked God for helping "this food go to the nourishment of our bodies", but we knew that we ate it because it looked, smelled, tasted and felt good. We loved to linger over the table after a meal, talking and laughing and sharing, until we were able to have that second helping of dessert.

When you have those kinds of memories related to food, it is no wonder that with food I'm always trying to recapture those wonderful, fun, loving moments (and that wonderful filled up body) every day of my life.

Never let it be said that LB Talk isn't therapy!

[green 6]

I became quite chunky after being exiled to boarding school. The grub there was mostly carbs. My mother came from England and cooked plain and often rather boring food. We did eat vast quantities of over-cooked meat in those days. But the most fattening things we ate when I was young were potato latkes and pierogis, a lethal combo of carbs and fat.

As an adult I acquired a taste for food with sauces and cheese and then post-menopause - which happened when I was 41 - I started to get a little meatier. The real damage began after I turned 50!!!!! By 57 I was a chunky monkey and on the road to worse. That is why I was banded last September.

[BJean 16]

Green: I went to a "Fat Farm" in Vermont when we lived in Montreal. They were anti-meat and the menu everyday consisted of high carb content foods. Sugar wasn't on a no-no list with them. Just no far or meat. I didn't gain weight during that month, but I only lost 7 lbs. and had stepped up my exercise by about 60%. For Breakfast they served mostly Bagels with a tablespoon of natural Peanut Butter. When I got home I looked up the calorie content and I could have had some scrambled eggs and half a piece of toast for that. I learned a lot at that boot camp they called a spa (HA) and one of the big lessons was that too many carbs are not my friend.

[green 6]

BJean: it sounds like that spa should be called a 'getting fat farm.' I am deeply in love with Bagels but there ain't no way a grrl is going to lose weight on a bagel diet.:faint:

As for me, I have just signed on for the next frontier: a face lift!!!!! :welldoneclap: And I am kinda terrified, eh.:omg: It seems that there will be pain and I am a sissy when it comes to pain.:nervous Jeez, I hope I don't end up looking like Pamela Lee Anderson....:rolleyes Now that would be false advertising!:heh: I could get arrested..................:Banane20:

[BJean 16]

Green I am so jealous I am green with envy. 'cuse the expression.

Seriously. I have wanted a face lift for several years. Needed one even longer. My neck is disgusting, have jowls like you wouldn't believe and eyes like I just crawled out of bed. Otherwise, I'm quite attractive. :embarassed:

If they would lift some of the midrift about 6 inches, I might pass for Pamela - at least in the boob department. You're a blonde so you have more to worry about there... think of it... getting mistaken for her on a nice warm Mexican beach, getting hit on by all those attractive Latin margarita mixers. What's the worry, now that I think about it!?

Are you doing this soon? How long since your LB surgery? Weren't you banded in September? I thought we were supposed to wait 2 years before we have any other surgery? I have noticed that there are several September bandsters who are having TTs, etc. Are you getting the full face lift? I'm positively green, Green!

[DynamoMini 1]

meeeeeee tooooooooo, Jealous and greeeeeeeeen!

I haven't been banded, but know the plastic surgery will have to come after. I think it is a good idea to wait some time to let the skin tighten as much as naturally possible. For sure I'll need a TT, all the weight is there, additionally the neck will look like a rooster's.

Oh the joys of weight loss, and my surgery isn't until April 16th. I heard Thailand has great plastic surgeons, I was considering a trip in a couple of years. Ha ha....

Best wishes all you gorgeous chicks!

[BJean 16]

Gobble, gobble.

Which is pretty funny when I think of it. Just a few months ago I got Synvisc injections in my knees... how appropriate! It's made from rooster comb.

[BJean 16]

P.S. Green the Bagels we found at a downtown indoor market in Montreal were unbelievable! They made them in front of our eyes and were so fantastic that I used to take them to friends in Orlando when I flew down for visits. I was nearly attacked several times by other airline passengers because of the aroma of warm bagels. These days with airlines no longer feeding passengers, I would no longer take that chance!