Why would you say that?

[StephS3 7]

Background...I was sleeved on 7/7/11. My highest weight was 321 lbs, but I am guessing it was a tad higher than that before I started the 2 week liquid diet. Presurgery I was 306 lbs. Currently 264 lbs. So I have lost at least 57 lbs in about 2 1/2 months. I know I am probably on the slower end of losing weight, but I have been thrilled with the results. I am exersizing alot, I am eating well, I am fitting into clothes I haven't fit in years. It would be safe to say I am thrilled about my weight loss so far.

Yesterday...I was in the car with my mom. She asked how much weight I had lost and I told her over 50 lbs. So she went on a 10 minute talk on how people on the Biggest Loser could lose 50 lbs in a few weeks and how she and my dad had been talking about why I hadn't lost more weight given the small amount I have been eating. And I'm sitting there thinking, WOW, seriously is this helpful at all. Can't you just say good job, keep up the good work. Why would you tell me that, behind my back, you and dad are basically talking about how I am failing on this journey.

So I basically just said that everyone's body is different and that the Biggest Loser isn't an accurate picture of how normal people attempt to lose weight. If I had all day everyday to work out and a nutitionist and personal trainer basically living with me, and consulting with me daily then maybe it would be different, but that I have done what I can for me and I can't compare myself to others.

Honestly, I have been thinking about the talk all night and since I know going back to her and ranting won't do any good, I figured I would post on this board and rant to you all...

Has anyone else had an experience like this?

[RRcubed 2]

Wow. 50 lbs in 2.5 months is amazing by any standard. Not everyone on the biggest loser drops huge numbers every week, and through elimination they basically select for the faster losing bodies. You are right on track. Just keep doing things right and everyone will be amazed.

[Shoppingbeemom 31]

57 lbs in 2 1/2 months is amazing. Your tool is working and you don't need to feel bad about any part of it. The old saying is the proof is in the pudding.This is a long term permanent goal. By next year she will see how healthy you are and shouldn't have anything negative to say. You may want to have a heart to heart with her and tell her you would like her to be one of the people who is cheering on every time you lose, not telling you it is never good enough. best wishes

[LindaS 316]

I loved your response!

I have had that. My mother-in-law was commenting about how fast an aunt lost her weight after gastric bypass and comparing the aunt to me. My MIL basically said I was losing weight slowly. At that point, I had lost 30 pounds in 30 days, and I said I would hardly call that slow. She insisted that it was slow, but she thought it was good that I was losing "so slowly." Grrr.

I didn't have anywhere near as nice a comeback as you did.

[Ruby 26]

Well.. i too have been thru this conversation... as my cousin had the surgery 5 yrs ago and lost lots of weight fast. I am being compared to her by my husband, because my cousin said" when i was 8 weeks out i could not eat as much as you do" that comment has made my husband question if i am really losing weight and maybe not losing fast enough.. i was livid.... and sad all at the same time... although he later apologized for being negative....it made me sad and i question everything i do know from eating, drinking.. and wonder maybe i should not eat at all.. lol..

its tough but i like the other folks above that have commented think you are doing great and you are exactly where you need to be on this journey.

:-)

[Rootman 1,101]

As the others have stated, you're doing fine, in fact you're doing fantastic!

Just my 2 cents: It never ceases to amaze me what a$$holes people can be - even parents! Ignore her.

[SuperMom 33]

Three people at work asked me if I have cancer. Apparently there was a conversation in the ER and someone jokingly said that is how I had lost the weight.....funny......why would someone even JOKE about that?????????

I did go buy scrubs which I was not going to do yet..........but apparently since I look like SH** I felt like maybe that would make me look better and not like a cancer patient. LOLOL....

OH well I feel better and have been very happy lately...............SO GOING TO LET IT ROLL OFF MY BACK AND YOU SHOULD TOO.........we don't need negativity..........the sleeve is a good thing...........and as long as it is going in the right direction keep inching along and let the negative people stew in their own unhappiness!

[KellyL 173]

I know exactly what you mean, I think it's because they see us so much, sometimes they forget how much bigger we were at one point. I was having similar problems with people saying, oh i can see it in your face....after I had lost a good bit. My clothes were already starting to get really loose. And they can only see the difference in my face? I do tend to lose top to bottom first. I lose in my face, boobs, then the rest seems to take forever, but still...... It wasn't until my mother in law found an older pic of me at my highest weight, that she really noticed and really started complimenting me and telling me how much of a difference she sees.

The TV shows are ridiculous, who in the world has time to exercise for 4-5 hrs a day? And how realistic is it to believe they can continue doing that kind of execise regimen after the show is over with? I worry that it sets them up for failure. Anyway, good luck to you, and don't let peoples ignorance get to you, you're doing GREAT!! 57 lbs in 2 1/2 months is phenomenal!!!

[Disney 20]

Please don't let those comments get you down. You have done a fantastic job and will continue to, I am sure. Just keep on doing what you're doing. Obviously it is working. People who have not walked in our shoes are completely clueless and sometimes say things before their brain can stop them. You are SO right about the biggest loser contestants. Losing weight is their full time job while they are on the "ranch" and it is not realistic for most of us. Hey, and guess what? Tell your mom to research and see how many of those biggest losers gained back a significant amount of their weight within months of getting off the show. Sometimes weeks. They are few an far between that keep the weight off for any period of time simply because they don't have those cooks, trainers, nutritionists, coaches, and giant cash prize motivating them anymore. At least you have this tool that will help you keep it off in the long run.

Keep your chin up. Your friends here understand and will listen to you vent anytime!!

[Mr-Smith 7]

My mom cared so much she over did it with trying to "encourage" me, her encouragement crossed the line to criticism more then once. There was no bad intent in her heart, just poorly executed comments. It wasn't until I was a grown up that I fully realized how much she cared and how difficult it was for her to see me suffer and how hard it was for her to provide constructive support. She died a few years back due to her own co morbitities. One of the reasons I moved forward with the surgery.

[emily_0192010 168]

I've looked up some of the biggest loser stats, and the majority of the people gain it all back when they get home. Some keep it off, but as soon as something "real life" hits them, like pregnancy, they gain it all back. The sleeve is a life-long tool. It is NOT meant to make us lose weight super quickly. In fact, it really isn't healthy to lose super fast.

I am really sorry that your mom said something like that. My grandmother is just like her. She is queen of the backhanded compliment/critique. You know where they say something nice but then throw in words like "you will be" or "i always thought you would be fat" type of comments. It hurts even though you know they are wrong. I would have a conversation with her and tell her that you either need her to back off completely or to start being a support system. You are doing amazing! Don't let her bring you down okay

[LindaS 316]

SuperMom, I love your goal for the year! I know exactly what you mean about wanting to be in pictures.

[thinoneday 445]

Background...I was sleeved on 7/7/11. My highest weight was 321 lbs, but I am guessing it was a tad higher than that before I started the 2 week liquid diet. Presurgery I was 306 lbs. Currently 264 lbs. So I have lost at least 57 lbs in about 2 1/2 months. I know I am probably on the slower end of losing weight, but I have been thrilled with the results. I am exersizing alot, I am eating well, I am fitting into clothes I haven't fit in years. It would be safe to say I am thrilled about my weight loss so far.

Yesterday...I was in the car with my mom. She asked how much weight I had lost and I told her over 50 lbs. So she went on a 10 minute talk on how people on the Biggest Loser could lose 50 lbs in a few weeks and how she and my dad had been talking about why I hadn't lost more weight given the small amount I have been eating. And I'm sitting there thinking, WOW, seriously is this helpful at all. Can't you just say good job, keep up the good work. Why would you tell me that, behind my back, you and dad are basically talking about how I am failing on this journey.

So I basically just said that everyone's body is different and that the Biggest Loser isn't an accurate picture of how normal people attempt to lose weight. If I had all day everyday to work out and a nutitionist and personal trainer basically living with me, and consulting with me daily then maybe it would be different, but that I have done what I can for me and I can't compare myself to others.

Honestly, I have been thinking about the talk all night and since I know going back to her and ranting won't do any good, I figured I would post on this board and rant to you all...

Has anyone else had an experience like this?

Wow girl I'm so sorry this has happened to you, but you know what? Families are weird in that they know they can hurt you and be mean to you because they will always be forgiven. . .your mom sounds like she is trying to sabotage your efforts cause she CAN see that your doing well, so there might be some jealousy there. Don't take it personal (although that is hard) but you are doing excellent! Your right on track! I had my surgery and went back to work 2 weeks thereafter, and there was one lady in the clinic who literally came up to me and said "I thought you had surgery?" I told her I did and her comment just blew my mind. . . she said "so why aren't you skinny?" She was as serious as a heart attack. . . I just looked at her and laughed, she didn't laugh she was looking at me with all seriousness, i just walked away shaking my head . . some people just don't get it, some people are just down right mean and nasty. . . be patient with your mom, she is ignorant on this topic and probably hasn't researched it, educate her, give her literature about the sleeve and of course maybe at your next doctors appt, take her with you, . . at the doctors appt announce to the doctor that your mom (with her sitting there of course) feels you aren't losing fast enough and that she feels that biggest loser people are doing so much better . . . . see what the doctor says to her and see if she'll ever do that again to you. Good luck and keep up the excellent work. .

[Lisa the loser 13]

Your doing fantastic!! Dont even worry I am 5 months post op and have only lost 55 so your not slow at all!! This journey is about the way you feel NOT the way you look and I know you feel better and better everyday!! Good luck girl keep up the good work!!!!

[Fusilli66 22]

"Reality TV" shows are far from Reality and a lot of it is staged and the magic of TV. You are not on a TV show, nd to compare you to that is wrong. But, I'm sure it came from a place of concern and probably some ignorance. Just know in your heart that you are doing everything you could do to lose weight, at whatever pace your body is ready to release it.

Congrats on the great amount you have lost! It is awesome and you should be so proud of yourself!